Joined: Sep 22, 2013 Posts: 5700 Location: Inside my own head
Identity: Human
So, I had been looking through old notes, and I came across this seemingly complete short story, some 1300 words long, that I don't have any memories writing.
It seems to have been written around February 2018, and for the life of me I can't figure out what I was making it for. It was marked for the M:EM, but I don't recognize the setting or characters involved. If I ask anything of those reading it, it would be to tell me if they recognize anything here from another thread.
Rereading it myself, I honestly found it a fascinating read, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't partly because I was trying to figure out why I wrote this story and what I was planning with it. There wasn't even a title for the piece, so I don't have much to go on.
Spoiler
Lady Caldwyn breathed deeply, steadying herself for what she knew was coming. The air was thick with dust, and the musk of her bull-headed hosts filled the air. It made her want to gag, but she was better than that. She was a royal, of the seventh generation descended from the Hellkite Orascus, king of Ultea. Weakness of her own would be the weakness of the kingdom and of her progenitors.
Before her loomed the massive Gates of the Ashen Realm, that underworld of fire and ice. Set directly into the face of a mountain, they dominated all views from the valley. While once untouched slabs of stone, over many generations the Minotaur inhabitants of Precipice had built a vertical city onto the face of the Gates. From afar, the buildings looked like bits of rubble next to the imposing portal. A swarm of figures at the base threw up clouds of dust as they worked to open the doors.
The sounds of rattling chains and bellowing taskmasters rumbled over the thunder of a thousand hooves and hands. The stone slid unnaturally smoothly, slowly revealing the world beyond. A blast of dry heat slid from the crack in the doorway, eagerly rushing out to escape the dark underworld, stench of ash and blood following closely behind.
Lady Caldwyn quashed her body's reactions, keeping her stoic composure even as the sickened cries of a hundred creatures rose up around her. She kept her eyes firmly locked on the doors to the Ashen Realm and beyond, to the creature slowly being revealed as they opened. Only once the Gates were fully opened did it emerge, walking with all the slowness and opulence of a fattened merchant. Filling nearly the entire frame of the Gates to his Realm, the pale dragon stood imposingly in the valley among the humanoid creatures which barely reached his ankles.
If the smells hadn't made Lady Caldwyn naseous before now, the sight of this corpulent dragon certainly would have. The pale white scales were stained from snout to tail in soot and grime and old blood, its torso ballooned out like a bloated corpse as its belly nearly dragged the ground, and unpolished jewelry hung from its horns in gaudy displays. The uncaring opulence sickened her to the core.
With another deep, steadying breath, she spoke. "Ryxamahd, King of the Ashen Realm. I am Lady Caldwyn, here to represent Hellkite Orascus and the interests of the kingdom of Ultea." Magically amplified, her voiced echoed several times through the valley after she spoke. It was a formality, as any dragon fit enough to claim a throne would have heard her even at an Elven squeak, but the throne of Ultea could not show weakness.
A ponderous growl rose up as the echoes of her own voice died out. It rumbled like thunder across the valley before the dragon spoke. "Lady Caldwyn?" he said, speaking slowly, dragging out her title as if it tasted strange in his mouth. "I should take offense that Orascus could not leave his hoard long enough to meet with me over matters of his realm personally, but I know you. What is your lineage, little Caldwyn?" Ryxamahd casually turned his head to stare directly down at her, his half-lidded gaze carrying all the strength and threat that a dragon of his size projected.
Lady Caldwyn could feel that gaze push against her glamour, but she maintained her composure. Courtesy dictated offering her full lineage, as it, too, could prove her strength and worthiness. Her voice echoed back and forth across the valley as she recited no less than forty members of her family tree, tracing her way back to king Orascus. Ryxamahd stared silently at her the entire time, the weight of his scrutiny straining at the edges of her mind as she recited her bloodline.
Again Ryxamahd growled before speaking, the low vibrations hinting at irritation. "Seven generations removed from Orascus himself," he said. "What have you done to prove yourself in your short lifetime, little whelp? What could you do to stand next to my three-thousand year reign?"
