Nearly 20 years onward and I'm still having nightmares about not finishing high school. You ever think something might be wrong with our education system?
I was just talking to someone within the last month or so about that recurring dream. While I do agree with the premise that something is inherently wrong with our educational system, my own suspicion is that it reflects the subconscious thought that you are forgetting something. I think the reason it takes the form of a high school class (or actual high school completion, in some cases) is because that's a massive and instantly-understandable thing.
But who the hell knows? It could just be "an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato."
For me the form it ends up taking is that I'm late to my college classes. Then I realize in sequence that I don't know what my schedule is today, I don't know what classes I'm taking this semester, and that I in fact am not actually still in college and this is therefore a dream. Then I wake up. It's less nightmarish and more surreal, really.
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"Enjoy your screams, Sarpadia - they will soon be muffled beneath snow and ice."
I'm a (self) published author now! You can find my books on Amazon in Paperback or ebook! The Accursed, a standalone young adult fantasy adventure. Witch Hunters, book one of a young adult Scifi-fantasy trilogy.
For me the form it ends up taking is that I'm late to my college classes. Then I realize in sequence that I don't know what my schedule is today, I don't know what classes I'm taking this semester, and that I in fact am not actually still in college and this is therefore a dream. Then I wake up. It's less nightmarish and more surreal, really.
I've had a few varieties of this sort of dream. In one of them, I am in college, near the end of a semester or occasionally near the end of my last semester, and I realize that there is one class I have not been to basically at all, and I start to panic thinking that I won't pass, and that somehow that's going to throw everything off. This one might be because I started by Graduate school only about two or three weeks after graduating college, so if something HAD gone wrong, it legitimately would have messed some timing up.
The other one I've had over the years is that, for some reason, I need to do high school over again. Now, even in the dream, I still HAVE my BA and MA, but there's some lingering threat that I shouldn't have been allowed to get them, and so this was some sort of weird compromise that I can keep my advanced degrees if I go through HS again. It makes no sense, but there it is.
I somewhat wonder if that one might be a sort of subconscious Imposter Syndrome thing...
Well, another week down. I've had some super progress on my most recent painting project. The centerpiece of the model is about done, but I've run into a problem trying to color coordinate the rest of the thing. As good as it feels to have made the progress I will say I... Dove head in on this way way too hard because I have a giant pile of plastic that's going to be a nightmare to try to work through. I actually worry about my own mortality for the amount of time I'm looking at.
The least I can say is that I don't think there's any other models I'm likely to want, so at least the pile is unlikely to grow anymore.
Which... Speaking of mortality, that's something that's been on my mind too frequently these days. Likely exacerbated by the state of my life, or the lack of traditional success to measure it by. That is to say, lack of relationship or progeny. I know it's a serious bummer to suddenly serve into, so I'll move on.
In other news, was far as magic goes, I've been working on a few decks that's kept me occupied. Thunder Junction... Has been fundamentally inferior to our works. Not least because we aren't beset by an eye watering amount of cameos that is seemingly going to define this era. It's like all the worst lessons were learned and I'm kind of stunned by the execution.
Lastly, I decided to use my tax refund to do something stupid and bought a PS5. Probably not the smartest thing, as I color with overall financial anxiety given mostly the state of the economy and the volatility of my current work status, but that last is mostly my own doing. The GM has applied to another location so he can move up the corporate ladder and I'm at a point that if I don't gel with the office, I'm fine quitting. Now, admittedly, after having gotten my end of year raise, I'm finally getting paid to the point that I actually would be bothered to lose that income, which is... Not a feeling I've had before.
... Sorry, feel like that was a rather heavy update all over, but that's been my state of mind.
How are you?
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
Joined: Sep 22, 2013 Posts: 5700 Location: Inside my own head
Identity: Human
still not too great ( ꒦ິ﹏ ꒦ິ )
stymied by people offering unsolicited advice and/or outright taking control from me
had an okay work week because of spring break but it's about to be a horrible several to make up for it, since we're about to move office starting tomorrow evening, and our first live day at the new office is already confirmed to be a full-volume Monday (because management seems incapable of planning [and in fact is so incompetent I was asked personally to take a picture of the "racks" that we do not have because they asked the moving company to uninstall them and reinstall them at the new office]) so that's going to be hell
I have finally started watching Hyouka that someone sent me some Christmases ago and the main characters are very very very very neurodivergent -- the main boy is very autistic and the main girl seems ADHD -- and I mean that in the best possible way
Honestly, I was giving everyone else a chance to chime in, but as always, it's good to see you Luna. Sorry to hear you're having a tough time and likely to have a tougher one coming up
Here's hoping things aren't so bad for you
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
Honestly, I was giving everyone else a chance to chime in,
Sorry, it has been an unbelievably busy couple of weeks for me, which will continue through Monday at the very least. Between getting sick, work, friends visiting, and medical issues, I feel like I've been going non-stop for two weeks straight, and I could really use a breather.
Anyway, I hope things get better for both of you, and anyone else for whom things could be better around here, as well. Hang in there. We'll all get through these things together!
On a different note, Happy Birthday, Aaarrrgh! I hope your day is suitably splendiferous and that you get to spend it with people you love, doing things you enjoy!
Wow, I haven't been here in a long time. I had very few social spoons at all for a while, and so I fell off from here. I did have a good birthday though, thank you!
Now that this poll is officially over, it's time to congratulate Aaarrrgh for designing Hill, which has been decided by popular vote to be the Card of the Month for October 2013!
Wow, I haven't been here in a long time. I had very few social spoons at all for a while, and so I fell off from here. I did have a good birthday though, thank you!
No worries! And I'm glad to hear you had a good birthday.
Wow, I haven't been here in a long time. I had very few social spoons at all for a while, and so I fell off from here. I did have a good birthday though, thank you!
Sorry to hear the spoons have been so low lately, but we're glad you're spending a few to pop back in! Hopefully things'll settle back out for you soon enough, but if you ever need anything, we're here for you friend.
And naturally, it's good to hear you had a good birthday.
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
As it turns out, teaching sixth grade (and specifically a sixth grade class which has had a pretty rocky relationship with all of their previous teachers) can be rough. Add in having three kids at home with their own struggled and the spoons run out quickly. But I'm slowly finding my stride at work, and the baby is sleeping better than he was, so things are improving.
Pretty much the only thing I've put energy into outside of work and family had been my rpg game. The group I've been playing with had slowly been disintegrating, and since we got a major climax in the campaign this week we decided to stop there. So now I'm saying goodbye to the Dwarf Monk I've been playing (and goodbye to the Pathfinder system in general). The good news there is that we're going to try to find some new players to try to get a game of Mage the Ascension started. I've been wanting to try that system for a while now, so that will be exciting.
Now that this poll is officially over, it's time to congratulate Aaarrrgh for designing Hill, which has been decided by popular vote to be the Card of the Month for October 2013!
I have a few pictures of my most recent figure, but the file size limit prevents me from uploading the best angles
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
Not the one I was talking about, but the one I've painted this past week. Deus Rex Vult
Time for a crusade
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
As it turns out, teaching sixth grade (and specifically a sixth grade class which has had a pretty rocky relationship with all of their previous teachers) can be rough. Add in having three kids at home with their own struggled and the spoons run out quickly. But I'm slowly finding my stride at work, and the baby is sleeping better than he was, so things are improving.
Sounds tricky! Sending my best wishes and all kinds of good energies your way.
Actually, sending them to all of you
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The good news there is that we're going to try to find some new players to try to get a game of Mage the Ascension started. I've been wanting to try that system for a while now, so that will be exciting.
Ooo, fun! I've heard a bit about Mage but never played it or even opened the corebook, so lemme know how it goes! From what I know it's very cool but needs a lot of brainpower?
Speaking of brainpower:
You may remember me mentioning a couple of ttrpg campaigns; well, they've been a big tax on my ol' noggin and I could go on pretty extensively about them both, so I'll type a summary and expand later if anyone is curious:
D&D 5e - Curst of Strahd, as a player
I love my character, an Mark of Shadows Vistani Elf (reskinned to have been marked by Ravenloft's Mists before birth) on the path of the College of Spirits Bard (Ravenloft-specific subclass, I couldn't not); she's a bit shifty and not exactly law-abiding but it's all for the greater good of freeing Barovia from that horrible, horrible Strahd, right? She loves stories and sees the BBEG as a villain whose tragedy requires an ending that's long overdue.
This has been somewhat complicated by her long-lost twin, played by one of my best friend, that ended up a CE Draconic Sorcerer who joined the cult of a red dragon and joined the party with the goal of getting stronger by any means necessary; we played a long portion of the campaign advocating for our ways of doing things, with the rest of the Good party actually agreeing with the conniving sadistic sorcerer more often than not. Fighting tooth and nail for your beliefs against the person you loved more than your own life that now constantly **** with you for **** and giggles while still having your back in combat has been... engaging, but very draining.
We're now playing the final boss rush as we storm Castle Ravenloft (pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be this many fights on the row, but we managed to become wereravens and regeneration is one hell of a feature to give PCs) and it looks like the DM has plans to keep the campaign going after Strahd's defeat, but as engaging as it has been I just want to close this story with a satisfying ending. After Strahd is taken down, there will only be off-game reasons for the twins NOT to plot each other's death, and I'm just sick and tired of playing such a pained character.
VtM V20 - What Doesn't Kill You (original campaign), as the Storyteller
Meet the Jackals, a (homebrew) secret Independent faction that preys on Camarilla and Sabbat alike to protect most of Belarus from the Camarilla's stranglehold and the Sabbat's senseless violence. Born as an alliance between a jaded Gangrel tactician, a cunning True Brujah politician and a reclusive Tzimisce occultist, they eventually found common ground with a determined Toreador who nursed dreams of an independent Minsk, and eventually granted her wish.
Time, however, hasn't been kind to the Jackals, and keeping control of Belarus as Elder after Elder woke up to send cities into chaos due to the Beckoning proved... taxing. The Tzimisce elder has always viewed the Jackals as a pack of watchdogs for his lab, to be kept obedient with rank vozhd blood and the occasional powerful occult equipment, and has little interest in actually leading; the Brujah founder is losing interest in the Jackal project after siring his first childer in [s]millennia[/s] centuries, and unbeknownst to most Jackals, the Gangrel founder, de facto leader and brains of the Jackals, has left following the Backoning. Cue the party being pieced together, after much insistence from certain overworked Jackals, from a (legacy character) firebrand Brujah that drank his way (gaining Addiction) his from Italy to Minsk after losing her True Love to the Sabbat in the worst way (being turned into an antitribu Toreador), a traumatized Brujah influencer that ended up the latest pupil of the Minsk's Toreador ruler, a runaway Gangrel that still secretly meets with her Shadow Lord Ragabash sister... and Path of Cathari Caitiff (a failed experiment of the Tzimisce founder) and a Lasombra on the Path of Power and the Inner Voice (Sabbat fresh recruit accidentally "rescued" when the Jackal's elite fighters wiped his sire's pack) who secretly plot to reshape the Jackals in their twisted image. The last two characters made me work the hardest, kinda sequence-breaking their way into forming a tentative alliance a very shady but extremely knowledgeable character... who's actually a fanatic Tzimisce who wants to eradicate his entire clan and has his eyes on the Jackal's oldest fleshcrafter as his next diablerie target, and has been stirring up trouble in Jackal territory to weaken them since the '90s.
As the party struggles to handle all the tasks the older, overworked Jackals put on their shoulders, the Caitiff (played by the same friend who roleplays my Bard's literal Evil Twin, surprise surprise) botches a diablerie the night after a grand event at their clandestine fighting ring and gets his soul ripped apart; the Lasombra knows the occultist Jackals will come sniffing after the Caitiff's "mysterious disappearance" and discover the Caitiff has been dabbling with secret arcane powers with the Lasombra's knowledge and blessing, and to avoid the undoubtedly brutal punishment (there are few worse torturers than a creative Tzimisce with a grudge) he will stage a fake external attack and destroy their own haven, banking on the fact all kinds of vampires just got to Minsk for their aforementioned event and the Jackals will likely suspect them as he leaves Belarus and hides in Poland among the Anarchs (becoming an NPC) thanks to his new "ally".
So, while the two players are already coming up with their new characters, an ex-Grimaldi and an ex-"Danislav" (born from the breeding of a Bratovich matriarch and a Black Spiral Dancer **** of a Theurge) tasked by the ancient and mistrustful Tzimisce with discovering the truth about the "attack", I have to manage the sudden shift of the Jackals from "overworked and possibly disillusioned but stable secret society" to "secret pack of Ancillae and Elders on high alert due to a possible breach". How exactly the Lasombra will go about destroying the evidence of their plot and hide his tracks will determine how paranoid and volatile the Jackals' spymaster (and quest-giver) will be, thus heavily affecting the tone of the next stage of the campaign.
...whelp, I didn't intend to get to this word count lol, I'll come back soon for the non-ttrpg updates
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Cecil Gershwin Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale) wrote:
The good news there is that we're going to try to find some new players to try to get a game of Mage the Ascension started. I've been wanting to try that system for a while now, so that will be exciting.
Ooo, fun! I've heard a bit about Mage but never played it or even opened the corebook, so lemme know how it goes! From what I know it's very cool but needs a lot of brainpower?
We still have some openings if you want to join!
It will be an apprentice campaign, so we're all highschool kids in a small town in America in 1994, just discovering the world of magic. We did character creation last week and are playing our first real session on Friday. I'm playing a scrawny nerd whose dad gives him every electronic gadget he could want, so he's chronically online at a time when most people haven't even heard of the internet. And from there he begins realizing that the world is not necessarily as it seems. I'm really looking forward to the game.
@Curse of Strahd: I played that campaign once, but we never finished it. Still have very fond memories of the most ridiculously botched stealth mission I've ever been a part of. Gave me a lot of Reddit karma too: https://www.reddit.com/r/dndmemes/s/L22oFahriV
@VtM: I understood some of those words! I'm doing the World of Darkness in a different order than most people. I played Werewolf, I'm getting into Mage, I've never touched Vampire.
Now that this poll is officially over, it's time to congratulate Aaarrrgh for designing Hill, which has been decided by popular vote to be the Card of the Month for October 2013!
I have no idea if CKY ever comes around these parts anymore, but just in case, Happy Birthday, CKY! Thank you for your contributions to the project, and I hope things are going very well for you!
My most recent painting project turned out pretty damn good, but it's only after having bought and painted the thing that I now sit here and realize that... I already had a model that would have worked out considerably better for my intention that I could have used if I'd just thought about it. So, that's a thing.
Also, Raven, you are one post away from 11000 posts!
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
Also, Raven, you are one post away from 11000 posts!
Sweet! I'm going to have to think carefully about what to put in my next post to make the 11,000th post really special.
Wait...
Well, crude.
>Sniff< That was beautiful
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
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