9-4 with the deck since posting, or 8-3 if you discount win to Opp mull to 3 -> quit and massive punt -> loss by me. I was originally considering a Commit in place of the fourth Rebuke, which would make the Superfriends matchup less dismal. In my limited testing before, Memory was also nice once sufficiently ahead on lands from cantrips.

One thing that made me laugh out loud was when an opponent paused the game for ages when I played a Requisitioner and then did absolutely nothing.

It must have been a "what the f@ck does that card do?" and "why the hell is this guy playing that crap?" type moment.

I’m really looking forward to those moments

Ok I’ve played them all against the AI except for Methodical Construction. They were all really strong but Flakys deck is a nightmare to play. It takes soooo long to tap everything. I really hope it loses its first match against a real player so I can tear it up. I hate it

It’s strong though

Ok methodical construction won against AI too. This is the first time all decks beat the AI. Well done boys. Mechanical construction was way less annoying to play than I thought it would be. I enjoyed it. Flakys deck is the only one I hate initially. I suspect that both Flakys deck and Mécha construction will cause concessions from opponents who won’t want to sit through the mess

Yeah, DCG’s comment that you sigged perfectly describes my build, too. Hopefully you’ll get at least a little sadistic enjoyment out of it when playing vs real people. Imagine how awful it would be to lose to! Like, “G*!F’ingD@mm!t this guy SUUUUCKS! Just WIN FFS!!”

When I was testing it, I went up against this white deck that got Angelic Destiny on a 3/2 and was walking all over me while I was setting up. I had a Skygate but didn’t want to chump with it right away so I took a hard hit. Then he surprised me with a Declaration on Skygate and the white Trial and smacked me hard, taking me to 1. That was the last time he did any damage to me. I got double Construction, Grid, and a steady stream of artifacts. And then, like 48 turns later, I finally get Aggregate followed by Sigil. I’d barely done any damage to him cuz I was focused on managing his board and staying alive. Suddenly I’m swinging for big and he just hangs for a minute and a half on the blockers step. If I had any class at all I would have conceded at that moment to gift him the coins. But nah.

I did lose the first game on the ladder with it, tho. Kept a 4 lander and drew 5 more lands over the next 6 turns.

Yeah they are both great troll decks

Ok here we go round one playtesting for real!

Let’s start with nomads thopter prowess...ugh first game went super long. I got five creatures against UWG deck with westvale abbey and throne. I’m at 3 life he’s at 11. We both have five creatures. Really hard match and then I get disconnected, it could have gone either way so I won’t count it.

Tried again big win vs URB 1-0

Time for haven...big win against azorious aggro. I was able to set up. Text touch on Ballista bought me a ton of time 1-0

I’ll take a break for now

And we’re back... Cucho up next...hope to squeeze in a few games before taking Emily to Six Flags...big win versus Orzhov Control. 1-0

Oh no it’s time for the Macarena, oh boy big win thanks to two fevered visions. Tough deck to play. 1-0

That’s it for now, methodical production later...

Ok here we go, finishing round one with dcgs deck...Jesus h... that game took an hour. I was up against WGU superfriends. I get set up with three enchantments and tons of artifacts and he plays tragic arrogance. I rebuild, he plays another, I get five thopter out and he plays planar outburst. I have no answers against his hexproof trampled and can’t get enough damage going to deal with four planeswalkers. I get down to 7 cards in library before he finally kills me. What an absolute nightmare. I had nothing against enchantments as he had three cast outs on me. Awful. I felt like I had zero win conditions. Worst deck of this contest. Absolutely gets last place for me and I couldn’t be happier to delete this thing and never play it again. My only saving grace is knowing that Soup is going to play with this abortion. 0-1. BELETED . Oh, the guy was rank 1 btw


Round two, four decks remain...

Let’s start with Macarena...absolutely massacres against rank 39 Simic. Deck is just way too slow 1-1. Only eliminated if one other deck wins this round...

Next is Cuchos full metal jacket...great win versus GW auras. 2-0. This means I can delete Macarena , whe
Ok I’ll stop there for tonight. I’m too tired from that earlier long match

Second to be eliminated twice in a row?! Gah! I can’t even earn the distinction of being the worst. Just all around meh-ness...

'Tis a feature, not a bug.



So I win then? My deck embodies Efficient Construction if nothing else - the soul crushing, "Why does this even exist?" aspect of it.

he's got a point

Got a set in with Cucho's, featuring a surprise appearance by (and loss to) Cucho himself! 5-2, pretty good deck, but not all that much Thopter action in my matches. Definitely more of a Touch deck with the Constructions as backup. Success tends to revolve around one big piece at a time, which is fine against stuff like Grasp and red removal, but I think tends to make it vulnerable to planeswalkers.

