@Squinty: You are a relentless tease.
Heh, so I am. But to be honest, most of the stories are more interesting in concept than in the full tale, because your mind makes up much more interesting tales of silly events. But, let's get a few of them out of the way, and perhaps one day I'll tell more terribly boring stories from my life.
(1) I got hit in the head with a bullet. Okay, so this story is really just a tease, because it was actually kinda boring and a little pathetic for me. I had never fired a handgun before a few months ago, so my buddy brought me to the firing range with his nine millimeter and showed me how it worked. He showed me loading the clip, the safeties, and all the little things about it. It held eight rounds, and then he gave me a paper target and sent it halfway down the firing range. I held the pistol out, unsure of how it would feel, and actually quite sure I would soil myself since it's loud and a little intimidating since I had never fired one before. I squeeze the trigger, the shot fires, and I hit the red zone on the target with my first shot. I was elated. But now that I knew how the recoil would feel, it tainted my next shot severely, because I tried to anticipate it, and when the gun fired my arms moved up enough that when the shell ejected, it flew out and struck me across the forehead. Thus, I was only hit by the shell. See? Boring.
Moral of the story: Squinty is a poor shot.
(2) I had a gun pulled on me while playing a video game. So, I'm a big fan of the game Ingress on Android. If you've never seen anyone play, it's what they call an augmented reality game, because you actually have to go out into the world and visit locations to play. It's meant to be social, but there are times when you just hand out and play it yourself. Well, there's level 1 through 8 portals to go visit, and near my house in a parking lot for the Homeowner's Offices, there was a level 7 portal. It's fairly late at night, but there are streetlights and a bench by it, so I drove over, parked and hung out on the bench. The portal had been augmented to be able to be used repeatedly for more goodies, and the cooldown reduced to the point where I didn't have to wait, I could just keep going for about half an hour getting more and more gear in the game. Well, about ten minutes in a white car pulls up and a police officer gets out. He's in uniform, but in his civilian car. He asks me what I'm doing, and I explain I'm playing a game. He than asks for my ID, I slowly stand up and reach for my wallet, and pull it out, no sudden movements. But when I finish and go to take out the ID for him, he get's nervous and pulls his sidearm and points it at my chest and tells me to get out. If you've never had a gun pulled on you, there's that cold feeling you get in your stomach that's not a pleasant thing to ever feel. I slowly back away and head to my car, I look back and the entire way he's holding his pistol on me until I leave.
Moral of the story: Gaming can get violent.
(3) I broke my spine when I was a teenager. I was in my senior year of high school, and it was winter. I was driving to school, and decided to stop at Dunkin Donuts for a cup of coffee and a bagel. It was freezing cold out in Massachusetts, so it seemed like a good idea at the time. On my way back to my car, well, apparently they didn't salt their parking lot, because I slipped on some black ice. Now, in this situation, most people would drop their coffee and bagel and brace for impact. They'd either fall forward and throw their hands out in front of them, or fall backwards and try to roll onto their shoulder (which they shouldn't do, they should fall flat and slap out both arms to spread the impact as wide as possible, but most people don't know that). Well, I chose option C, which was to slide forward and land on one knee, good and hard. It hurt, but I thought nothing of it and went on my way to school, coffee and bagel still in hand.
The next day my back began to hurt, and I wrote it off. It continued to intensify for about a month, and I continued to ignore it. One day in January, I was walking to the dinner table and my left leg stopped working and I fell. I had no idea what to do, and honestly, I was a little bothered that my left leg didn't function. My parents took me to the doctors, who x-rayed my leg, and said it was fine. Well, over the next half year, the pain worsened and I could only use my left leg on a good day. Finally, in the fall, a doctor at Mass general Hospital figured it out, and sent me for yet another MRI. This time, they checked my spine. Yada yada yada, technical crap, the end result was this: When I fell, saving my coffee and bagel, my spine was perfectly straight with the knee that hit the ground. That impact caused my disks in my L4 and L5 region to rupture, which sent all that lovely fluid out into my spine, and cut off my nerves that controlled my left leg. I lost over and inch of mass from the circumference of my leg, but finally they restored most of its functionality, though I still can't feel all of it. They told me to get a wheelchair and walkers, but I wasn't a fan, so I spent years in physical therapy learning how to compensate with my right leg, and now I walk just fine. Well, unless I go long distances, then I need a cane.
Moral of the story: Coffee is good enough to save.
(4) I got sued in a Federal courthouse for $750,000. This is a long one, maybe another time, but hey, after reading those, you see they're kinda boring stories after all. Maybe I won't bother typing this one out, it took over four years of my life to deal with, who wants to have to sit through reading that? Not I.
~SE++