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No witty pun this week, I fear - just a vote:
Poll ended at Mon Aug 10, 2015 9:22 am
Yea 100%  100%  [ 7 ]
Nay 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Not-As-Is 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Abstain 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 7
Total voters : 7
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 02, 2015 9:22 am 
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The Hand That Feeds :diamond:
by OrcishLibrarian

Trigger Warning


The Hand That Feeds

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 02, 2015 3:25 pm 
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I would like to say that I've tried to read this for the last... Oh, I think 3 weeks? I've kept having to put it off for one reason or another, though, and I very much am looking forward to it.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 10:23 pm 
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I would like to say that I've tried to read this for the last... Oh, I think 3 weeks? I've kept having to put it off for one reason or another, though, and I very much am looking forward to it.

No worries, Luna!

When and if you read this one, I will very much look forward to hearing your comments.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 12:42 am 
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It occurs to me because of the way you bring back attention to Westrick's two reasons for pulling up his collar, that you may have put some necessary weight to the description of rain in Nebhos.

In terms of writing style, I don't think it's your strongest, really, but I have to admit that you brought me to the edge of tears and I think you'll know what did it. I'll back this up without question.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 12:56 am 
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So, given the nature of the setting and my own reviews, I think you can safely surmise my vote.

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To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 10:23 am 
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Ouch. As someone who hopes to be a parent myself someday, this speaks to some pretty deep fears and insecurities in me (granted, the magic and killing bits do not apply). I think the part that saddens me the most is the fact that it seems that Adys wants to be a father, and Tryst cannot see it. Great work as usual, and a clear Yea from me.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2015 4:44 pm 
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I'll pull an Orcish here and mostly defer to my comments on the original thread. But I do really like this story!

Definite "Yea" from me.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:10 pm 
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@ Luna -- Thanks so much for reading, Luna, and for commenting!

It occurs to me because of the way you bring back attention to Westrick's two reasons for pulling up his collar, that you may have put some necessary weight to the description of rain in Nebhos.

Back when Bariinellos was giving me the skinny on Nebhos, one of the first things he mention was that it rains there essentially all of the time. And the symbolism of that really sort of stuck with me. You have this city full of miserable people, all of whom are there because, at one point or another in their lives, they made a terrible choice. It was so easy for me to sort of picture the endless rain as their collective tears, and that became sort of the defining feature of Nebhos for me.


In terms of writing style, I don't think it's your strongest, really, but I have to admit that you brought me to the edge of tears and I think you'll know what did it.

Well, I'm really sorry that you felt like this one didn't quite fire on all cylinders. If you have any specific criticisms, I'm always happy to hear them!

But I'm glad that you felt like the piece had its good moments as well!


* * *

@ Barinellos -- Thanks for being my Phostus co-pilot on these Tryst stories, and for all the feedback on the drafts! I hope that you've been as happy with the results as I have!


* * *

@ Aaarrrgh -- Thanks so much for reading, Aaarrrgh, and for commenting!

Aaarrrgh wrote:
Ouch. As someone who hopes to be a parent myself someday, this speaks to some pretty deep fears and insecurities in me (granted, the magic and killing bits do not apply).

I think that there's this sort of universal feeling that parents have, which is something like three-quarters hope and one-quarter fear -- they want their kids to have a better life than they did. And Tryst clearly harbors that feeling.

But the thing that really sort of gets at me is that, whereas I think most parents also hope that their children will see them as role models, for Tryst, wanting her child to have a better life than she did means the exact opposite -- she wants her daughter to be as unlike her as possible. And so I think she's constantly caught in this horrible trap.


Aaarrrgh wrote:
I think the part that saddens me the most is the fact that it seems that Adys wants to be a father, and Tryst cannot see it.

Adys definitely wants something from this "relationship" -- and I put that word in scare quotes, almost -- beyond the claim on Tryst's soul that he got for his part in this bargain. And that was emphatically not part of Tryst's plan. She picked Adys to do her deal with precisely because she thought it would be a purely transactional exchange: he'd get a soul, and she'd get a baby -- no strings attached.

I think she never even considered the possibility that Adys might have some continuing interest in the child, whatever that interest might be. And I think that it scares the life out of her, even as she is not above taking advantage of it when it suits her to do so.


* * *

@ Raven -- Thanks for the kind words!

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 09, 2015 9:57 pm 
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A strong yea from me. I like Tryst a lot, and this glimpse into why she made the decision about her daughter that she did is great.


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