ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

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Mown

Post subject: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 5:09 am

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Subconscious Scavenger

Creature — Horror
When ~ enters the battlefield, gain control of target creature.
Do not drift lost in thought, lest you get pulled into the abyss.
5/5

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ParadOxymoron wrote:

you're like the kind of person who would cast Necropotence irl

Last edited by Mown on Tue May 09, 2017 5:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Mata Hari

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 5:12 am

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Joined: Sep 27, 2013
Posts: 3389

I discovered yesterday that there is no such thing as

White Card [cost with :w:

in it]
Instant
Destroy all attacking creatures.

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purplebackpack89

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 9:16 am

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There's also no mono-green creature tutor that doesn't do anything else.

Primal Tutor

Sorcery (U)
Search your library for a creature card, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.

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purplebackpack89 wrote:

Is it just me, or does Bruse Tarl look like an 1890s Barnum circus strongman who'd hawk strength tonic patent medicines on the side?

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AzureShade

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 9:26 am

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Joined: Sep 22, 2013
Posts: 7801

purplebackpack89 wrote:

There's also no mono-green creature tutor that doesn't do anything else.

Primal Tutor

Sorcery (U)
Search your library for a creature card, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.

I mean, there's Worldly Tutor....but I guess you want it to go to the hand instead of drawing it later?

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magicpablo666 wrote:

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in an thread with GM_Champion" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against AzureShade when card design is on the line!"

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LilyStorm

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 9:29 am

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Joined: Sep 23, 2013
Posts: 14004
Identity: Chaoslight
Preferred Pronoun Set: She

Eldamaris call or whatever

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altimis wrote:

I never take anytihng Lily says seriously, except for when I take it personally. Then it's personal.

WotC_Ethan wrote:

People, buy more stuff.
#WotCstaff

Spoiler

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Mata Hari

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 9:30 am

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Joined: Sep 27, 2013
Posts: 3389

LilyStorm wrote:

Eldamaris call or whatever

He said monogreen you dolt

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LilyStorm

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 10:04 am

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Joined: Sep 23, 2013
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Identity: Chaoslight
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Green has color fixing so every color can be monogreen right?

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altimis wrote:

I never take anytihng Lily says seriously, except for when I take it personally. Then it's personal.

WotC_Ethan wrote:

People, buy more stuff.
#WotCstaff

Spoiler

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purplebackpack89

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 11:17 am

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Joined: Oct 10, 2015
Posts: 3569
Location: California
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Resolute Troops

Creature-Human Soldier (C)
Vigilance
1/1

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purplebackpack89 wrote:

Is it just me, or does Bruse Tarl look like an 1890s Barnum circus strongman who'd hawk strength tonic patent medicines on the side?

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UselessCommon

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 11:20 am

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Joined: Sep 28, 2016
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UselessCommon wrote:

Blast It !

Instant (U)
Blast It ! deals 4 damage to a target creature or player.

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nice quotes from this forum

War of the spark will have so many Planeswalkers, they won't even be planeswalking anymore.

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Mown

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 3:21 pm

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We're not going through every permutation of different burn spells. Lightning Blast is a red instant that deals 4.

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[Warchief] Custom EDH Project

ParadOxymoron wrote:

you're like the kind of person who would cast Necropotence irl

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Mown

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 4:05 pm

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Reconnoiter

Sorcery
Draw a card for each creature you control that dealt damage to an opponent this turn.
Secrets are best stolen.

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[Warchief] Custom EDH Project

ParadOxymoron wrote:

you're like the kind of person who would cast Necropotence irl

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CommanderJim

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 4:24 pm

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Joined: Oct 09, 2013
Posts: 7454
Location: Mountain View
Preferred Pronoun Set: he/him

Sylvan Growth

Sorcery (U)
Search your library for a land card and put that card onto the battlefield tapped. Then shuffle your library.

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ParadOxymoron wrote:

if someone said this about me i'd make it my signature

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Mown

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 6:05 pm

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Encroaching Borders

Enchantment
When ~ enters the battlefield, search your library for a basic land card, then reveal it and put it into your hand. Shuffle your library afterwards.
You may play an additional land card during each of your turns.

this might be slightly advanced for the criteria, but it seems like two effects that should coexist by now

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[Warchief] Custom EDH Project

ParadOxymoron wrote:

you're like the kind of person who would cast Necropotence irl

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Cato

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 6:22 pm

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Joined: Sep 23, 2013
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Preferred Pronoun Set: 0, 1

Exquisite Firecraft is basically that, but sorcery speed and with conditional uncounterability.

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Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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purplebackpack89

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Wed May 10, 2017 12:19 pm

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Joined: Oct 10, 2015
Posts: 3569
Location: California
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Massive Disappearance

Instant (R)
Exile all creatures, then return them to the battlefield under their owner's control.

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purplebackpack89 wrote:

Is it just me, or does Bruse Tarl look like an 1890s Barnum circus strongman who'd hawk strength tonic patent medicines on the side?

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Knifethrower

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Wed May 10, 2017 4:30 pm

Member

Joined: Sep 23, 2013
Posts: 1105

Nature's Course

Instant
Choose 1-
Search your library for a basic land card and put it on to the battlefield tapped. Shuffle your library.
or
Destroy target artifact or enchantment.

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BelangiaJo

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Wed May 10, 2017 5:50 pm

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Joined: May 18, 2015
Posts: 4749
Preferred Pronoun Set: he/him

Gideon, Child at Heart -

Planeswalker - Gideon | MR
[+1]: Create a 1/1 white Soldier creature token. You gain 1 life.
[ 0 ]: Until end of turn, Gideon, Child at Heart becomes a 2/2 Human Soldier creature with indestructible that's still a planeswalker. Prevent all damage that would be dealt to him this turn.
[-6]: You get an emblem with "Creatures you control have first strike, lifelink, indestructible, and vigilance."
{2}

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Mata Hari

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Wed May 10, 2017 5:58 pm

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Joined: Sep 27, 2013
Posts: 3389

I don't think anybody's surprised that card doesn't exist though.

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BelangiaJo

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Wed May 10, 2017 6:05 pm

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Joined: May 18, 2015
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Gideon is.

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purplebackpack89

Post subject: Re: ITT: Cards that apparently don't exist

Posted: Wed May 10, 2017 6:14 pm

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Joined: Oct 10, 2015
Posts: 3569
Location: California
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Did you know that the word "Sandy" has never been used in the name of an MtG card?

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purplebackpack89 wrote:

Is it just me, or does Bruse Tarl look like an 1890s Barnum circus strongman who'd hawk strength tonic patent medicines on the side?

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