Maybe Virgil's seen him.

He uploaded a selfie to his Facebook page. I think he's doing okay.

Damn. I look good!

So I didn’t get a chance to play last night but I squeezed in a match against the ai before my dental appointment. I ended up losing (no Pia’s and a light bit of flooding) and rematching. Got the ai on the second go thanks to Pia’s Revolution and the comp’s stupid decisions around that card (“does this do direct damage to me? No? Eh, he can have it back then”). I prolly gained about 20 life off of Filigree Familiar but still was below 8 life for most of the match. I think I’m starting to get an idea of why BB and Soup aren’t super duper excited about playing this build. It almost made me late for my dental appointment. I think I enjoyed getting that filling done more than I did the ai match.

High praise!

DCG's Methodical Construction Review, per Flaky:
"Almost as much fun as a visit to the dentist!"

Yeah, that's about right.

Ok testing begins
First methodical abortion vs ia
Vs dimir
Why would anyone play implement of examination???!!!?!?!?!?!?
Ok not so bad. The ia didn't play anything but a couple of removals I eat the board with pias revolution 2 EC and one Spy network.
12 thopters on the air and 4 metallic rebuke on hand seals the deal
Macarena next... and that song is melting my brains damn you Flaky!
Big win vs jeskai tokens
Two swings with one 13/16 flyer did the job
MVP sigil
Thopter prowess next
Vs izzet ... something
Win
MVP fevered visions, start your engines FTW!
Grixvolution
Win vs gruul -1/-1 counters
Mvp: fireweaver, sovereign FTW
I will continue tomorrow all decks have performed but havens does feel more resourceful.
Lets see hoe they do on the ladder.

So, game 1 vs 4c Buddies. I’m 2nd and have a soso hand. I play Map t1 and use it to improvise a Rebuke on opp’s Caravan and then drop one of the two Implement of Paying 4 Mana for 2 Cards in my hand on t3. I’m debating whether to play TSN or Construction on my next turn when opp drops Nahiri. I look at Nahiri. Then I look at TSN and EC. Then I quit like a little bioch. Its like trying to kayak up Niagra Falls and actually starting to make a little progress but then someone suddenly rips the paddle out of your hands. And then rips your hands off of your arms. And then sets the kayak on fire. Life’s too short for that s—-.

Game 2 vs Temur Energy. On the play again, I make a dubious decision to risk a 1-lander with Map, Rebuke, Disintegration, 2 Pia’s, and a Vial. My first 2 topdecks and the card I get off of Vial don’t yield any lands but I still get one on t3. Unfortunately its a 2nd island. And then I get a third. Opp gets an early Longtusk Cub followed by Refiner and Greenbelt Rampager. I drop a Familiar t3 to try to discourage his Refiner but he hits it with an Aether Meltdown. His Rampager uses up just enough energy to keep his Longtusk from growing out of Lighting Ax range so I zap it (discarding one of the Pia’sand leave up Rebuke. He takes me to 10 and passes. I play the other Pia’s and then Vial his Refiner. He takes me to 7. I finally land a black mana and nuke his Rampager. He tries to play another one but Rebuke shuts him down (he’s been stuck at 3 mana all game). But I do go to 4. I Radiant Flames his Refiner. He plays another Cub. I punt it to the Moon and Rebuke his Glimmer of Genius. At this point I’m out of answers and on a land streak. I get a Construction and play it. He plays Hydra. I top a land. He takes me to zero.

At least the dentist uses novocaine...

Haven's deck goes 5-2. Lots of fun to play, though I feel like that record was at least partially aided by superior topdeck luck. I think it's a really successful take on the Revolution in duels, and I did get some use of it those Requisitioner, so well built Haven! Remaining game logs.

