The professor stared at her watch, eager to begin her lecture. It was the first day of class, and she wanted to start speaking on the hour so that anyone who was tardy would miss as much as possible. The timepiece's hands ticked on and on as the students filed into the room, and at long last they reached their mark. She opened her lecture notes to the first page, and she began to speak. "In this course, you will be learning introductory alchemy, beginning with the four elements of fire, water, earth and air, and moving on to cover the alchemical properties of various common substances, followed by the basics of inter-elemental transmutation and spontaneous generation. Are there any questions?" A student in the front row raised her hand, and the professor bid her speak. "Are we going to cover atomic theory?" The professor sighed; there was one in every class. "We will not be covering the atomic theory of matter because this is a science course, and the atomic theory has no basis in science. The tertiary elemental theory has been proven time and time again in dozens of independent experiments, whereas there hasn't been a single replicable study that supports the atomic theory." The student muttered something about it being in a book she read, then sat down quietly. "Now", the professor continued, "Who can tell me about the properties of fire?"

The count leisurely meandered along the shore of his county. Centuries ago, his ancestor had aided the king in a war against the great hordes of the West, and in exchange the king had given him his choice of counties over which to rule. His ancestor had chosen one upon the sea, not for any financial or political reason, but because he loved nothing more than to watch the surf crest upon the beach. The count shared his forefather's love for the sea, and every evening he would walk along it before retiring to his bedchambers. As he walked along it this night, he came across a brass lamp that had washed ashore in higher tides. Upon opening it, a dark smoke poured out, and from the smoke, a great voice began to speak. "I am a djinn, and though you have unbound me from my prison, I am bound still by honor. For your service, I shall issue you three wishes." The count thought briefly, then issued his first wish. "I wish that you would tell me what two wishes would bring me the greatest happiness. The djinn issued his answer. "First, wish for a bottle of the most delicious wine which exist, drink it, then wish for me to kill you instantly and painlessly." The count pondered the djinn's response, then issued his second wish. "I wish you would tell me what one wish would allow me to leave the greatest legacy on this earth." The ominous voice once more echoed from the smoke. "To best suit such an end, you should wish for a great army of the damned riding upon burning steeds to sweep the earth to its edges, bringing conquest to your house and death to all who would oppose you." The count resumed his deep contemplation, then issued his final wish. "Could I have a bottle of that wine?"

The sailor had worked the seas his entire life. As soon as his hands could manage, he began weaving nets with his mother, who told him tales of the vast leviathans that swam the oceans at the ends of the earth, and according to her, came ashore to devour naughty children who wouldn't do as they were told. When he turned 13, he joined his father on the small fishing boat which he worked on, and when he turned 18, he joined a crew on a merchant ship. For decades, he sailed across the seas, weathering terrible storms, fleeing vicious pirates, and visiting exotic foreign ports. He had been to places that those in his home town thought to be nothing but myth, and bought and sold rare and wondrous commodities for tidy profit margins. At the age of 35, he found the most marvelous treasure of all; love. He married, and soon he had a son of his own. And yet, he had to return to the sea. When he turned 45, he had finally earned enough to buy his own ship. Though not a large one, it was seaworthy, and it meant that, for the first time, he was a truly free man. He could sail the seas wherever he chose, and with a captain's share of the profits, he could spend half the year at port with his family. Upon telling his captain of the news, the captain's heart sank. The sailor had always been the best of his crew, and if he had his own ship, he would never work for the captain again. So, the captain devised a devious plan; he would steal aboard the sailor's ship in the dead of night, then put it to the torch. When he executed his plot, however, he was spotted by the sailor as he hastily escaped the flames which he had himself kindled. As dawn broke, the sailor stormed aboard the captain's ship and brought to light the captain's misdeeds. However, none in the crew believed their captain guilty of such an act, and thought him wrongly accused. They gave their condolences to the sailor, but would not give him the vengeance which he so richly desired. The sailor wished to slay his captain, but knew that if the captain was murdered after his outburst on the ship, he would be presumed the assassin, and so the sailor came up with a devious plan of his own. He caught the captain on his way home from the tavern, too full of rum to resist his assault, choked the captain with a length of rope, then strung his body up on the steeple of the church in the town square, with such a poorly tied and tangled knot that none would think it the work of a sailor. He returned to his bed, and slept what remained of the night away. When he awoke the next morning, guardsmen battered down his door and dragged him to face trial for murder. The sailor's crewmates spoke of his spite towards the captain, and he was hastily convicted and sentenced to death. "But wait!", he exclaimed as the guards began to drag him off to the gallows. "The knot 'round his neck could not have been tied by a skilled mariner, it was too poorly wrought!" The judge looked to him and replied. "And when did you have occasion to see the knot?"

A knight was passing along a deserted road on his return from the crusades when he was approached by a lovely young woman. "What might such a fetching lady as yourself be doing upon this deserted road?", he inquired. She smiled coyly and issued her reply. "I am a succubus, a demon from hell below." The knight's face turned pale with fright. "Are you here to draw and quarter me, then leave my entrails to the birds?" The succubus laughed. "Would that I could, but such an overt act has not been within the bounds of my station since the damner's son was sent to the cross. I am here to seduce you." The knight was given pause, and a look of confusion spread over his face. "Such a task ill befits a demon." "Far from it. To tempt a mortal into sin is to us a greater deed than a thousand quarterings, and to starve the birds is no concern of ours." The knight briefly contemplated her offer. "I will accept, but on condition that you honor a simple request. I have always desired to make love to a wealthy woman, and as such would find you more comely in jewelry." The knight produced a ring from his pocket. "I have heard that silver pains demons, but this ring is pure gold, taken from a sultan's finger in the holy land. You do wear gold, do you not?" "I do", she replied. The knight slipped it onto her finger, and they knew each other. The succubus crowed over her conquest. "I have performed a deed most wicked, tempting even a crusader to sin." The knight smiled. "'Twas no sin. We are wedded, husband and wife." The succubus looked in horror at the ring upon her finger. "I want no more part of such an arrangement!", she shouted, hellfire burning in her eyes. The paladin shook his head. "I cannot heed your request. Divorce is a most unholy sin."