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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 1:59 am 
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I refer to this as a shifting setting because I am curious to see what clicks and what needs to be better implemented

Vuurqorra

Vuurqorra is a southern continent, whose geography includes three volcanos, tar pits, and sulfurous springs, firelit jungles to the north and smoldering bayous to the south. Three human tribes inhabit Vuurqorra derived from a single great tribe called the Vuurath. The northernmost are the Vuur Slang, the southernmost are the Vuur Draak while the Vuur Akkedis live in the heart of Vuurqorra. The humans of Vuurqorra face myriad threats from the vuka, Eloko, and kongamato. The Vuurath beast of burden is the xathrin, a reptile and natural enemy to the kongamato. Vuur Slang, Vuur Draak and Vuur Akkedis are ruled by the Forgelords: the Thunderlord, the Firelord, and the Ashlord.
Legends of the Vuurath Lords


Flamekin


Goblins' Beasts of Burden


Goblins


Dragons


Vuurathi Beasts of Burden


I'm still doing a write up on the Ashlord myth. Ideas are welcome.

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"...the historians will write of our suffering, and they will speak of it as the suffering of those who served the Crippled God. As something … fitting. And for our seeming fanaticism they will dismiss all that we were, and think only of what we achieved. Or failed to achieve.

And in so doing, they will miss the whole **** point.”


Last edited by Cateran on Tue Aug 12, 2014 7:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 5:40 am 
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This setting needs to be formatted and summarized. The wall of text is kind of daunting.

The exotic names build an air of mystique, but they just ended up confusing me. While you can keep the names as native names if you want, I think you should just refer to the races as lizards, goblins and dragons so you don't have to constantly refer to the guide at the bottom.

I think there's a lot of potential in this primitive volcanic island setting, but you need to explain what it means for M:EM writers. A good setting has lots of story nuggets that you can hook onto and expand. That means factions with different goals and constant possible threats to the status quo. Here I just see a "tribes vs. dragons" story, which is a cool hook but doesn't seem very exciting or deep in the long run.

You've clearly put a lot of effort into this. Good luck, however it turns out!

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 7:21 am 
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Thank you. There is are a couple of hooks present: the Eloko's constant drive for industry vs the Vuurath's perceived move toward more mundane weaponry. Another would be the schism in the ranks of the Eloko shaman concerning trade with foreigners from Jingreishen. In which case my goals are now:

- Flesh out the Vuur Draak, Vuur Akkedis and Vuur Slang

- Settle on a myth for the Ashlord

***

I've outlined each tribes' underlying motives. These will probably be buried beneath custom and ritual determined by the tribes' environment.

Moonfolk


Goblins


Kithkin


Snakes


Ogres


Entropic Genesis


Thank you for your comments on the goblins, Arcades. My goal with their culture is to make it alien so that they don't come across as "just humans with a weird quirk."

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"...the historians will write of our suffering, and they will speak of it as the suffering of those who served the Crippled God. As something … fitting. And for our seeming fanaticism they will dismiss all that we were, and think only of what we achieved. Or failed to achieve.

And in so doing, they will miss the whole **** point.”


Last edited by Cateran on Tue Aug 12, 2014 6:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2014 6:04 pm 
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It looks like you have a lot of ideas here but it is hard to see the overall picture. Each snippet you have lacks the context needed to explain it. The elementals and "entropic birthing cycle," for example, are not explained. What is the hinted conflict between magic and technology and where do the different species stand on that conflict? What is the overall kind of technology, and of magic, used in this setting?

Much of your phrasing is also very difficult to understand.

This would be much easier to read if you wrote an overview of the setting to give context to the little snippets, and rewrote the sentences to make them clearer and easier to understand.

I can see that you are going for a setting inspired by sub-Saharan African myths, although I don't know more specifically than that. I don't mind the nomenclature (it worked fine in Kamigawa and Lorwyn/moor in my opinion). The Eloko philosophy looks to be potentially very interesting but, because it is alien, needs to be explained much more clearly.

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Unless I'm trying to be sarcastic or humorous, most of my posts are extremely literal. Please don't "read between the lines" because there's nothing in there.
If something isn't extremely explicit and blatant then I wasn't thinking it. I'm incapable of sublety and don't know how to imply things. I never knowingly "imply" anything, ever.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 9:57 am 
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@Arcades Sabboth: Which pieces of phrasing stand out as being especially murky? The snippets from each tribe are developer's notes. When I get around to designing the other continents, they will help me build the tribes' cultures and determine how they interact with one another and with humans.

Magic vs Technology: I'm actually shooting for the trope's middle ground. Vuurath technology is their means of harnessing magic in order to survive the dangers of Vuurqorra. The Eloko use primitive equivalents of Isochron Scepter, whereas the Vuurath manufacture artifacts in the vein of Pyrite Spellbomb, Lifespark Spellbomb and the other spellbombs. Eloko associate the scepter with Mokeballa's reproductive organ; this makes the phallic scepter a symbol of power and creation.

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"...the historians will write of our suffering, and they will speak of it as the suffering of those who served the Crippled God. As something … fitting. And for our seeming fanaticism they will dismiss all that we were, and think only of what we achieved. Or failed to achieve.

And in so doing, they will miss the whole **** point.”


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 10:02 am 
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Cateran, almost all the phrasing is hard to parse. And it would really help to write an overview of the setting, even just the continent. Without the context of an overview, none of the snippets really make sense.

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Unless I'm trying to be sarcastic or humorous, most of my posts are extremely literal. Please don't "read between the lines" because there's nothing in there.
If something isn't extremely explicit and blatant then I wasn't thinking it. I'm incapable of sublety and don't know how to imply things. I never knowingly "imply" anything, ever.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2014 10:08 am 
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An overview covering the roles of the three human tribes, goblins and flamekin within the continent? I can throw out quite a bit of information, though I wouldn't know if its addressing everything that needs addressing. I don't mean for this to come across as snippy, but if you could be specific I'd be glad to add whatever you need to the OP. :sweat:

Edit: When I began working on Vuurqorra, I wanted to create something that harkened back to the acid trip swords and sorcery of the 60's-70's.

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"...the historians will write of our suffering, and they will speak of it as the suffering of those who served the Crippled God. As something … fitting. And for our seeming fanaticism they will dismiss all that we were, and think only of what we achieved. Or failed to achieve.

And in so doing, they will miss the whole **** point.”


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 11:21 am 
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Ah, honestly it's hard to get into specifics, Cateran, because what we really need is... nonspecific information. What exactly is this plane? I don't... I don't get it. It's too hard to parse what you've got up because you're referencing all these concepts that haven't been explained at all.

What you really need right now is an elevator pitch. If we're in an elevator together, how do you summarize this world? Think like... three sentences, tops.


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