Bring a dead game back to life, but with a few changes.

--The first person asks a fantasy related question.
--The next poster must answer it wrong, preferably in a manner that is absurd. (of course)
--Then the poster poses his own question, and the game continues.

For instance, a poster might ask:

Where do Dwarves generaly like to live?

The next poster would reply:

Dwarves generally live on the plains of most worlds, forming deep bonds with their favorite horses living off grain and game killed with slings.

To start this game off, I'll ask the first question:

What race is best suited for a wizard?

Why murlocs are the best race for wizards of course. Their unique lingual skills make them very good at casting those 20 word spells that must be spoken in perfect Aaaaaughibbrgubugbugrguburgle.




Why do birds fly?

It is a little known fact that all birds suffer from mysophobia as a racial trait. To counter this, and to allow them to function as a species, the great land-birds of old made pacts with ancient and unknowable evils to attain the ability to fly. Unbeknownst to them however the pact forced them to commit acts of petty evil to sustain their abilities - that is why to this day birds are prolific litterers, thieves and attackers of unaccompanied children.

Why does it get dark at night?

It is a little known fact that the Sun god, Ra, suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. Each morning he awakens alone, wanting of glory and comfort. So he climbs high into the sky to gain a better view of his kingdom, and to share his brilliance with all mankind. The higher he gets, the more his subjects are drawn to revere his radiance, and so Ra fills with pride and shines down on all the land. But when he reaches the highest point in the sky, the Sun god sees his entire kingdom and realizes that none are worthy of his glory, and so he descends once again beneath the horizon, leaving man to stray in the darkness apart from his brilliance.

How many licks does it take to reach the center of a Tootsie Roll® Tootsie Pop?

Generally, there is no way to lick your way to the center of a tootsie roll pop. This is because such things are expanding menaces that continue to grow at a rate faster than spit can dissolve them but otherwise indistinguishable to anyone not monitoring them closely. Might I suggest trying an ice pick instead?



How much wood could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood?

147 kilograms (unless its mahogany, then only 133 kilograms). Double that if the lumber is from Norway.

What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?

Why the question of course.


Why do bad things happen to good people?

Hinduism got it wrong: karma works in reverse.

Why are there no longer dinosaurs roaming the Earth?

Well, they evolved well past where we believe, discovered space travel and left the planet before the meteors hit. Enough had died before then that we still have enough fossils for our research, but they are currently working on taking over the rest of the universe, with tentative plans to come back to earth, if they ever get bored of their current conquests.

Why do bees sting if they know it will kill them?

Well, bees sting because they are all suicidal. I mean, if you had to work for a queen bee, you'd be suicidal as well. They all just want to die horrible, horrible deaths.

Where is the best place to go to find a tiefling?

~SE++

To find the location you must go to the caves of doom. Then you will find the map of sadness. Then you follow the map for about three steps at which point you will then see a road sign that says Dragons this way, do not go that way instead ask the man at the kiosk and he will say "Target"


How do you get to the land of Midnight Dragons?

First, you wait until Midnight, then you start dragging things, and there you have it: The Land of Midnight Drag-Ons.

Why is the sun so bright?

~SE++

Because the keebler elves are baking it at too high of a temperature.

What is the meaning of life?

43

Do you know the Muffin Man?

I am aware of no muffin man but am aquanted with a self-professed "cupcake guy".

What is the primary different between a mirrored and a distorted fireball spell?

One breaks a mirror and the other hits a distortion.

Why does Austin Powers always foil my plans?

He just keeps mistaking you for someone who might do actual damage.

Who is actually in charge of the city of Waterdeep?

The aboleths. Hierarchy in Waterdeep is determined by depth below sea level. The aboleths, with their ridiculously low crush depth rule below all at the side of James Cameron.

What's the magical equivalent of an atomic bomb?

Total Protonic Reversal.


Why is carbon based life more common than silicon based life?

Because most health insurance plans don't cover cosmetic surgery.

Why are bards such a generally disliked class?