Ol' Verdant Force was hopping around
Ravnica City like a big playground
When suddenly Jaya burst from the shade
And hit Best Fatty with Incinerate
The 'Verdant got pissed and began to attack,
But Blue-Whie Teferi Casted Out that fat hack,
And proceeded to press his Lake Ancient's assault
When Liliana Murdered the self-bouncing sod,
She failed, but she finished the job with discard,
Then, they all were Inferno'd by Jaya Ballard,
Who herself was saved by two Healing Salves,
But Mikaeus's thugs went back from their graves,
And Waterfront Bouncer was one of those guys
So he bounced Jaya to avenge his demise,
And because he was jealous of her as Spellshaper,
As Sorin zapped Cast Out with Anguished Unmaking.

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Magical Destiny!
Planeswalkers, spells, mana problems
As far as the eye can see!
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be?
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Magical Destiny!

Verdant Force took a bite out of a Phantom Tiger
As Manic Vandal bashed down a Whalebone Glider what a **** rhyme
Then Mikaeus came back, in third degree burns,
Just as Niv Mizzet started taking extra turns,
But the loop was prevented by a lucky Negate,
After which Goblin Hero readied out his Grenade,
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped -
The Death God Erebos lashed him with his whip.
Then he saw Verdant Force sneaking out from behind,
And he reached for kill spell, which he just couldn't find,
Because Gonti stole it, and he shot, and he missed,
And Lord Konda absorbed it with his fist,
Then he took a running start and he did a Mighty Leap,
As Mikaeus showed off his Flying Crane Technique,
Rushing at Lord Konda, and they collided in the air,
And then both got blinded by a Prism Array.

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Magical Destiny!
Planeswalkers, spells, mana problems
As far as the eye can see!
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be?
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Magical Destiny!

Squadron Hawk choir
Performed "MK Ultra",
As from the Heavens
Descended Mind Sculptor.
Who launched psychic blast,
Which could shatter a hivemind,
Into a brain of
The Hero of goblinkind,
Who blew himself up
In derilious glee,
As Gonti have feigned
A wound in his knee,
But Mind Sculptor saw
Through the Aetherborn's trick
And he banished him back
Into Aether's grip.


Then Kamahl the Green and Kamahl the Red,
And the Beastbreaker of Bala Ged,
And Adun Oakenshield,
And Genji of the Field,
And Tarmogoyf and Bellownig Fiend
Hornet Queen and Marit Lage,
Serra Angel and Wood Sage,
White Knight, Weatherlight,
Every single Riptide mage,
Ib Halfheart and Saffi Eriksdotter,
Bob, Spore Frog, and Hinterland Logger
All came out of nowhere, lightning fast,
And kicked Mind Sculptor in his OP ass!

It was the bloodiest battle the Multiverse saw,
With civilians looking on in total awe.
The fight raged on for a century.
Many lives were claimed, but eventually
The champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Squee the Immortal in a blood-stained sweater.

This is the Ultimate Showdown of Magical Destiny!
Planeswalkers, spells, mana problems
As far as the eye can see!
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be?
This is the Ultimate Showdown
This is the Ultimate Showdown
This is the Ultimate Showdown

Of Magical Destiny!

Finished.

/discuss

It's pretty funny. Squee is a good call for the ending joke, though I almost wish it was some junky legend that didn't have absolute staying power, like Isamaru or Saffi, or a generic, maybe Squire because Timeshifted gags. That said, I think it's fine as-is, Squee is at least recognizable.

This could probably be a better WAR plot, now that I think about it.

Yes!

Art.