Hey, you wouldn't happen to be a group of those popular Drow who are shaking off the stereotypes of your race, and forming a rebellious band of chaotic good rogues and warriors? Yeah, I didn't really think so...

TPBM accidentally walked between a mother bear and her cub.

"Hey! You wanna work for the Gund or Ty company?"

TPBM has wandered into an alien landing site, and it's more like Falling Skies and Signs than E.T.

"I surrender, unless there's probing, then I volunteer."

The player below me is about to use one of the Suicide Booths from Futurama.

~SE++

"Least this string will let me get my quarter back."

The player below be just got captured by the Russian mob.

"Вы, ребята, надо быть самые уродливые невест по почте когда-либо."

The player below me is getting dragged to death by a horse.

~SE++

"What a drag..."

TPBM is tied to a bundle of C4 as they demolish a football stadium.

""Well least I'll die happy knowing theres one less football stadium in the world"

The player below me cut the yellow wire, when he should have cut the blue one...

"Dang! I'm color blind. Umm, eeney-meeney-miney-moe..."

TPBM is in a dark alley as Mack the Knife pops up behind them

"Hah! 'Mack the Knife'? Thats such a bad nickname, at least 'Jack the Ripper' sounds friggin cool."

TPBM just accidentally received a lethal dose of radiation.

"Hope I get a third eye! Will I doc, will I?"

TPBM just inhaled too many gas fumes trying to syphon fuel from a cop car.

"At first I was high and dry...now it just seems I'll be high and die."

TPBM has contracted a never-before-seen virus, and the doctor says he has only 12 hours to live...

"Its the final countdown!"

The player below me just found themselves in a mexican standoff...

"Ummm....Are you the Bad or the Ugly?"

TPBM didn't notice the popped seal on a jar of pickles and caught botulism.

"Seems I've found myself in quite the ....pickle..."

TPBM is being attacked by a giant crab.

"It seemsmy mom is right...messing with the beach girls did result in getting a case of the crabs! Aaaaaah!!!!"

Since Arcane Archer didn't give a prompt, I'll just ignore him.

"Ironically enough, I always thought my seafood allergy would be the thing to kill me."

TPBM licked a below freezing lamp pole on a dare, and is now firmly stuck and abandoned by their friends as the temperature keeps dropping.

"Ahwayth ook on the bight thide of lithe!"

TPBM just got crucified by the Romans and is beginning to suffocate when you can't hold yourself up any longer (they broke your legs, too...)

"I can't hang out much longer..."

The player below me is being digested by a giant snake.

~SE++

"Well, it's still bigger than my apartment..."

The player below me is inside a plane, and the engines just failed.

*Jumps out window*
"I've always wanted to go skydiving."

The player below me slipped on an icy sidewalk and broke their spine.