So, decided to go ahead and knock the last one out! FtV Armory will probably get its own new thread once I'm in a spot to actually put them out regularly.
The Last of All
Also referenced as: Nothing There is something chilling about learning of a dead world. To find some mention of a world that is no longer there, or to happen across one in our travels. It is bad enough to stand on a world such as that, one that has passed away, but it is so much worse to know that it died a violent death. Imagine holding a world like that in your hand and feel the horrible malignance and hatred of a murdered world. That is what the Last of All is. It is the remnant, the final fragment of a world that died horribly, overwhelmed by evil.
And all that evil, the distilled malevolence that destroyed an entire plane, is contained within that shard. To look at it, you would never believe the horror it was capable of. It is small, small enough to hold between thumb and forefingers, but holding it would be an unspeakable mistake. The terrible presence of it is indescribable and words fail me to tell you of the dread it holds.
I have had little luck of learning what plane it might have once been. I can only tell you of the abattoir it had turned the temple I discovered it in into. On Kamigawa, in the most secluded reaches of the Jukai Forest, there stood a temple that had weathered the ravages of ages and war <see attached: Kami War>. When I was drawn to investigate the rumors of its reported silence, I found nothing more than a strange miasma and hundreds dead inside. The stone sat serenely under the wooden visage of the temple’s patron, the only thing out of place besides the poor men and women slaughtered by it. I have no clue what happened, but the desolation was palpable and the Last of All was obviously its epicenter.
I’ve given it to Maral hoping she can unlock some of the secrets it might have and find some way to stop it.
(I have no intention of trying to unlock the "mysteries" of this damned thing! All attempts to destroy it have failed. I suppose if something survives the death of the world, there’s nothing I can do that could harm it. I’ve buried the damned thing as deeply as I can under enough wards to keep anything from getting in or out. -Maral)
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
"I can only tell you of the abattoir it had turned the temple I discovered it in into."
This sentence reads really awkwardly to me, and you might consider reworking it slightly. Otherwise, though, I like this one a lot.
Yeah, I'm fully aware of how awkward that one is, but I tried to figure out how to fix it repeatedly and never got anywhere with it. By all means, if anybody has a suggestion to fix it, I'm totally open to it.
So, with the last one there, I'm also going to ask people to rank their top five favorites. I have a feeling the Coin is going to be a leading contender.
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
"I can only tell you of the abattoir it made of the temple where it rested." "I can only tell you of the abattoir it made of the temple where I found it." "I can only tell you what I saw in the temple where I found it. It had turned the place into little more than an abattoir."
Any of those help at all? I don't think that last one's all that good, but I threw it in, just in case.
Also, a ranked list is forthcoming, but I'm not sure when.
Okay, here is my ranked list. This is based mostly on a gut reaction at the time I complied it, and I might well change my mind if ever I were to rank them again, but for now, here you go:
#5
The Nocturne Wheel - I think this one has a lot of narrative potential, and I think the effect is fresh and unique.
#4
The Winter Heart - I really enjoy primal element stuff, and the backstory helps place this one near and dear to me!
#3
The Inferno Amulet - Again, big fan of lots and lots of the basic elements like fire. I love the destructive visual of this one.
#2
The Last of All - Wonderfully bleak and dark. I'm always a fan of post-apocalyptic stuff. Seeing the aftermath of the destruction of a world is always interesting, and seeing that condensed into a single, small object is really cool.
#1
Chaos Ring - Far and away my favorite. The visual he is so powerful, so crazily cinematic in a good way. I really hope someone writes a story for this at some point. Very evocative. Very good.
So, as I've been working on the Armory, I've had these feelings of discontent over some of the artifacts I've already put together here. The one that bothers me the most is the Soulstone, so I'm formally appealing to whoever wants to help me, to rewrite the ones that I feel are the weakest.
The core concept needs to remain the same, but I'm fairly unattached to details on the ones that I'm looking to alter.
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
The Soulstone is at the top of the list. Reining in some of the abilities so that, while it does basically the same thing, it doesn't seem so all over the place, and the history it has needs some serious work, or just a complete rewrite.
The Hand of Light and Shadow probably needs a few turns of the crank to tighten things up.
The Archangel's horns could use some smoothing out in the history section, since it feels a little wrinkly in places.
Everything else I'm pretty satisfied with. The Soulstone, ultimately, is the problem child.
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
Also referenced as: The Truthseeker, The Enchanter’s Gem If you were to see the soulstone at a bazaar on any number of worlds, it would seem an innocuous bauble. A simple rose gem (heart cut –M), not especially brilliant, whose only remarkable feature is the size. It would seem easy to miss, except to those who know the touch of magic. Amid the flotsam and jetsam of countless trinkets, the soulstone draws those with power to it.
The stone allows its bearer to see to the soul of a thing and manipulate that soul, to draw forth its true potential... or snuff it out. It claims dominion over life and death, truth and lie. One could live forever with the stone's power, but it cannot stop one’s aging. It can command the dead to rise, but never offer true life. It can shield others from harm and end their lives with the same thought. The most subtle of all its power is to realize the absolute truth, to strip away falsehood and touch the soul of all things. It is this reason why it can draw forth the true potential of a soul, to remove that which stops one from achieving their highest potential. It is for that reason that beings of power have sought the stone for as far back as anyone can remember.
The exact origin of the soulstone is lost to the ages. The first mention I can find of the stone speaks of it as an item with considerable history, but of those events, I can find no trace. The tale was about the rise of a demonlord, already potent in his own right. However, bearing the stone gave him command of an undead army that made him nearly unstoppable.
Nearly.
One of his own acolytes turned against him just on the cusp of his victory. Using the stone, she bound their souls together and sealed him within herself. Without their patron, the cult was broken, the acolytes and priests fleeing before the assembled might meant to repel the undead army that fell useless upon the battlefield. The army of machines meant to defend the nation laid waste to the lesser demons that attempted to finish the demonlord's work.
One would think that would be the end of the story, but it doesn't truly end there. The gem’s power awakened something inside the young woman, a nascent spark flared to life because of its power. The next chapter of the journey takes something of an unexpected turn. The gem ended up in the hands of an accomplished healer on another world, presumably gifted stewardship of the stone by the young woman, though no mention of the exchange can be found. He began a grimoire studying the stone's capabilities, but as time wore on, the tome became his personal journal and when he died, it was passed to his daughter along with the stone. So it went for generations, until I arrived.
Only 2 of his descendents remained, a mother and daughter. The younger had inherited the burden, and though she was an accomplished healer like her ancestor, she did not wish to bear the responsibility given to her. She gave me both the stone and grimoire and seemed happy to be rid of the relic that had burnt out the potential of a once proud lineage.
aaaaaand there we go. I think this works a little better than the previous iteration, tying some things together and streamlining some of the narrative, but let me know what you think.
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
Joined: Aug 04, 2014 Posts: 1452
Identity: human
Preferred Pronoun Set: he
Wow really like this.... the writing and the idea are both superb.... The Sword of Truth comes to mind from both the idea and especially the writing style !
Wow really like this.... the writing and the idea are both superb.... The Sword of Truth comes to mind from both the idea and especially the writing style !
What's a Ba(n)gel? A chest strap thingy?
A bangle is sort of like a bracelet, usually metal, although I believe it could be any hard material. They're typically worn on the wrist, though you could also have bangles for the ankles.
Wow really like this.... the writing and the idea are both superb.... The Sword of Truth comes to mind from both the idea and especially the writing style !
Thanks, though I think the second series has more solid writing, though that's just because of the more personal nature of the pieces.
Still, glad that you liked it!
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At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost. Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind. To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"
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