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 Post subject: Veltrum
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:57 pm 
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Veltrum is a world bound to its past. Supernatural events of overwhelming power have brought existence to ruin over and over again, and powerful remnants of the past still linger, vying for dominance. Existance is ever changing, swaying in correlation with the power struggles of history reincarnated.

This is partially a workspace, and partially me telling me to stop slacking and get started on making stuff by doing something public. Name is subject to change.

Mechanics
Phenomena
Glory

Phenomena
The Crimson Rain
The Verdant Nimbus

Races

Locations

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Last edited by Mown on Fri Nov 21, 2014 7:01 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 7:06 pm 
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Phenomena
Throughout history, Veltrum has undergone many significant events. While the past is usually contained in libraries, habitants of Veltrum need only look to the sky to confirm the mistakes done by magi of old. Mechanically, this is represented by Phenomena, global effects that continuously change during the game.

Medvin's Monument
Artifact (C)
: Add to your mana pool.
~ enters the battlefield tapped. When it does, The Hollow Eclipse appears. (During this phenomenon, at the beginning of each player's end step, that player exiles two cards from his or her graveyard.)

Edias' Monument
Artifact (C)
: Add to your mana pool.
~ enters the battlefield tapped. When it does, The Twin Moon appears. (During this phenomenon, at the beginning of each player's end step, that player draws a card and discards a card.)

Kolbius' Monument
Artifact (C)
: Add to your mana pool.
~ enters the battlefield tapped. When it does, The Palewind appears. (During this phenomenon, at the beginning of each player's end step, that player puts the top 3 cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard.)

Olvara's Monument
Artifact (C)
: Add to your mana pool.
~ enters the battlefield tapped. When it does, The Scarlet Rain appears. (During this phenomenon, creatures have haste.)

Lilja's Monument
Artifact (C)
: Add to your mana pool.
~ enters the battlefield tapped. When it does, The Verdant Nimbus appears. (During this phenomenon, lands have ": Add P to your mana pool.")


Shame about lack of space for flavor text. Oh well, I'll go into detail on each one later.
As usual, prismatic mana may be spent as mana of any color. I'm not putting remind text in reminder text.

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Last edited by Mown on Fri Nov 21, 2014 10:09 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 7:11 pm 
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Oh hey it's those things again.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 7:30 pm 
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Indeed.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 8:41 pm 
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Do the phenomenon cancel each other out or stack? It's not very clear as festivals.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Thu Nov 20, 2014 9:40 pm 
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Why is the Reminder Text Reminder Text? Seems gimmicky.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 4:54 am 
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LilyStorm wrote:
Do the phenomenon cancel each other out or stack? It's not very clear as festivals.

They cancel each other out, otherwise the mechanic would be dumb. I know the reminder text is a little bit lacking in how descriptive it is, but I hope I can make up for it with booster inserts. You'll see in my next post here what I mean.
Why is the Reminder Text Reminder Text? Seems gimmicky.

Several reasons. Ease of reference, mechanical importance, flavor purposes and because I really wouldn't know how to implement it as rules text.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 8:52 am 
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The Scarlet Rain
The fall of Devin's son heralds the first uprising in Veltrum history. As vedalken blood soaked the pavements of Nestrand, humanity rebelled against their callous masters. By murdering the young heir, Olvara reached for freedom and removed the shackles of fear that had chained them for so long. However, by plunging the vedalken into chaos, other factions saw opportunities. In a land that had remained static for so long, bottled up greed and hate were all unleashed. The sparks for a battle that would seemingly never cease had just been created.

The Scarlet Rain
Phenomenon
(There can only be one active phenomenon. A phenomenon ends if another one appears.)
Creatures have haste.

As the rain turns red, Veltrum is reminded of its grim past. These days, the droplets of blood are an inspiration for deranged cultists, encouragement for those seeking freedom, and a memento to all of those who long for battle. Olvara's voice echoes in the ripples, calling you to take initiative and claim what you seek.

Olvara's Charm
Instant (C)
Choose one —
• Target creature attacks this turn if able.
• ~ deals 2 damage to target player.
• The Crimson Rain appears. (During this phenomenon, creatures have haste.)

