Burning-Tree Shaman + Pariah's Shield.
Well, probably not the best.
But it is arbitrarily large.

I have updated the flavor text on the fruit to make it less dumb.

Non-intelligent fruit is the #1 leading cause for breaking the suspension of disbelief.
Really though, it's kind of cool, even if making it an artifact is a bit curious.
Also not really sure why it prevents the damage. It ruins my image of vicious plant heads sprouting out of the wounds in a gory burst. Now it's more like the sword becoming a plant mid-swing.

Yeah I was going with the theme of the other two which have damage prevention or sprouting which is kinda like regen. Not preventing the damage is probably better.

Thanks Fenix

Fate Reforged
Instant
Change the current mode on target spell or permanent with another mode on that spell or permanent.

If this wording doesn't work I dunno how to make it work.

Bonebead Abacus
Artifact
Whenever a creature dies, put a bead counter on ~
The Value of X in spells is equal to the number of bead counters on ~. This does not effect the costs of spells cast.

I added flowers so people would care more.

I clicked because of the flowers.

That's all I ever really wanted. And attention.

Here is attention. I too clicked because flowers.

I came here to buy flowers =[

I wanted to support the business of another NoGobbo'er.

Mighty Morphing Power Rangers
Legendary Creature - Human Scout
Megamorph
When you megamorph ~ Put a legendary 15/15 artifact creature named Ultra Megazord with haste, flying, vigilance, trample and "~ has indestructible as long as you control Mighty Morphing Power Rangers" onto the battlefield.
~ has indestructible as long as you control an Ultra Megazord.
2/2

How much are the primroses?

From Vektor480

Potato
Creature - Plant
Megamorph 1G
"Sometimes it's potato, sometimes it's bear" - Ivan, the Russian
1/1

Catastrophe
Sorcery
Destroy all non-cat creatures.
Each player may search his or her library for any number of cat permanents, put the onto the battlefield, then shuffles their library.
Then everything changed when the furry nation attacked

ok

Catastrophe.

May I suggest Cat-astrophe?

Catastrophe (Not the Urza's Saga One).

False Idol
Encbantment Artifact
Increase your devotion to black by 3
"That thing creeps me out, the eyes always follow me around the room."
"But Jill, it doesn't have any eyes.

I'm late to the party but oh well.

Neato. Make it an enchantment artifact maybe?