By that logic, you could almost post anything in this thread.

Spellsnipe —
Instant (R)
Gain control of target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for it.

Slightly different in function to effects like Swerve in that anything that refers to "you" will refer to you instead of the person who played it.

I've posted something similar before, but this really does for into the realm of effects that for some reason haven't been printed yet:

Portalblast —
Instant
Exile target creature, then return it to the battlefield under your control with haste. At the beginning of the next end step, exile that creature and return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.
Whether he wanted to or not, Grok was forced to admit that he was beginning to think with portals.

pls stop

Whoops. I completely forgot that I already posted that in here...

Pitches the Force of Will, so it must be secretly op.

Thrasher Helliet
Creature - Hellion
Menace, haste
Even an adult hellion is a model of grace and patience compared to its offspring.
2/2

Pollute
Instant (U)
Destroy target creature, land or planeswalker

Close Encounters
Sorcery (U)
Target creature you control fights another target creature.
Target creature you control fights another target creature.
"Local scientists reported of a dramatically increased frequency of cases of mailmen severely biting guard dogs." - Night Vale*




(*The quote is **real, but not from Night Vale, but from a Russian modern fairy tale book called Prostokvashino.)




(**Was somewhat altered due to need to put punchline at the end of a long sentence, and English language being so awfully stingy with order of words in said sentence.)

That lets a creature kill something twice its size, or two creatures, because even if it takes lethal damage in the first fight, state based effects won't kill it till after the whole card resolves

Ravenous Branches

Sorcery
Choose one or both --
* Destroy target creature with flying, and/or
* Destroy target creature without flying.

That's kind of irrelevant considering that fight lets creatures with high power but low toughness become a two-card removal spell. If the creature kills something less than twice its power in terms of toughness stats, it would have to have a lot of toughness to survive that.

This breaks even card-advantage wise when paying the price of one creature.

Oky, so, f... MTG's rules, then ?!

IDK, maybe the card still should exist, just cost 1 more...

Nath's Decree —
Sorcery
Exile all creatures with unequal power and toughness.
"Inasmuch as Rhys has mingled among boggarts and kithkin, adopted their customs, and defiled our most sacred laws, he is hereby banished from Lys Alana. Perfects, see to it that he never sets foot in these woods again."

Was going to be destroy, but since Rhys was exiled, exile seemed more flavorful.

Spellsnatch —
Instant
Kicker
Counter target spell. If Spellsnatch was kicked, instead gain control of that spell and you may choose new targets for it.

Impact Snatcher —
Creature — Vedalken Wizard
1/3
Flash
Whenever a creature entering the battlefield causes an ability to trigger, gain control of that ability. You may choose new targets for it.

Growth Snatcher —
Creature — Elf Warrior Shaman
2/2
Flash
If an instant or sorcery spell would increase another creature's power and/or toughness until end of turn, that spell increases Growth Snatcher's power and/or toughness until end of turn instead.

Privileged Information
Sorcery (C)
Each player draws two cards, then each opponent discards two cards.
Just because you know the facts doesn't mean you know the truth.

Mind Crumble
Sorcery
Target player exiles two cards from his or her hand.

I'm imagining an art whereby some kind of classical building edifice is sticking out of someone's forehead and crumbling away

Creature
Vigilance
1/2

Concentrate or Careful Consideration? You decide.

Ultimate Edict

Sorcery
Target player sacrifices all creatures he or she controls.

Full Restore

Sorcery
Your life total becomes equal to your starting life total.

Sapphire Prowler (U)

Creature -- Drake
3/2
Flying

Whimper of the Frail

Instant
Destroy all token creatures.

Spell Dissection

Instant
Counter target spell. If it is countered this way, draw three cards.