Bloodsoaked Phantasm
Creature — Spirit (C)
~ attacks each turn if able.
His anger still guides him to a battle that ended centuries ago.
3/1

Trauma Skulker
Creature — Human Horror (C)
Whenever ~ attacks, exile target card from defending player's graveyard.
Those who try to escape their past will be bound to chase after it.
2/3

Rebellious Urges
Sorcery (U)
You may cast ~ for if The Crimson Rain is active.
Gain control of target tapped creature you don't control until end of turn. Untap it. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Murgrell Occultist
Creature — Human Shaman (U)
, Sacrifice a creature: Draw a card.
When nature won't comply, make your own rain.
2/1

Savage Echoes
Enchantment (R)
When ~ enters the battlefield, The Crimson Rain appears. (During this phenomenon, creatures have haste.)
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, it gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

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Last edited by Mown on Fri Nov 21, 2014 7:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 11:32 am 
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Glory
During the carnage of The Scarlet Rain, troops from all over the land clashed with each other. Some with ambition of conquest, others driven merely by bloodlust. However, a select few individuals fought with honor, for comrades and freedom. The rebels of old still inspire the individuals of today to strive for a better future, and reach for their goals through actions.

Glory — When ~ dies while in combat, [...].

Glory is an ability word that appears in White and Red, and rewards attacking and blocking. "In combat" is technically not a defined state, but Silly told me to do it anyways, because being able to remove things from combat does exist. In other words, a creature is in combat while attacking or blocking.

Meandering Unrest
Creature — Spirit (C)
Glory — When ~ dies while in combat, you gain 5 life.
Drifting through the wastes of battlefields, they seek atonement by the blade.
2/2

Reckless Hooligan
Creature — Human Rebel (C)
Glory — When ~ dies while in combat, discard up to two cards, then draw that many cards.
"Let me demonstrate why that's a terrible idea."
2/1

Nestrand Recruiter
Creature — Human Rebel (C)
Glory — When ~ dies while in combat, create two 1/1 white Rebel creature tokens.
"Nobody will see you rotting in the shadows. We must step into the light, so we too may shine for all to see."
2/2

Earnest Skirmisher
Creature — Human Rebel (U)
First strike
Glory — When ~ dies while in combat, destroy target creature in combat.
3/2

Victim of Violence
Creature — Human (U)
Glory — When ~ dies while in combat, The Crimson Rain appears. (During this phenomenon, creatures have haste.)
"We thought our time with swords had passed, but the little girl convinced us otherwise."
0/1

Soul of the Crusade
Creature — Spirit (M)
Vigilance
Glory — When ~ dies while in combat, exile it. If you do, return a creature card of an opponent's choice from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains this ability.
4/4

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 11:57 am 
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Could the recruiter instead be renamed into some kind of martyr? Seems weird to recruit when you die, but people dying as martyrs classically recruit more to the cause.

Nice keyword overall. Has cool applications, design space, and flavor.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:02 pm 
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Olvara's Monument

Artifact (C)

Olvara's Monument enters the battlefield tapped. When it does, the Scarlet Rain comes to pass. (Until the next phenomenon comes to pass, creatures have haste.)

Rebellious Urges

Sorcery (U)

If the Scarlet Rain has come to pass, you may cast Rebellious Urges without paying its mana cost.
Gain control of target tapped creature you don't control until end of turn. Untap it. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Reckless Hooligan

Creature - Human Rebel (C)
2/1

Glory - When Reckless Hooligan dies in combat, discard up to two cards, then draw that many cards.

"Let me demonstrate why that's a terrible idea."

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:04 pm 
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Thanks. I personally would have liked to call it something less heroic sounding that glory, but none of the other options I found were very appealing.

@Recruiter: Maybe. I don't really like Martyr specifically though, nor do I know of any befitting synonyms. Not really on board with the current name either though, so I wouldn't mind changing it. Possibly something regarding to inspiring.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:12 pm 
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Glory is basically what I'm doing in my third set of my kung fu block, although simply worded as dies in battle, and aslo triggers on fight.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:28 pm 
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Olvara's Monument enters the battlefield tapped. When it does, the Scarlet Rain comes to pass. (Until the next phenomenon comes to pass, creatures have haste.)

That sounds hella weird.
I considered something similar to the reminder text though. Couldn't decide on "during this phenomenon" or "until another phenomenon appears", but the first one just felt more right.

If the Scarlet Rain has come to pass, you may cast Rebellious Urges without paying its mana cost.

Considered this too, but then it sounds like it's free as long as it has happened at some point during the game.