3. ‎Win vs Orzhov Zombies. Another narrow escape. Slow start with just a Harvester to P&K, while they go Cryptbreaker Wayward Servant. Cryptbreaker and then Death's Majesty has them outtokening me, but I play it careful, pop Cryptbreaker with a Disintegration and knock out lily quick with that damage plus a swing from harvester. Start trading a map and thopters for zombies, until Dark salvation takes out the Mr & Mrs. I get a copter to join harvester, but then knock out the last of my creatures to crew. I find a Revolution and then Implement my way into a Vial, into Fireweaver. They stop paying the cost to the Revolution, so I can slow them down with that vial, tie down some flying demon and swoop in copter style to finish. Super topdeck skills to survive this one.
4. ‎Win vs Gruul slow beats. Double Fireweaver, copter, touched map on the play is plenty against their green Monument, samut & arlinn kord.
5. ‎Lose vs 5c goodstuff ramp? I assume there are planeswalkers they just never played? I got all the pieces here, early Ballista with maps and Trawler in hand, and drawing into Revolution. But they had a tracker and a Bellower that saged the Trawler, and got those in for some damage before I Nalaared away the tracker. Then they hit an awakened planar outburst, and followed that with another then next turn, and that was enough.
6. ‎Lose vs Simic Turbofog. Had a T2 Fireweaver and a Trawler in hand, probably my best hope here, but stuck at 4 land for most of the game and couldn't get stuff out fast enough to ping them away.
7. ‎Win vs Abzan Trials. Huge turnaround, they go off quick with Herald, blood-cursed knight, double trials of strength and ambition, Sigil of the Empty Throne and From Beyond. I manage to survive long enough to get down Chandra and wipe the board, and they've played out their hand. I think at that point I'm at 3 (and they're at 33), with a Revolution and a Harvester in play. Get a Ballista and a servo schematic, gain a little life back from the Harvester and get an Inventors' Fair to help too. The Ballista is key cause it can control the from beyond tokens and ping in response to any Cartouche to keep all those dormant Trials on the board. I get it up to five to level the same threat at any angel tokens that pop up. I find a Fireweaver and sac the Fair for a Trawler to start the graveyard dance, just in time cause they get a second From Beyond, and those tokens start to pile up (are they really playing double From Beyond with no ulamog? Seems like it, he would have crushed me). Spike a second Fireweaver, and now I've got access to two Ballista, two implements and a vial. Take my big Ballista to their face and then just start pitching them for free (5 damage each, between the weavers and the revolution). Glorious.

That's a pretty good run nomad, with more or less the same consistency I got with it. It feels like it has the tools to deal with most problems (except Ulamog) and can take a beating and come back. I'm quite satisfied with how it turned out and that Requisitioner although not awesome, can at least pull its weight and isn't a dead card most of the time.

My Thopter Prowess goes 4-3, pretty frustrating draws for a couple of those. I think this needs more work for consistency; I removed maybe too many of the prowess guys, and the curve may be too high now to support the Fevered Visions/Jori En draw engine. It's still really fun when it works, but I think my Simic build is probably better.

1. Win vs Grixis Mill. Mulligan to 6. Vehicles do the work here. They get their T3 Tutelage, but have no answers to Harvesters and a Cruiser. They do a good job wiping out my pilots, but I finish them off when I get down Construction to supply a steady stream of crew.
2. ‎Lose vs Black Zombies. Mulligan to five and no creatures, hope I see enough land to play this construction. I do, but it's through a map and comes a turn too late, and they've already gone too wide to handle.
3. ‎Lose vs Esper Zombies. More mana trouble, and I'm beginning to regret submitting this one over the Simic version. Opp has 2 wayward servants, lord, flip lily and mastery, and I still have 3 land when I die.
4. Win vs Boros Amonkhet exert aggro package. Look ma, land and creatures! Copter, engineer, Fireweaver, Bomat, Start Your Engines for the win. They have a Gust Walker and Trial of Zeal and Crop Mate and that's not enough.
5. ‎Win vs Dimir Mill. Is it National Mill Day or something? I've got that sweet Weaver Engineer Copter action, along with Saheeli and Chandra. He tries a Death's Majesty to slow me down, to which I say "eat a hasty Skysovereign, lady." Buncha power cards over here, yup.
6. ‎Win vs Orzhov zombies. They get stuck without black mana for a bit, and I'm happy to kick them with fevered visions while they're down. Once they get swamps and start going wide, I still have ways to go for the kill. I opt for Saheeli to double a Fireweaver, send out a suicidal Cruiser, crew it with everyone before it dies and follow up with Throne.
7. ‎Lose vs 4c Answers to All My ****. Let's try going fast on the play. Bomat, Copter, Fireweaver. Courier gets saged. Play a Chandra that gets an anguished unmaking, then they essence Flux the sage to kill copter too. Get out a construction, they go tezzeret and push the Fireweaver, disperse the sage and replay to kill the Construction. I play a Stormchaser mage, that gets a Noxious Gearhulk. I draw a bunch of land and a Map, they kill me. That was probably very satisfying for them.

