This a fun game I saw on the old forums

This a fun game I saw on the Giant in the Playground forums. It's fun and simple:

Poster A posts a solution to the previous problem, and a new problem.

Poster B solves the problem, and posts a new one.

And so on.

However, when solving the problem, it must involve sacrificing minions somehow.

Example:

Poster A: You can't reach the shelf at the top of the room.

Poster B: I sacrifice minions until I have a ramp of bodies to climb up.

You are out of minions.

Poster C: I kill someone else, take there minions, then light some of those minions on fire for a funeral pyre for the person I killed.

You lost the car keys.


And so on. I'll go first.


You want a sandwich, but don't have any bread left.

Too lazy to get up and go shopping, I send out 10 of my minions to go buy bread. Unfortunately, my minions are unfamiliar with the conventional means of acquiring bread. 2 of them are run over crossing the street to get to the bank, one is shot during the bank robbery (oops, I guess I forgot to give them some money), another dies as roadkill while mourning his fallen comrades during the return crossing (since the grocery store is next door to my lair), 3 choke on produce inside the grocery store (still not understanding that food isn't free), and I sacrifice one of the last two to return as punishment for taking so long. The last I leave alive to pass on the legend of the fateful Bread-Buying Debacle to future generation's of minions.

You are on an airline flight, near the back of the plane, and the flight attendants are passing out complimentary peanuts but supply runs out before they reach your row.

I glare at the flight attendant, dissapointed at the inconvenience, but eventually calm down and make a comprimise as I calm down and ask them to fry up the minions that decided to stow away in my carry on luggage.

They made me leave all my fun souvenirs behind anyways.

You need to find a way to replace your souvenirs from your most recent success over your evil overlord rival.

Send wave after wave of minions into the overlords previous home and have them trigger all the traps, then pull out the souvenirs from their corpses and take them home.

You need to get a new roll of toilet paper from the hallway, but you're stuck on the toilet.

~SE++

I call upon one minion to get the TP for me, simple enough. But then I drown the minion in turd-water and flush him down with the rest, leaving no evidence of my rather embarrassing situation. Master can't afford to look weak.

*taps fingers together repeatedly with a wicked look on face*

"No one will... ever... know..."

It starts raining and you find you have a leak in your roof and apparently nothing with which to fix it.

Skin enough minions to fit their hides over the roof and remain dry inside.

You have no access to a phone but need to warn your evil partner, who is one mile away, of danger as fast as you can.

~SE++

Akin to lighting the Beacons in LotR: The Two Towers, I line up my minions between my evil partner and myself (about 100 meters between each, so about 16 minions), and have each one light himself on fire to send the message (never mind that just sending one as a courier would be simpler).

You have a whole pineapple, but no immediately evident way of getting to the delicious fruity interior.

Kill a minion, take its bones, make a knife and slice the pineapple. Just for good measure, use the bone knife to remove its head, scoops the brains out and put the pineapple in there for the sweet, sweet taste.

A nuclear missile is headed to your base of operations and power has been cut.

~SE++

Trick my minions into dog piling me and hope for the best when the blast comes.

You spiked weapon assembly line has busted. Gears, belts, chains, a lot of things. How do you fix it?

Send my minions out into the city with no food, water or shelter and tell them to perform on the street and get stranger's coins for it until we have the $19,000,000 to fix the machine, and not to come back or rest or eat until they have accomplished it. After that, just buy a new one.

Your oven was destroyed and you need to cook a turkey.

~SE++

Leeeeeet's barbecue!!!

Toss a few dozen minions in the fire pit (in place of charcoal) and light 'em up. You don't even need starter fluid! Nothing makes for a great turkey like the robust aroma of charred minion fur.

For added flavor, marinade overnight in minion blood. Mmm-mmm!

You get pulled over for speeding - again - and this time you'll have your license revoked unless you can "minion [your way] out of it."

Just before the cop pulls me over I stab the minion in the passenger seat through the heart. I explain to the cop that I had to get to the hospital as fast as I could to save his precious little life. Maybe I'll get a police escort out of it

Your girlfriend wants you to come visit her parents for the holiday, but you're too busy putting the finishing touches on your death ray. Find a way out of it that is somehow fatal to your minions.

Send the unfinished death ray that blows up everyone in the room to your girlfriend's house along with some minions for operating it.

I'm losing a game of mtg!!!

Fortunately, the person I am playing against happens to be one of my minions. I shoot him in the head and yell "Next!" Until I am out of minions or I win the game.

You are about to throw a party, but forgot to buy party streamers, and you don't have enough time to go buy more before the first guest arrives.

Simple! I just rebrand the party as a murder mystery party! I let my minions mingle with the guests to start the party, then have one mention the lack of streamers. I then cut the lights and have another one of my minions gruesomely murder the original minion. This will start the festivities and warn the other guests of the dangers of being impolite, as well as provide an excellent excuse to show off my new stables when we ride down the guilty minion and kill him with dire wolves after dinner.

Pluto is no longer a planet! What will you do?

Simple! Cancel the manned mission to Pluto, as it is no longer necessary to build a secret base there. Of course, this means sending the self-destruct code to the ship that was already en-route there, which had about a hundred minions inside.

On to plan B: Build a secret Mars base instead!

Ooh, I read about Mars! It lacks oxygen. I also read about the Italian campaign in WWII and how they acclimatized soldiers to the low oxygen, high altitude environment by training them in the Rockies. Since Mars has way less breathable air than Italy I'll have to use an oxygen deprivation chamber to acclimatize my minions.

I can't get the lid of a jar of pickles

You make your minions do it. 99 die in the attempt but the 100th succeeds.

I need to reach the bottom of Challenger Deep. For SCIENCE.

Simple. I stitch together a few hundred of the schlubs into an airtight sphere and take it down to the bottom. Actually, I'll get a minion to test it out first.

I want some fresh Chinese food from China.

You send 100 minions on 100 different planes. You forget to check the destinations but process of elimination right? At least one of them must get there and back eventually.



I need a new microwave. FOR SCIENCE