1: Win vs W/G/colorless goodstuff. Touched harvester makes things unfair until it trades with a Skysovereign. Then the second touch on it makes things doubly unfair till I win.
2. Win vs White Weenie. On the draw, and they start quick with kytheon and freeblade. Tezzy Touches a map to slow things down, but they kill it with Collective Effort. Some tense moments ensue before I spike a Skysovereign. That pings kytheon before he flips, then wins me the game as I start picking up planeswalkers behind it.
3. ‎Win vs Grixis Mill. This one comes really close. They're running draw and removal but no counters, so an early lily draws a lot of fire but eventually pulls my Herald out of the yard. They put a mechanized production on an alchemists vial though, so it can only crew a copter. It's Walking Ballista that eventually puts me over the top, attacking and then pinging for the last 4 damage the turn before I get decked.
4. ‎Win vs a mountain. Opponent plays a mountain. Eventually they also play an Aether Hub and a Harnessed Lightning to last an extra turn, but most of the game they just hang out with that mountain. I Touch my copter for all 20 damage.
5. ‎Lose vs 4c Superfriends. Start with a Scrounger, but the throw up two Primal Druids that win them the game. With the ramp it's big Jace, big Nissa, baby lily, rec sage, Tamiyo, Noxious Gearhulk. Yeah, that'll do it.
6. Lose vs Cucho! Playing UWG tempo friends. Push an early Tracker, then I'm battling with Herald against Tamiyo and Gideon. Tamiyo keeps me tapped down while Gideon swings in, but at least Herald is wrecking his hand. Find a Harvester + Touch, but make a huge mistake blocking Selfless Spirit, and compound that by being unable to register a lifelink activation anyway. Not sure I could have come back, but still super frustrating.
7. Win vs rakdos aggro. Early Lily slows them down. They spend a bunch of time and resources knocking her out while I set up double Construction. Then the only thing they can do is Harnessed Lightning an Esperzoa while I'm over here flipping a Prince. Easy.

Congrats on winning against a mountain!

Man, I can’t WAIT for Soup to play with DCGs deck

That was fun indeed.. sadly you where not able to resolve a EF. To be fair with the deck I could only get around that demon with a team effort of Gideon and Tamiyo which is a nightmare scenario. IME the flying aspect of the deck with esperzoa, copter, harvester and sovereign is a huge pain in the ass for walkers.
But yes the deck got a lot more aggressive with tezzeret touch and can ofter end the game before you can profit the EC. If you happen to resolve it you can push a stalled board with chief of the foundry to pump your army of topters.

The build around deck for Tezzerets touch is called full morning jacket.
I'm disappointed that Barney didn't figure it out...

So it went more or less like this?
http://nellucnhoj.com/image/166607410892

Methodical Construction

AI Hard 1 - Loser! But kind of only barely? I was well behind on mana, and couldn’t get to 4 mana for several rounds, which really hampered my ability to do anything but hold off the AI. When I was down to 2 life, I finally got my set built with Pia’s Revolution, Eff. Con. and some implements. Two Thopter Spy Networks sadly sat in my hands. I felt like I was about to stabilize at 2 when the AI cast Heaven and crushed my hopes and dreams.
AI Hard 2 - Loser! This one is on me. I made a dumb mistake on T4, putting down a Drowned Catacomb, not realizing I hadn’t put down an island, yet. That one mistake delayed my first Thopter Spy Network, thus the next, etc. It was one simple, dumb mistake from which there was no return, so I’ll give this one a third go against the AI for fairness’ sake.
AI Hard 3 - Loser! Mana flood... not a fair shake, either. This is an unprecedented call for a fourth AI match before I subject myself to the ladder.
AI Hard 4 - Victory! I stabilized at 3 life with Pia’s Revolving Door and 2 Efficient Contractions on the board. With 3 red Implements, 2 Renegade Maps, and 2 Alchemist’s Vials in my hand, it took maybe three turns to generate almost 30 thopters, which ended the game pretty decisively.

At basically 50/50 for legitimate AI matches, we head next into the ladder and I prepare to kiss my delicious ranks goodbye.