Methodical Construction game 3 vs Kolorless Krapp:
I know I’m in for a bad game when I see the Emrakul avatar so I grit my teeth (lightly, that filling is starting to hurt now) and brace myself for... Sunscorched Deserts? Opp goes first and pings me with 2 of those deserts on turns 1 and 2 and Caravan on T3. I play Map, nada, and Familiar on my first 3 turns. Then opp drops Fleetwheel. I take the hit rather than chump because I don’t have any removal and am worried that I might need to get a token and double block it to get rid of it. Then I top Disintegration. I play Construction and he plays his own Familiar and swings again. I chump for the card and play Vial, leaving up mana for Disintegration. He plays Matter Reshaper and swings with Cruiser and Caravan. I chump Caravan and Disintegrate his Cruiser. Then I play TSN and Implement of Combustion. He plays Smugglers and Harvester and swings with his Caravan but I chump it. I swing with a thopter and play Radiant Flames. His Reshaper reveals a Smasher but I’ve got another Disintegration in hand. He plays Smasher and I crack my Implement to draw a land which I discard to Smasher so that Disintegration can save the day. I drop Pia’s and another Combustion. Opp plays another Filigree and a Eldrazi Mimic and crews his airforce. I sac Vial to keep Harvester from attacking so he uses it to crew Caravan (I’m more concerned about him gaining life than the chumpable damage). I take the hit from Smug but chump Caravan and sac my Implement to draw an extra card at eot. I get a Construction. Play Construction and swing for 1 plus a card. I play Implement of Examination and pass. He crews and swings. I chump and he gains life. Then he plays another Reshaper. I crack Examination and draw Imprisoned in the Moon and another Examination. Then I top a Lightning Axe. I swing for 2 and get Rebuke (bleh). Opp has an Abbey down and I’m a little worried he’ll crew and then sac to flip it but Imprisoned makes me feel better. He’d gain life but lose his board and I’d be able to mop up. But he has other plans. He taps out to play Ballista with 3 counters. Thank Shufflah for that Rebuke! He crews and I crack Implement for some fodder to drop to Axe and burn out his Harvester. He quits. Yay!

That sounds... Competent?

@Nomad: I agree. I haven’t played any of your builds yet but the Simic one looked the coolest to me on paper. It has a nice clean and focused strategy that really emphasizes the build around card. I borrowed heavily from it with my build but they are still quite distinct so it would have been fun to compare them.

Full mental Jacket Vs ia Jeskai Tokens
They start fast with priest and that RW 3/2 that pumps everyone while attacking, I t3 touch a copter and start attacking.
They keep dropping creatures so I drop 2 Inspector + Esperzoa + chief and a vial, I chump block his board and a fatal push takes care of his MVP while my Copter and Esperzoa kills them in the air.
---
I think I will not be able to play more games today but I´m looking forward to test the Barney´s sudden death trials.
I will cast EC and the Requisitioner whenever I can so may the Jank be with you!

Ok Guys I had one hour at lunch to squeeze some games
Lets get over that methodical abortion

Vs R38 golgari goodstuff
T1 map T2 vial T3 we pass with a rebuke on hand they cast Nissa we say no, then we chop kalitas with axe, we drop EC and start building board, we rebuke gritog and keep dropping those horrible blue implements... they are desperate so they fatal push a thopter... cast a bone picker then drop the Greenwarden to fetch Gritog but it is to late I got 10 thopters in the air and 3EC... believe it or not we won!


Revolution next
Vs r37 gruul energy with dynabolt towers
T1 map t2 fireweaver t3 revolution
They pass and cast t3 t4 dynabolt
They kill 2 fireweavers but the trafficker feeds from
Implements maps and vials to seal the deal.
Win!
no pic for this one... sry Haven

Macarena next
-----
Ok so I'm at this fantastic school event where they make your kid dance the most horrendous songs of all time, and some sick teacher actually chooses the freaking Macarena for their students!! - yes I haven't heard that abomination for years but this week that crap is everywhere- I laughed so hard that people actually turned to look at me while I felt bits of my brain dripping from my ear...

I guess is time to hit the ladder with it and hopefully loose
Damn we won!
Vs rank 40 a guy called witching hour/ good player have faced him lots of times
He is playing esper mill, and I can feel his desperation while I keep dancing the Macarena with the grid... he had two tutelage on board but all his removal was dead on him coz we played no creatures... bizarre win. Poor guy he rage quit 1 turn before the end It took me 2 more minutes to actually kill him.
EDIT: Grid and Key of the city are a great combo!!
One more


Thopters next
Huge gamble on my part I kept two fevered visions, Vs R38 white wennies with Oketra mini mall... it was so close but we blocked their flipped Gideon with Harvester preventing lethal, then we swing big time with start your engines FTW!! It felt great!


