*Poof* You now have the history channel playing on a nonstop loop in your head.

I wish I got everything I wanted for Christmas.

Poof! You have the worst Christmas ever because now you realize there's nothing you want for next year, you can't decide what to play with first, and you din't have enough money to buy the rechargeable batteries, nor the outlets to charge them at. Oh, and someone sees all the boxes delivered and robs your house.

I wish I could have a cameo in movies like Stan Lee does...that would be fun, right?

This I grant you! When Avengers 2 comes out you are in the credits as "explosion victim 1". Urban legend has it that a man died during the filming of that movie. I wonder who it could be?

I wish for the very best sweater in the world!

Poof! The world's best recorded sweater on record appears and promptly raises the humidity in your house overnight, and the smell, and stains on your carpets, towels, bathrobes, etc. drive you nuts until you shoot the dude, and now he just stinks.

I wish for a real bag of holding.

Wish granted! Unfortunately no one knows what it is, and someone makes the mistake of dropping another bag of holding into it, creating a space-time paradox and the world collapses.

I wish the world was always 78 degrees Fahrenheit all the time.

~SE++

Poof! Now there are suns all around in all directions, blasting continuously with solar wind, breaking through the magnetic field and blasting away all of our atmosphere. Of course, we all died off long ago from the extra radiation and sleep deprivation from constant sunlight.

I wish I could discover and lay claim to an orbiting asteroid riddled with gold deposits.

Granted! However, its orbit is slightly wider that that of Pluto. Also, it is a small asteroid. Even if you could find a way to harvest the gold, there is no way it would be worth it.

I wish I always had enough money to eat at nice restaurants.

Wish granted! You always have exactly enough to pay for your food, but no money to ever tip. As you eat out constantly, the quality of service you receive will sink lower and lower until you begin to notice spit in your food and intentional tampering. You'll try and go to lesser quality restaurants, and then realize you're broke and your wish only extended to nice places to eat.

I wish for a playset of every Magic: the Gathering card.

~SE++

Granted! They arrive in mint condition, sealed in a glass showcase that can never be opened. Makes for a very impressive paperweight.

I wish for a car.

Really? OK...poof! You just got a Ferrari Testarosa, or at least a look at it before it takes you out while crossing the street.

I wish for every person on the donor's list to receive a compatible, needed organ that saves their lives.

I grant you this! There were however some difficulties procuring organs from solely human sources. The largest plague of vampirism in human history results. Zombification reports are coming in from across the world at alarming rates, and well I had to resort to using werewolf parts too. At least none of the organ recipients died from whatever terminal condition they had before right? As I always say, "It's better to be put down by a shadow government task force than something dull like cancer".

I wish for complete anonymity.

Granted. All records of you have been erased. You do not exist. Good luck getting a passport, or a job, or anything that requires positive identification.

I wish that Arcane Archer's most recent wish regarding organ donations be granted without twists or complications whatsoever and that there is a limitless supply of perfect cloned human organs and nobody has to suffer as a result of this wish granting.

Also, @Arcane Archer; you rock man. I wouldn't have messed with your wish even if it was against the point of the game to do so.

*Poof*
Arcane Archer's wish has been granted. Every person on the donor's list receives a compatible, cloned human organ. You, however, do not get to witness this blessed miracle of events, because it has happened in another place. More precisely, you find that you are no longer where you remember growing up. You are chosen by the aliens who have granted you this wish to come back with them, so that they may study the human condition from your memories and biology. They assure you that you will not suffer, and that very soon your being will be uploaded onto their computers, so there's an eternity of alien questions awaiting you.

I wish for an unknown prize, that I would be happy to receive, to show up on my doorstep in a bulletproof container, preferably one that is also immune to other methods of opening, like crowbars.

I grant you this! Unfortunately the package is immune to a lot more than crowbars and you are entirely unable to open it. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but trust me, there's something really good in there.

I wish for a full playset of Born Of The Gods, right now, before the release date.

Poof! You now have a full playset of...Chinese counterfeit cards. Worthless, and the ink smudges.

I wish incontinence, low T, regularity, and period relief commercials would never show on TV again, as in NEVER.

Granted! All electronic screens in the world have stopped working, and no one can figure out how to fix them, or make any new ones which get past this problem. The whole world has been set back to the analog age.

I wish to know what actually happened to Jimmy Hoffa.

Wish granted! You are now buried alongside him.

I wish I could deny ratings to reality shows.

Granted! This strange power turns you into a bit of a sensation, and you are constantly bombarded by requests from TV networks wanting you to not only approve of their shows but star in one yourself. Be prepared for death threats if you refuse...

I wish to be able to keep up with social tastes of film, TV, and music, without having to experience those things for myself.

This I grant you!

I wish for telescopic vision.

Wish granted, your eyes are now telescopes that protrude 3 feet from your head and are quite difficult to manipulate. On the plus side, you don't need any other attachments to look through your neighbor's window...

I wish for more wishes!

~SE++