Versus 1 - Loser! Not able to outrace a white weenie deck. Finishing rank 34.
Versus 2 - Loser! Sandwurm Goddamn Convergence. You know what? That one was just emotionally exhausting. My iPad is at 6% so, I’m taking a break. Fudging, blinging flanging Sandwurm ruddy convergence... I died to a blocking mistake because my youngest kid distracted me, but I was at 8 cards left in my library and coming up with no answers, so there was no realistic way to turn it around. Finishing rank 33.
Versus 3 - Loser! Okay, this deck is also not able to deal with Shadows of the Past. Shadows of the fudge-rumping Past! Thankfully, my opponent never even got a chance to do much with his Cruel Reality. I’m seeing a trend here with weakness to enchantments. Finishing rank 32
Versus 4 - Loser! T5 defeat to a hasty black and red combo. Guys, if I’m being honest, I’m not looking forward to Versus 5. I feel like this is going to go poorly. Finishing rank 31.
Versus 5 - Loser! What a surprise! I thought for sure my luck was about to change, said soupcannon thoroughly sarcastically. Although dying at T6 is technically an improvement over the last match. Finishing rank 30.

Okay, DCG, we have never met, but I feel like I’ve offended you somehow. To be honest, I don’t care how I upset you. I hope you get a cold sore. This was so utterly painful that I can only recommend this deck if you’re looking for a reason to quit Magic Duels.

I also hope he gets a cold sore, but not before I make love to his face. I can’t believe you played nine games with that thing

I lol’d at versus 4, exactly the type of reactions I was hoping you’d have. You’re a saint for playing nine games with that. 0-5 , great record and you should take pride that, for once, it’s not pilot error

It’s like Soup and I are test pilots for NASA and they give us a plane with no wings to test-fly. God bless Soup for piloting that thing to the end of the runway five times before we throw the engineer into a nearby swamp

To be fair, I warned you that said plane had no wings. I suppose I also could've mentioned the single point failure in the fuel transfer that means you're likely to crash even if you get off the ground. Oops.

Yup I went into it with my new sigline and everything. Sometimes even cancer surprises you with how bad it can be. What an adventure for me. Staring down planeswalkers with 14 loyalty tokens and I can’t do anything. A rank 1 probably crapping his pants that he’s in full control against this rank 40 playing weird cards for some reason

Im starting to the think Soup falsified his records. It’s like reading a book report where you suspect the guy didn’t read the book. « Peter Pan was an excellent origin story for everyone’s favourite peanut butter. »

I was contemplating improving the deck with the planeswalkers and shenanigans that I left out originally, but I'm pretty sure this one just needs to be taken behind the barn.

Ok here we go, back to playtesting round two

Haven is up...big win against heavy Orzhov control. Got out double réquisitionnées after a languish and went super wide. No idea who to touch. 2-0

Thopter prowess next...up against RWG ans he gets out t4 Brisela. I get 24 cards deep and still not a single removal spell. He gets out Samut so now he can untap for defence. I got him down to 2 life tons of times with a huge fleet but could never finish him off. I just needed a single removal spell. Very frustrating. I may have misplayed by not flipping Abbey but it felt like a blessed alliance was lurking. Anyway ties Flaky for second-to-last place, 1-1. Really frustrating too, I swung early for 28 with Start Your Engines and still couldn’t kill him, using Vial to prevent Brisela too, ridiculous

Round three with only two decks left!! Cucho vs Haven! Battle of the red mages! Will haven have back to back wins or will Cucho get his day in the sun? Let’s see... after these important messages...

And we’re back, starting with Havens Grixvolutiins...amazing win versus Golgari landfall lifegain. 3-0

Cucho is up, do or die...omg what a hard match against Radkos sac/steal. Nightmare. I stupid’y Don’t play Lilly early why ch could have killed Bloodflow Connaiseur. Instead, he steals my guys and feeds them to her to make her 6/6 and I’m at 3 life and he’s at 26, not good. I top deck fatal push with a map to crack thank goodness. I get Out herald and sky ship and touch a copter after he killed two of my planeswalkers. He gets really tricky with Yaheeni but I play smart and eek out a win. 3-0!

Round four! Two decks still remain, were in the finals now

I’ll start with Cucho this time...

"breaking bad" is the expression that keeps popping into my head for this round. I guess that none of the decks actually Broke the cards, but rather tailored some decks that allow them to be somewhat playable, which would be about as good as they get.
Dcg went 1 step further and attempted to make a bad card his only win-con. A brave move, but as Barney and Soup's dismall experiences show, that's not really gonna work out.
Probably should have gone for an infinte combo like the list I posted. At least going infinite can provide a moderate degree of fun.