"Well I guess this proves I've got a backbone afterall. Suck it dad!"

TPBM is about to to flip their car in a high speed chase.

"Damn, I washed my car this morning"

TPBM is waiting for the guillotine.

"Alright hunny, count the blinks!!"

The player below me has been sentanced to the electric chair.

"Could I go with the steam-powered chair instead?"

The poster below me accidentally shot their self.

"Lets play reverse russian roulette! Me first!"

The poster below just pressed the selfdestruct button of his secret HQ.

"Wait, that's not the room service button..."

TPBM thought they signed up for an 'intro to martial arts' class, but they actually signed up for an anything goes, to the death, MMA cage match.

"It's only a show, like WWE, right?"

TPBM is being pursued by ninjas.

"Well... I cant say I saw that one coming."

The player below me just found out his house is haunted by murderous ghosts...

"If you can't beat 'em, join em!"

The thermos that the poster below me just took a sip from was actually a lead-lined transportation container for radioactive slurry.

"Ugh, of course.... once again the girl at Starbucks got my order wrong."

The player below me just got dared to eat that thing thats been on the plate in the back of the work fridge since before Christmas.

"Still better than the canteen food!"

TPBM had a teleporter mishap, and arrived without legs.

"I'm not walking out of here alive."

TPBM is in a submarine that just ran out of gas.

"The good news is, we have enough food and water for three weeks! The bad news is, we only have enough oxygen for 45 minutes."

TPBM looks out the window just in time to see an out-of-control 18-wheeler heading towards their house.

"And I always thought tornados were the biggest threat to property value out here,"

TPBM is receiving a message when the masseuse decides to give you a Chill Touch.

"Wow! This massage is really cool. I'm chilling out."

TBPM is being sucked by a dark hole.

"Hey! You remind me of my second wife!"

TPBM accidentally lit themselves on fire at a backyard BBQ party.

"Dinner's ready, everyone!"

TPBM is standing up in an open field during a thunderstorm.

"Storm is a **** mechanic."

TPBM stepped is being eaten by a voracious squidcat.

"This would never have happened if you had elected AAARRRGH!"

TPBM is the victim of a political assassination.

"Vote Aaarrrgh for President!"

TPBM was attacked by a bunch of hungry wolverines.