Glory - When Reckless Hooligan dies in combat, discard up to two cards, then draw that many cards.

Was uncertain whether I should drop "while" or not, but I kept it because the templating of it corresponds more to what I expect. I wouldn't, for example, word a card "If ~ dies attacking or blocking", despite how that looks more like a sentence.
LilyStorm wrote:
Glory is basically what I'm doing in my third set of my kung fu block, although simply worded as dies in battle, and aslo triggers on fight.

Sorry, I guess I took all the glory.
keke

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:30 pm 
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That's okay, mine isn't keyworded because 13 > 14 (keywords that is)

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 1:01 pm 
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You may cast Rebellious Urges without paying its mana cost during the Scarlet Rain.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 1:25 pm 
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I do like that better, but I don't want to introduce too much terminology.
Although it's already using for phases and steps, so maybe not.
Not entirely sure.
Would still go with the 0 wording though, it feels neater somehow.

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 5:57 pm 
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The Verdant Nimbus
The war seemed to have no end in sight, but no fire can burn forever. Resources slowly dried up as the world was turned into a massive battlefield. In the end, each territory became equal; dry and lifeless. The restless warriors who had long since forgotten why they started finally became tired, and a form of peace could be seen in the bleak and desolate reality. This current state could have lasted for millenia, were it not for the efforts of the spectacular druid Lilja. Entranced by fairy tales about forests as she grew up, she dedicated herself to nature, and listened to its endless cries. She assembled a council to give fertility back to the land. Through the shared efforts of 20 magi, she commanded the world to grow. Nature, however, has a bottomles hunger. As they connected their mana to the earth, the earth held tight. An entire city of people watched as the magi before them slowly collapsed, leaving only expressions of desperation and agony behind. Nature would once again thrive, more bountiful than ever. As treeetops coated heaven in leaves, civilization was plunged into darkness.

The Verdant Nimbus
Phenomenon
(There can only be one active phenomenon. A phenomenon ends if another one appears.)
Lands have ": Add P to your mana pool." (Prismatic mana may be spent as mana of any color.)

As the clouds grow wide and cover themselves in leaves, the world flourishes. Nature celebrates in its bounty as it reaches for the skies, and druids around rejoice. As The Verdant Nimbus manifests, we remind ourselves to treat nature with both care and fear.

Lilja's Charm
Instant (C)
Choose one —
• You gain 4 life.
• Untap up to two lands you control.
• The Verdant Nimbus appears. (During this phenomenon, lands have ": Add P to your mana pool.")

Sootcrown Brambler
Creature — Treefolk Shaman (C)
: Target creature blocks ~ this turn if able.
The pollen it spreads stimulates aggressive behavior. It's also very itchy.
4/7

Oaken Embrace
Enchantment — Aura (C)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2.
: Enchanted creature gains hexproof until end of turn.

Vigorous Tusker
Creature — Beast (U)
Trample
You may cast ~ for during The Verdant Nimbus.
The beasts repay their debt to Lilja the only way they know; with ferocity.
4/3

Pine Pillar
Land (U)
When ~ enters the battlefield, The Verdant Nimbus appears. (During this phenomenon, lands have ": Add P to your mana pool.")
: Add to your mana pool.

Echo of the Wilds
Creature — Dryad (R)
Whenever a land enters the battlefield, you may have ~ become a copy of it until end of turn.
She is the envoy of nature, speaking on behalf of those who have no voice.
1/3

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 2:15 am 
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Not a fan of the Verdant Nimbus because out of all the phenomena, it's the most likely to screw you over when suddenly deactivated. Losing haste on all your creatures is a minor inconvenience. Losing your manafixing is brutal. What if this phenomenon was Eladamri's Vineyard or Heartbeat of Spring or Rites of Flourishing instead?

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 Post subject: Re: Veltrum
PostPosted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 6:14 am 
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I agree, I don't like it either. Ideally, I wouldn't want players to rely on it for their mana fixing for spells, but I'm not sure if that is feasible. It's not really needed, so I could technically just discard it, although I would prefer to have 5 rather than 4 phenomena.
They should all be effects that you could get from 1 mana though, and Heartbeat of Springs certainly isn't. Rites of Flourishing is also a stretch, but my primary objection against it is that The Twin Moons in some ways already covers it. I don't like Vineyard because I want sorcery-speed phenomena to have immediate benefit, and wording such a thing properly can't be pretty.

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