The Easter Bunny |

Planeswalker - Bunny

Search your library for a permanent card and exile it.
Create 2 white 1/2 bunny token creatures. These bunnies have "Sacrifice this bunny to prevent 1 damage from being dealt to target player or planeswalker."
Put all permanents you control from exile into the battlefield.

The Easter Bunny can be a commander

Sugar Shock |

Sorcery

Target creatures you control. Those creatures gain +1/+0, haste and trample until end of turn. Creatures targeted by Sugar Shock tap at the end of turn and do not untap on your next untap step.

I don't play Azorius but I'd play that commander.


Was hoping for a Monty Python reference. I am Jack's growing disappointment.

elk

Sugar shock is hilarious, but it should also grant deathtouch. Anyone who gets in the way is getting mowed down.

The Easter Bunny is not a bad card tbh.

Trample matches the flavor more than deathtouch.


Now we just need a White Zombie Jesus card.

Deathtouch matches the exhaustive experience of corralling kids on a sugar rush. I said "also" cause you need Trample too for everyone involved to crash. Plus haste because flavor. 3 keyword mythic.

Lol, zombie Jesus has to go in Orzombies. Perfect timing.

Jesus, the messiah.

Legendary Creature human carpenter god,

Defender
When Jesus enters the battlefield Embalm any target creature in your graveyard.
Jesus comes into play with a +1/+1 counter on it.
Tap another creature you control: put a +1/+1 counter on Jesus.
All other humans recieved +1/+1 for each +1/+1 counter on Jesus.
Embalm
0/0

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

It should be embalm suspend 3.

Lol, that it should...
Should also have something like:

Sacrifice Jesus: Save the world.

Judas, The Unfathful

Deathtouch

Sacrifice another creature you control: You gain 13 life

1/1

Christ, the Prince of Peace
WW
Legendary Creature - Human God Carpenter
2/3
Lifelink
When Christ, the Prince of Peace dies, exile him for two turns. At the beginning of the upkeep on the third turn, return him to the battlefield transformed as Christ, the Risen Lord.

Christ, the Risen Lord
Legendary Creature - God
6/6
Indestructible, Flying, Lifelink
When Christ, the Risen Lord enters the battlefield, exile target demon.

You've got to keep the fath brother.

Dies to Twin Bolt.

Would've made the bible much more interesting

I think that any Jesus card should have Islandwalk and also grant you the ability to spend for costs.

It might be time to pull out the old card maker again.
Edit: One for old time sake and this one specifically because I was jogging my mind the other day about our past collection of forum trolls.

The CMC should be .

Meh.
The whole idea is that no matter what, he's not worth it.