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 Post subject: [Short Story] Slavery
PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 7:40 pm 
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Figured a certain character has a certain trait I've been emphasising a lot but not actually showing, so here it is.


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Last edited by Heliosphoros on Tue Feb 10, 2015 11:14 am, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 8:16 pm 
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Not a bad little story. I don't know much about the character (I think I've read, what, one other story with him?) but there's so good characterization here. I like, for examples, the annoyed fashion in which he saved Tavil. He's just sort of like, "Yeah, I saved you, whatever, are we done here?"

For some reason, a couple of rhyming pairs of words really stood out to me, like "regal eagle" and "said red." Not a big issue, of course, but something that jumped out as I was reading.

Thanks for posting.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 8:25 pm 
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Thank you once again for your time.

Yes, I did write some four other stories where Panahihou features, though only two do so promeniently and not as a small cameo, and one of them was aborted. So, this is where his characterisation is most consistent.

I actually didn't notice that rhyming. Guess my policy of going with the flow did work after all.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:39 am 
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Fixed a few spelling mistakes.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:06 pm 
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The characterization is pretty strong here. I would read more stories that let me take a peek into the Aven's mind.

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"...the historians will write of our suffering, and they will speak of it as the suffering of those who served the Crippled God. As something … fitting. And for our seeming fanaticism they will dismiss all that we were, and think only of what we achieved. Or failed to achieve.

And in so doing, they will miss the whole **** point.”


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:21 pm 
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Thank you!

Indeed, I have some in store, though not for now.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2015 11:14 am 
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Fixed a few spelling mistakes

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https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DKFQ7Q38/ a book based on Lusitanian Mythology


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