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Shall we set sail for adventure with Gale?
Aye-Aye! (Yea): 60%  60%  [ 3 ]
Walk the plank (Nay): 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
If you swab those decks (NAI): 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Calm Waters (Abstain): 40%  40%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 5
Total voters : 5
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 3:17 am 
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Title: Beneath the Waves
Authors: OrcishLibrarian and RavenoftheBlack
Status: Public

Beneath the Waves


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 11:26 pm 
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I will engage in my mandatory abstention, here.

But I also want to just reiterate one more time how much of a pleasure it was to work on this story with Raven, and I hope that everyone else enjoys it even a fraction of as much as I do!

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 7:58 pm 
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I feel like it would be in poor taste to make a bunch of eye puns here.

Punnery (or lack thereof) notwithstanding, this is a great read and a great addition to Gale's ongoing story. Meeting Blink is certainly an, uh, interesting (terrifying) choice. She gives me the willies. I'm glad Gale got that same sort of feeling.

Has Foraine been mentioned before? I feel like I should know that from somewhere. Should I know it from somewhere?

Actually, with a name like Vasco, and with the names of all the other characters and places, I sort of imagined this taking place on Fisco's home plane. Food for thought. I wouldn't mind fleshing out a few of these places, though I certainly don't have the time.

Anyway, this is a great story which moved naturally, though I have to ask - why was the crew so suspicious of Gale? Was it just that they did not know where she was from?

Thanks for posting, both of you!

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 8:48 pm 
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I feel like it would be in poor taste to make a bunch of eye puns here.

As a teacher, eye always tell my pupils that it's okay to make puns. After all, sometimes, they can be iris-esistible.

Punnery (or lack thereof) notwithstanding, this is a great read and a great addition to Gale's ongoing story. Meeting Blink is certainly an, uh, interesting (terrifying) choice. She gives me the willies. I'm glad Gale got that same sort of feeling.

Yeah, it's usually best to keep your eye on her. Don't Blink...

Has Foraine been mentioned before? I feel like I should know that from somewhere. Should I know it from somewhere?

Foraine is the primary Queendom on the plane of Thorneau.

Actually, with a name like Vasco, and with the names of all the other characters and places, I sort of imagined this taking place on Fisco's home plane. Food for thought. I wouldn't mind fleshing out a few of these places, though I certainly don't have the time.

I like a lot of the places on that plane, too. Personally, I think of it sort of like a plane-wide Spanish Main/Caribbean Sea during the Age of Sail, which of course makes me all kinds of happy.

Anyway, this is a great story which moved naturally, though I have to ask - why was the crew so suspicious of Gale? Was it just that they did not know where she was from?

They know Gale is an excellent sailor, because she proves that every day. But her presence and the stories she tells raises a lot of questions. The crew have no idea what planeswalkers are (of course, neither does Gale!) The crew's suspicion of Gale grows as more and more odd things come up. At first, Amargo starts to question Gale because of Gale's suspicion of Blink. She seems harmless to Amargo, and so he assumes Gale's dislike stems from something else, perhaps a romantic interest in the Captain. It's possible he also notices that she's tying a hangman's knot while thinking about Blink. So, Amargo starts to question her about her past, and she doesn't name a single captain, ship, port, or even sea that he's ever heard of, which starts him wondering. Why isn't she telling him the truth, he likely wonders. What does she have to hide? And then, there was that scene where Gale was riding the seas a bit too roughly for Amargo's tastes. She hadn't been at the helm all that much for the Blazing Star, and never in such winds, and I think that really shook the first mate's confidence in her.

The crew doesn't really start to get an odd feeling about her until her strange behavior below decks. Why was Gale, who loved to sing, so unwilling to sing the very well-known song with the rest of the crew? Why did she run off like she did? Why is she sleeping so restlessly all of a sudden? Amargo gives some possible reasons, the last of which, of course, is guilt. Is Gale up to something? I think Amargo thinks so, and the more she acts strangely, the more the rest of the crew might just agree with her.

Now, none of this would have been enough to condemn Gale by themselves. But, when they catch her in Vasco's cabin, they're quick to assume the worst because of everything that had happened over the past few days. And in a way, you really can't blame them. That scene does not look good for Gale. Think also about how Gale enters Vasco's cabin. No one but her, Blink, and Vasco would have known she was supposed to be there. She knocks on the door, gets no answer, knocks louder, gets annoyed, and then enters unbidden, and at least two or three of the crew saw her. Then, when the crew sees her with the knife in her hand and a cowering, frightened little Blink...

Thanks for posting, both of you!

Thank you for reading, commentating, and voting!


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 10:19 pm 
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@ Ruwin -- Thanks so much for reading (and voting), Ruwin, and for the thoughtful comments!

Meeting Blink is certainly an, uh, interesting (terrifying) choice. She gives me the willies.

Me, too!

I, for one, would not care to meet Blink, even though I appear to have the proper number of eyes so as to not get gruesomely murdered...


Actually, with a name like Vasco, and with the names of all the other characters and places, I sort of imagined this taking place on Fisco's home plane. Food for thought.