"Three thousand years of banishment," she corrected him. "I have served my blood and king Orascus and the kingdom of Ultea for over one hundred years. I held against the army of Shampye on the plains of Gallagh outnumbered four to one. I faced the hordes of undead in the bog of Tinneth-Tel on the Eve of Sin. I have acted as both general and soldier across the nation of Ultea from North to South, East and West. I have proven my worth to my king and kin Orascus. Any words you speak to me shall carry to his ear."
This time there was no build-up, no his or grumble before Ryxamahd snapped back at her. "One hundred years?" he said. "You say you've seen the armies of Shampye? I was among the Talon-Wing Guard when Gelgreiad betrayed his king to found Shampye. You say you fought undead on the Eve of Sin? I witnessed its Sundering. I demand to be treated with the respect my position deserves!"
"You were banished for treason against your king and your blood!" Lady Caldwyn shot back. "You have been given more respect than your position deserves! You are a lowly Wyrm, ruling among Wyrms. Deliver your message or begone from the surface, and return to your rightful place among the Ash."
Ryxamahd spread his wings out in a primal display of power, and Lady Caldwyn felt another wave of nausea rise up. His wings were shrunken, wasted from disuse, stained and tattered from utter neglect. They were a disgrace, a horrifying jewel in the twisted crown of his 'kingly' appearance. Smoke and steam billowed from Ryxamahd's nostrils as his inner fire rose with his temper.
This time, the Wyrm's growl did not subside when he spoke, his anger suffusing every word he uttered. "Despite my position, little Caldwyn, I am still blooded kin to Orascus. Listen well, whelp, for I will not repeat myself. Unjhenal's banishment will be ending soon. I know her well, and she will not be seeking atonement, but retribution. If she has her way, all of Ultea will burn. Deliver these words to your king. When next we meet, I will devour you."
With a plodding gait befitting his massive size, Ryxamahd turned and retreated back through the gate, to his kingdom of ice and fire. The thousand hands which had opened the Gates of the Ashen Realm worked again in reverse to close them behind the colossal dragon. Lady Caldwyn watched stoically until the last resounding thud that signaled its closing. It wouldn't do to show weakness now.
When she turned, she found her retinue faithfully standing at attention behind her. Eight golden-skinned Apex Elves stood fully clad in Ultean armor, their lupine mounts loyally at their sides. One stepped forward to address her. "Your orders, my Lady?" she simply asked.
Of all the creatures of the valley, she was the only one likely to have understood Lady Caldwyn's and Ryxamahd's conversation in their draconic tongue. "We return to Ultea. Ryxamahd had nothing but empty threats to the king."
Lady Caldwyn stared pointedly into her too-bright golden eyes. Bolga, she went by, and she was no elf. Lady Caldwyn held Bolga's true identity as a changeling as leverage, to ensure her loyalty. Lady Caldwyn knew her weakness, and held complete power over her. She would not disobey her Lady even if she had private objections.
Lady Caldwyn may have been loyal to her king and blood, but she was still a dragon, and had ambitions of her own. Letting this Unjhenal kill off a few her kin would put her closer in the line for inheritance. Seven generations was a long time to wait, if her turn ever even came up. There was, after all, nothing wrong with weakening Ultea if she could become stronger.
Joined: Sep 22, 2013 Posts: 5700 Location: Inside my own head
Identity: Human
It seems Raven has helped me solved the mystery!
Apparently, I wrote this as a piece set in a world I had been building at one time, but originally it had been for an RPG campaign. I'm not sure whatever became of that project, though I'm assuming if I marked this for the M:EM, I was hoping to convert it to be suitable to post here, but to introduce it via stories instead of a dossier.
Well, no matter where it came from our why, it's a good read. I certainly want to know more about both this world and the people in the story. I really enjoy characters with non-human perspectives, and you did a good job of making the dragons feel properly alien in how they acted and related to each other. Well done!
Now that this poll is officially over, it's time to congratulate Aaarrrgh for designing Hill, which has been decided by popular vote to be the Card of the Month for October 2013!
Well, no matter where it came from our why, it's a good read. I certainly want to know more about both this world and the people in the story. I really enjoy characters with non-human perspectives, and you did a good job of making the dragons feel properly alien in how they acted and related to each other. Well done!
