Why do they cotton swab the guy's arm with rubbing alcohol before a lethal injection?
It helps prevent infection.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
No, that would only occur if he threatened to kill his
selves.
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Sign makers would obviously make their signs before going on strike or, failing that, communicate their demands in their native tongue: sign language.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Based on the logic of your question, he should be called a race carrist and not a racist. Answer denied.
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Because many people are in a rush to get somewhere, thus creating traffic.
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
It measures seconds.
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
They light up.
If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it?
There are a variety of medications developed for a variety of ailments, though I do not know which one specifically is for kleptomania.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Both, but mostly failed.
Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
Because bullets bouncing off your chest says one thing, but guns? It's too comical. He's already dealing with wearing tights. That's enough cause for incredulity already.
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
Panties is singular and plural. Answer denied.
If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?
Yes. Especially if that fan club is composed of fans and clubs.
If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it?
By opening and using it. Note it doesn't say "cannot use if seal is broken."