Round Three

Walking Dead is in four days!!!!!!?!!! No one cares.

Create me a card that involves discarding large amounts of your hand. Interpret as you will.

Pick a Card!
Sorcery
Each player discards his or her hand and draws seven cards. Then, select a card at random from each player’s hand. Each player discards all unselected cards in his or her hand.
"You liked my puzzle box? Wait until you see this next trick!" - Teferi

Uuuuuugh... To be fair, the winners of this round were more process of elimination rather than stand out victors. However, for what it's worth, here's why you were granted the win:

When I started this criteria, I expected three main archetypes. The Eldrazi. The Dracos. The Worldfires. And I was pretty much right. Your card being one of the Worldfires. While both you and Ogre had similar concepts, yours stood out because of one main reason. Flavor. The Golgothian Sylex has its own card, but it was never done to proper justice. This apocalypse to set the tone for all of Magic, and you did it absolutely perfectly in terms of flavor. The card, mechanically, still has glaring flaws, but its flavor is almost impeccable.

flavour sucks

Go back to playing Space, the Convergence!

Fleeting Thoughts -
Enchantment
At the beginning of each end step, each player discards his or her hand then draws as many cards as he or she discarded this way.
"Wait...wait...I'VE GOT IT! No, sorry no its gone now."

edit: i just realized this is **** teferi's puzzle box goddamn it

ded gaem

Steam of Consciousness |
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast ~, you may pay . If you do, take an extra turn after this one.
Each player discards their hand and draws 7 cards.

Is already a thing..

stream
[streem] Show IPA
noun
1.
a body of water flowing in a channel or watercourse, as a river, rivulet, or brook. Synonyms: rill, run, streamlet, runnel.


steam
[steem] Show IPA
noun
1.
water in the form of an invisible gas or vapor.


REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKT

Yep, there go my reading skills apparently.

I give jelly -10 points for that criteria, such that he is in last place in his own contest. I can totally do that.

Forage Bodies
Enchantment
When ~ enters the battlefield, discard your hand. For each black mana symbol and green mana symbol in those cards mana costs, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature you control.
Creatures you control with +1/+1 counters on them have hexproof.

Mindcrack Epiphany |
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast Mindcrack Epiphany, discard three cards.
Draw three cards.
Would you find out what might happen tomorrow if you forgot the reason why?

Horrifying Figment

Creature - Illusion Horror
As an additional cost to cast Horrifying Figment, discard your hand. Horrifying Figment enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter for each card discarded this way.
When Horrifying Figment deals combat damage to a player, that player discards that many cards.
0/0

Bifurcated Rememberance
Sorcery
Search your library for two cards with different names, reveal them, then put them into your hand. Then shuffle your library.
Reveal your hand and target opponent separate it into two piles. Keep one pile and discard the other.
I dreamt I was adrift at sea, only to wake in the fetid sinks of my youth. On this plain, which is true? It is madness to choose both, yet sanity is too barren.
- Kulloth, Dauthi Ascendent

One with Oblivion -
Sorcery
Draw your library. Then, exile ~ and discard your hand.
When being one with nothing just wasn't enough.

Circle of Protection: Teflon
Enchantment {Unwrapped Uncommon}
, discard a card, shout "Teflon!": Prevent all damage from a source of your choice, or counter target spell. You must use this once per turn ability if able.

That doesn't work the way you want it to, even in un-world. I'm pretty sure you can't have an ability that has to go back in time and fix the board state if you fail to plan for it correctly.

As an example, I could tap all but one mana casting a spell that changes the battlefield, then attack, the do all kinds of other non-spell things that were dependent on that first spell going off, then when I go to end my turn, I'd have to somehow go back in time and counter my own spell because my opponent didn't try to cast anything like I was banking on and I had to use that ability if I was able (and I was) and now the time vortex is broken and Dr. Who is yelling something about the Pandorica and Bill and Ted are riffing guitar solos in my year.

Spurn Tradition
Sorcery
As an additional cost to play Spurn Tradition, discard any number of cards.
Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature for each card discarded in this way.
To forsake your past to secure your future is to leave the village behind.