Let's close r1
Next full metal jacket
Vs R 38 esper control
I drop t2 ballista with touch in hand but played around a blessed alliance that never came I avoided solo missions he drops Gideon little jace and counters my inspector and teperete touch, we fatal push baby jace to lure another counter once he is tapped we dropped Padeem and started gaining card advantage, he drops Linvala but we responded with the demon couple of turns later we kill Gideon and cast EC with two chiefs on board making the thopters 3/3!

Prowess Thopters

Versus 1 - Loser! Hey, you know what works surprisingly well? Aven Wind Guide and Inexorable Blob. I know that because I got to watch helplessly as they did their dirty business right in my face while I sat there with 4 mana like a sucker.
Versus 2 - I am counting this one as a victory! My opponent had Mechanized Production on a clue with an Erdwahl Illuminator, a Tireless Tracker, and that ghost Bishop guy. During my final attack phase, I had a Reckless Fireweaver, a Thopter Engineer and her pet thopter. He had 8 clues, it on my turn, I laid down the Skysovereign, shooting the Bygone Bishop. I would have crewed the Skysovereign with the Aethersphere Harvester, then used my two other chumps to crew the Fleetwheel Cruiser. Eliminate one of his two remaining creatures and he suffers 6 in the sky, plus 2 from Trample and he is at 7. I win.

EXCEPT!!! Except he logs put and my game freezes until the time runs down, forcing me to combat, but even when I pause, I am not able to crew my goddamn vehicles! Combat doesn’t even let me assign attackers, and I am forced to pass the turn. Then the game freezes as his Mech Prod makes the doomsday clue. Utter bullpoop and I am am claiming the victory from lordsquall86, even if I lost a rank.

Finishing rank 27

Versus 3 - Victory! It’s nice to be able to cast a Skysovereign, do its damage, then attack with it right away with the Thopter Engineer, return it to my hand for the Esperzoa, cast it again, do its damage and attack with it right away. Finishing rank 28
Versus 4 - Victory! Thopter Engineer really is an MVP in this deck. Ince she’s out, it really makes the whole deck pop. Finishing rank 29.
Versus 5 - Victory! Start Your Engines provided me win, animating my Snugglecopter and the Fleetwheel Cruiser, and buffing up my Bomat Courier. T5 win for the win!

So, 4 out of 5 rounds, if you discount cheaters cheating. This deck was also fun to play, even though I don’t recall seeing the break-a-card too often.

yeah thopter engineer is a total blast with that deck. Start Your Engines can be fun but it's pretty situational (like Insult/Injury, which I think is much much better).

It's hard to decide what the better T3 play is if you're holding up a Skysoverign, is it Thopter Engineer or Foundry Inspector?

Mostly depends how soon you need to kill something, I suppose. I'd rather hold it back and go hasty if I think I might see a planeswalker.

Flaky, I'm testing yours and I think the land is broken. Need another couple mountains, or even just tap lands. I know you're trying to work with triple blue, but I keep sitting around behind a bunch of walls waiting for red to show up so I can do something.

Grixvolutions

Versus 1 - Victory! Pretty easy victory despite never going above 4 mana, and never seeing any blue mana. Finishing rank 31.
Versus 2 - Loser! Lost in a decent race against what appeared to be a boros vehicles deck (though I never saw a single vehicle, just pilots). All hasty nonsense, and I just didn’t get the draws I needed to keep up. Finishing rank 30.
Versus 3 - Loser! Thermo-Alchemist? Weaver of Lightning? I haven’t seen that combo since it first came out, but it works very well with cards like Insult//Injury. Weaver, particularly is effective thopter pest control. Finishing rank 29.
Versus 4 - Loser! I lost, but I had a lot of fun playing this match. The opponent was a blue/colourless eldrazi deck. It was a good race, and I love the combo of Pia’s Revolving Door, Reckless Fireweaver, and Walking Ballista. Drop the ballista as a 0/0, triggers Pia’s and either does damage, or I get it back, Fireweaver does his damage, drop the Ballista again, lather, rinse, repeat. Had the opponent at 1 but a dispersal has in the last inning lost me the game. Finishing rank 28 (which you’ll notice is getting farther away from 40).
Versus 5 - Loser! No answers to Rise from the Tides meant that my sole servo and big Touched Alchemist’s Vial just couldn’t stop those soggy zombies. Finishing rank 27.

As fun as this deck was to play, at 1-5-0, I’m afraid this deck will be baleted!

This has been such a successful contest (congrats Flaky) what with the discussion and all the testing and DCG's excellent troll contribution which has still caused me to have sleep problems.

I feel like it deserves an excellent 6-second vine to celebrate: