Written in Blood
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant non-Aura enchantment
Enchanted enchantment loses all abilities and has "At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 2 life." and ": Sacrifice this enchantment."
At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 2 life.

Blood of the Dead Gods
Enchantment ─ Aura (M)
Affinity for legendary creature cards in your graveyard.
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gains indestructible, deathtouch and lifelink.
"We slew them and salted the remains. But they tainted the blood of our families hoping that would protect them." ─ Rory Tavok, Tainted Hunter.

Tied to the Tracks
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature or planeswalker
Enchanted creature can’t attack or block, and its activated abilities can’t be activated.
Whenever one or more Vehicles attack, put a time counter on Tied to the Tracks. Then, if there are three or more time counters on Tied to the Tracks, exile enchanted creature.

Time and Tied

Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a stun counter on target tapped permanent
As sun and stars wheeled overhead in a kaleidoscopic display of passing eons through an ever-deeper veil of water, Fiko began to suspect that he was there for a long time, not a good time.

I am aware of Time and Tide, this is slightly different for punnage.

And excellent punnage it is sir!

Thyme Wok
Artifact ─ Equipment (M)
Equipped creature gains ": Create a Food token."
Exile Thyme Wok: Take an extra turn after this one. Activate this ability only if your life total is equal to or greater than your starting life total.
Equip
The dumplings were transcendent. He simply had to experience them again.

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme
Sorcery {R}
Create a Food token, a 1/1 blue Human Wizard creature token, and a Forest land token. Take an extra turn after this one.

Questionable Advice
Sorcery
Target opponent looks at the top five cards on your library and separates them into two face-down piles. You may sacrifice up to two Clues. For each Clue sacrificed this way, reveal one of those piles. Then, choose a pile, put it in your hand, and put the other pile on the bottom of your library in random order.
"Massacre Girl may be an expert in her...field. But I am not taking at face value anything anyone named Massacre Girl tells me." — Alquist Proft, master sleuth

Oops. Wrong game.

Mage of Questionable Means
Creature - Zombie Wizard
Spells you cast cost less to cast.
Spells you cast have "As an additional cost to cast this spell, pay 2 life."
2/1

Mage's Command
Instant (U)
Return X permanents with different types to their owners hands.

Command Made Flesh
Instant
Counter target noncreature spell. Create a 3/3 blue Vedalken creature token.
Dolera commanded. And so it was.

The Defleshinator
Legendary Artifact (M)
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, destroy it.
: Target player reveals their hand. You choose a creature card from it. That player puts it onto the battlefield under their control.
At the beginning of your end step, if a creature didn't enter the battlefield that turn, sacrifice The Defleshinator.
"Ah, ah, look, Norm, you see? You put a big red "X" on the floor, people will stand there!" ─ Dr. Doofenshmirtz

The Inchoate Flesh
Legendary Creature — Horror
The Inchoate Flesh enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters.
Whenever The Inchoate Flesh attacks, mill one, two, three, or four cards. When you do, The Inchoate Flesh gains at random that many of the following abilities until end of turn—trample, deathtouch, indestructible, or decayed.
Escape—, Exile X creature cards from your graveyard
0/0

Incohate Invasion

Tribal Enchantment - Phyrexian
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under an opponent's control, Incubate X, where X is equal to that creature's power.
The unborn seeds of Phyrexia await only a master to call them forth.

still in my top 5 games

Inchoate Emissary
Creature - Horror Cleric
Exalted
Whenever a creature a player controls blocks a creature you control, you may scry X, where X is the number of creatures they control that haven't blocked this turn.
Halfborne flesh formed around a fully realized message; it calls as much as it chases.
4/3

Emissary of the Tribeless
Legendary Creature ─ Elemental Shaman (M)
When Emissary of the Tribeless enters the battlefield, choose a counter type.
Emissary of the Tribeless enters the battlefield with X counters of the chosen type.
1/1

Northern Water Tribe Soldier
Creature — Human Soldier
: Northern Water Tribe Soldier gets +1/-1 until end of turn.
: Untap Northern Water Tribe Soldier.
1/4

Northern Exposure

Snow Sorcery
Put a stun counter on each creature. If was spent to cast Northern Exposure, return it to its owner's hand as it resolves.