I'm going to preface this by saying I have something of a second-person perspective on this story. I can't claim to be completely objective, because I can definitely see my style all over it, but since I don't remember actually writing it, I can't say what I was going for with any particular thing.
That said, I don't agree that the dragons are "alien." I'd say they were a neat twist on the typical grandstanding and double-meanings of royalty, with a hint of that royal sociopathy that is common among such characters, but if they were that far removed from normal human behavior, I don't think they'd work as well. I would never hold this up to work like Shakespeare, but I think his is some of the most well-known work about royalty and royal problems, and I'd say there's a bit of a through-line one can follow as far as the motions and motivations these characters have: honor, pride, and greed especially. I mean, there's a whole section where they're basically just trying to one-up each other by naming what war theatres they've been to (not that all or any of the named locations/events were wars, but you get the idea).
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Also, UPDATE! I found several pages of notes on the world this takes place in, buried some three folders down in my google drive. There was a lot of weird stuff I was doing with that world, almost all of it borrowed from one source or another and shaped slightly to get them to mesh with each other.
Things like the five elven tribes from Elf Quest were meshed with Goblin Punch's "elves live on the moon" idea, which was combined with the mythology of Chang'e by having 13 moons which orbited a world tree, while the sun took a note from Egyptian mythology by following a river of mana which snaked through the Ashen Realm underneath the world (i.e. Hell). Minotaurs guarding the gates of hell, as seen here, was another idea borrowed from Chinese mythology, but there's plenty of ideas and terminology I had written down which is too blatant and probably wouldn't work for a Magic setting. Stuff like Vis, The Belonging Kind, Scub-Corals, Driders, etc.
I do like that weirdness, though. I might come back to it, either to continue building it, or at least to convert what little I have into a usable setting for the M:EM.
The alien perspective I was referring to was mostly about the lifespans and how much history was carried in the conversation. And sure, a lot of it can be seen as a parallel to human behavior, but that just means you managed to make it relatable even though that would not be a given. So overall I think you hit that balance well.
Now that this poll is officially over, it's time to congratulate Aaarrrgh for designing Hill, which has been decided by popular vote to be the Card of the Month for October 2013!
I think my favorite part of this is the sort of half-revealed history of the banishment of Ryxamahd. It's a cool little history that tells a lot about the world, and the relationship, if so you can call it, between Ryxamahd and Lady Caldwyn is equally telling. There's some exposition at the end that I'm not overly fond of, particularly the narrator calling almost casual attention to Bolga and her secret identity, but overall, as a glimpse of this world, this is good stuff.
I'm glad I was able to help direct you to the original purpose of this piece's creation!
The alien perspective I was referring to was mostly about the lifespans and how much history was carried in the conversation. And sure, a lot of it can be seen as a parallel to human behavior, but that just means you managed to make it relatable even though that would not be a given. So overall I think you hit that balance well.
Well, thank you, though I suppose I might quibble over the nomenclature; I like reserving the word "alien" for a much wider cultural gap, the kind of thing like... The best example I can think of that I've read recently is SCP 3003, which by concept is one of those if-the-universe-is-infinite-then-there-are-copies-of-Earth-out-there-in-space, but where the humans are hive-minded to the extreme. Classical stories of evil fairies from Celtic mythology come close -- where the culture of trickery is understandable from a human perspective -- but usually more whimsical and less truly bizarre.
I think my favorite part of this is the sort of half-revealed history of the banishment of Ryxamahd. It's a cool little history that tells a lot about the world, and the relationship, if so you can call it, between Ryxamahd and Lady Caldwyn is equally telling. There's some exposition at the end that I'm not overly fond of, particularly the narrator calling almost casual attention to Bolga and her secret identity, but overall, as a glimpse of this world, this is good stuff.
I'm glad I was able to help direct you to the original purpose of this piece's creation!
I don't think I had noticed it until you mentioned it, since it's obviously part of the falling action and wrap-up (as well as set-up for a plot that I suppose I must have imagined at one point), but that is rather obvious in how little it fits in with the rest of the story, isn't it? If I ever rewrite or expand upon this story, I might snip that paragraph out so that I can introduce Bolga properly, but I don't currently have plans on doing anything with this. Thanks for pointing that out, though, and of course thanks for your help jarring my memory.
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