Seems plausible to me. That would certainly be an interesting connection.


Anyway, this is a great story which moved naturally, though I have to ask - why was the crew so suspicious of Gale? Was it just that they did not know where she was from?

They know Gale is an excellent sailor, because she proves that every day. But her presence and the stories she tells raises a lot of questions. The crew have no idea what planeswalkers are (of course, neither does Gale!) The crew's suspicion of Gale grows as more and more odd things come up. At first, Amargo starts to question Gale because of Gale's suspicion of Blink. She seems harmless to Amargo, and so he assumes Gale's dislike stems from something else, perhaps a romantic interest in the Captain. It's possible he also notices that she's tying a hangman's knot while thinking about Blink. So, Amargo starts to question her about her past, and she doesn't name a single captain, ship, port, or even sea that he's ever heard of, which starts him wondering. Why isn't she telling him the truth, he likely wonders. What does she have to hide? And then, there was that scene where Gale was riding the seas a bit too roughly for Amargo's tastes. She hadn't been at the helm all that much for the Blazing Star, and never in such winds, and I think that really shook the first mate's confidence in her.

The crew doesn't really start to get an odd feeling about her until her strange behavior below decks. Why was Gale, who loved to sing, so unwilling to sing the very well-known song with the rest of the crew? Why did she run off like she did? Why is she sleeping so restlessly all of a sudden? Amargo gives some possible reasons, the last of which, of course, is guilt. Is Gale up to something? I think Amargo thinks so, and the more she acts strangely, the more the rest of the crew might just agree with her.

Now, none of this would have been enough to condemn Gale by themselves. But, when they catch her in Vasco's cabin, they're quick to assume the worst because of everything that had happened over the past few days. And in a way, you really can't blame them. That scene does not look good for Gale. Think also about how Gale enters Vasco's cabin. No one but her, Blink, and Vasco would have known she was supposed to be there. She knocks on the door, gets no answer, knocks louder, gets annoyed, and then enters unbidden, and at least two or three of the crew saw her. Then, when the crew sees her with the knife in her hand and a cowering, frightened little Blink...

I will basically second Raven's analysis here.

There's a sort of terrible irony, I think, in the fact that Gale's remarkable skill as a sailor ends up contributing to her own undoing. Because, if she was just a brand new hand, then that would explain why she can't name any captains who will vouch for her, and why she doesn't know all the names and places and songs that a sailor on Vegante would be expected to know.

But Gale is a remarkable sailor. She's preternaturally skilled, and, even more than that, everything about her -- from the way she carries herself to the way she speaks to the way that she's so at home aboard a ship -- bears the mark of a woman who has spent her life at sea. And that's what makes it so implausible that Gale can't name a captain she has served under, or a ship she has served aboard, or a port that she has docked in -- or any of these sorts of things -- that Amargo (or anyone else aboard the Blazing Star, for that matter) has ever heard of before.

A man like Amargo prides himself on knowing all the captains and ships who ply the trade routes, and -- if Gale is what she appears to be -- then he ought to have heard of her before. *Someone* ought to have heard of her before. And she ought to have a history of service that would be easy to verify.

But no one knows Gale. And the places and people and ships she describes, well, they don't seem to exist.

Which means that, as far as Amargo's concerned, Gale is lying to him. She's hiding something. The question is what, and why?

And, once that seed is planted in his mind, I think it just grows and grows and grows. (And Blink, of course, does her part to water that seed, too.) And I think that, as Amargo discusses his concerns with the rest of the crew, they start to come around to his way of thinking, too.

Because something is off about Gale. She fits in so well, except that she doesn't quite fit in at all. She's like a piece from the wrong jigsaw puzzle -- the shape might be right, but the image doesn't fit with the surroundings.

So, like Raven said, once the crew sees Gale standing over the Vasco, with the knife in her hand, I think they're ready to believe the worst. :(

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 3:44 pm 
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I finally got around to reading this. It was chilling. I'm so upset that Gale just can't seem to catch a break. I'm just wondering why Blink waited so long before stabbing poor captain Vasco? Also, I felt that the crew's suspicion of Gale grew naturally and was well handled.

I want to vote Yea on this, but clearly no one told the poll that it was supposed to be extended.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 3:53 pm 
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Aaarrrgh wrote:
I want to vote Yea on this, but clearly no one told the poll that it was supposed to be extended.

Sorry about that!

:fixed:


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 10:35 pm 
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"...pulling her with unrelenting arms in an eternal embrace...."

"arms" is redundant, and "embrace" would hold more tightly with an "into".

Especially considering that arms can get tired.


There's a few places in the beginning that slightly hang up the eyes, but overall it seems quite well written.

I'm abstaining due to length.

I'd like to point out that the last couple stories that I read from you made me very emotional, for whatever coincidental reason. I really enjoy your work, I'm just not in the mood of entertaining too many tears at the moment. Barinellos got away with it this time because he kept it short and sweet, and well, perfect.

btw- I thought Gale was a cyborg? Or who was that character?


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