Fermi Estimation

Enchantment
When Fermi Estimation enters the battlefield and at the beginning of your upkeep, all powers, toughnesses, and life totals become the nearest power of ten. Round up if necessary. (1, 10, 100, or so on)
On a grand enough scale, it really is all the same.

I see your estimation card and I raise you a paradox.

Fermi Paradox

Enchantment
Non-human creature spells can't be cast.
When Fermi Paradox enters the battlefield, destroy all non-human creatures.
When a Vehicle with flying enters the battlefield, destroy Fermi Paradox.
If they exist, then where are they?

I was really hoping the next card would have that name, thank you

Incite Paradox

Sorcery
The controller of target legendary permanent creates X tokens that are copies of it.

Incite Chaos
Sorcery
For each non-land permanent, a random player gains control of it.

Scrambleverse

Cisarzim, Lord of Chaos
Legendary Creature — Cyclops Berserker
Haste
Whenever Cisarzim, Lord of Chaos attacks, exile all other attacking creatures you control. Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal that many creature cards. Put those creature cards onto the battlefield tapped and attacking and the rest of the cards on the bottom of your library in random order.
"My Gruul, we agreed on peace, not civilization. Keep this true."
4/4

Crap! Foiled again!

Lord's Vestments
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature is legendary and gains hexproof.
When you equip ~, destroy all other creatures with the same name as equipped creature.
Equip

Golgui Tiab, Hoof Overlord
Legendary Creature - Centaur Ranger (R)
Equine commander (You may have equine cards in your deck regardless of color identity. Equines are Centaurs, Horses, Pegasi, and Unicorns.)
Equine creatures you control have trample and vigilance.
Whenever an equine creature you control deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.
3/3

Hoof and Claw and Tooth and Tail
Sorcery
Search your library for four Beast cards with different names and put them onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library.
"... Scratch and bite and tear and wail."

Claw Back
Instant
For each permanent you own but don't control, Claw Back deals 2 damage to that permanent's controller. Then, you gain control of it and if it's an Aura or Equipment, you may attach it to a permanent you control or to you.
Mountaincycling
A Broker contract is still only as strong as its enforcement.

Never Back Down
Instant
If you would lose the game this turn, instead you don't. Your life total becomes 1 and you lose all poison counters.
Whenever ~ is exiled, suspend it and put 3 time counters on it.
Flashback

Down the Hatch

Instant
Destroy target creature or planeswalker. Create a food token.

Open the Hatch
Sorcery
You mill five cards, then target opponent chooses a creature card in your graveyard unless they discard a card and return this spell to its owner's hand. If they chose a creature card, you return it to the battlefield.
Commander Ungtuel was the first to finally acknowledge the knocking, that it was not in each of their heads. She ordered her crew to ignore it. Commander Ungtuel was the one to finally answer the knocking. Her crew ordered each other to ignore her pleading from outside.

Open Door Policy
Enchantment
When ~ enters the battlefield, draw three cards, then reveal your hand. They remain revealed until they leave your hand.
Whenever you play a revealed card from your hand, put an honesty counter on ~. Then, if there are seven or more honesty counters on ~, you win the game at the beginning of your next upkeep.

Lock the Door |
Enchantment
Lock the Door doesn't untap during your untap step.
, : Target player cannot draw cards from their library, cannot search their library, and cannot look at or reveal cards from their library for as long as Lock the Door remains tapped. Activate only as a sorcery.
: Untap Lock the Door. Any player may activate this ability.
Some libraries are better left sealed.

Lock and Load
Instant
Target creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn. If it is equipped, it gains trample until end of turn.

Load of Bull

Sorcery
Create X 3/3 green Ox creature tokens with haste.

Bull-Headed Glory Hound
Creature - Hound Minotaur Warrior
Haste, vigilance
~ attacks and blocks each turn if able.
She dives into the fray again and again, desperate to clear the dishonor of her heritage.
4/4

Don't ask me what is she supposed to look like

Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory
Sorcery
Scry X, where X is your devotion to white. Then, reveal the top card on your library. If that card is an enchantment card with mana value X or less, put it onto the battlefield. Otherwise, draw a card.

Rampage-Eye the Fanatical
Legendary Creature - Elephant Knight (R)
Haste, vigilance
Rampage-Eye the Fanatical attacks and blocks each combat if able.
Whenever Rampage-Eye deals combat damage to a creature, put a judgment counter on Rampage-Eye.
, Remove a judgment counter from Rampage-Eye: Put a +1/+1 counter on Rampage-Eye and it gains indestructible until end of turn. Draw a card. Actvate only once each turn.
3/7

God-Pharaoh's Fanatic
Creature — Jackal Berserker
Zombie tokens you control have haste and trample.
Eternalize
"Your faith is made of sand if it is scattered the moment it is challenged!"
2/1