Granted! Musical theater is now performed in a different part of New York.

I wish to be able to repair my car myself whenever it breaks down.

Granted! However you don't ever remember to put the tools in the car, so it never comes into play.

I wish lightsabers were real.

Granted! They were real. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

I wish for the ability to think of a clever wish to make each time I post in this thread.

This I grant you master! You are never without a humorous and provocative wish to make to the others of your internet forum. However, it seems as if one of those devious assassins of the orient- the dreaded ninja, beats you to the post every time!

I wish to be ninja-proof.

*sets TPmanW on fire* Wish granted!

I wish 'Torment: Tides of Numenera' would hurry up and be released already. Or at least settle on a release date.

*That's some impeccable taste in webcomics you have Garren
I kind of figure Numenera must have come out already when I wasn't paying attention. Guess not*

I grant you this! Your Planescape computer video game has been given a final release date: March 35th, 2015.

I wish fora portable light source that will never run out of power.

Granted! Your nose is now radioactive, providing you with constant light. Right in front of your eyes. Also, causing you face cancer.

I wish for legal access to the equivalent of $50000 in a currency I can use, acquired without harm to myself or anyone else.

Wish granted. You are now the proud owner of $50000 in tricky dick fun bills. They can be used ..... to purchase things in a theme park that is going out of business 2 days after your first visit.


I wish for legal access to the equivalent of $50000 in a currency I can use for a wide variety of things I personally would consider to be practical purchases for my own use at multiple points in time I would consider convenient to me in locations I can easily access at said convenient points in time, acquired and usable without harm to myself or anyone else.

This I grant you! Of course, the sudden appearance of $50,000 worth of new Bitcoins has had an interesting effect on the currency. It doesn't help that nobody can figure out where this new money came from. You'll be able to spend your funds whenever you want, but don't expect it retain much value over the coming half hour.

I wish to become a Pokemon!

Granted! You are now a string of code in an old forgotten GameBoy Color cartridge. You retain awareness, trapped inside your dormant digital prison forever.

I wish for a Pokemon/Magic the Gathering crossover set, compatible with all previously released Magic sets.

This i grant you. Unfortunately, it becomes the new Homelands and pokemon is forever synanomous with "bad" in the minds of mtg players from then on.

I wish for international peace between all countries.

Granted. The aliens invade.

I wish for 1000 wishes.

Granted. However you must still take turns with other posters.

I wish for 1000 wishes in a row.

granted, but theyll all expire within 15 seconds of me posting this, so think fast.

i wish to know whether my personality is more or

Wish granted. You are one or the other at any point in time, and it switches back and forth. But there is some Shrodinger-esque situation going on where no one can seem to figure out what it is. So you ask a genie. And he tells you izzet. And you are etternally saddened because your only deck is that Simic ramp one you invested so much of your life into.

I wish for the next poster in this thread to type a 1000 word response to this wish. That is funny.

i typed a 1000 word response, but I'm not posting it.

I wish for 3 dollars

I grant you three dollars! Zimbabwean dollars of course. It's said that you could starve to death on Z$1000000000, so what you have can't really buy anything. Maybe if you save up, you could get a penny candy.

I wish for $3 USD (US dollars).

Granted! You now have exactly $3 USD in nickels.

I wish I had more time to play video games.

Your wish has been granted. You have more time to play video games now..... but you also lost your job and are now working at Wallmart.

I wish that we could conclusively declare that P == NP or P != NP as far as Computer Science is concerned.

Granted. We could but we're not going to.

I wish for doom.