Steinhauser... that flavor text!

I need to stop voting for Shazzeh.
But not yet.

Parad. A card that could be printed anywhere, but fits into our set themes! Fits better than it does in it's original set! That's what reprints are all about.

If I had known about Chain Reaction, I would've costed mine at 4 cmc. I kept thinking about the red spells that destroy EVERYTHING and they cost 6 and above. *facepalm*

Final Tally:

Steinhauser: 4
thatmarkguy: 3
Shazzeh: 1.5
Parad: 1

And Steinhauser takes it! Sandquake has been added to the spoiler.

Please pick a rarity and write a criterion for the next round.

So from my count, in red we have

4 small common creatures
1 large common creature
1 common burn spell

1 small uncommon creature

1 small rare creature
1 sweeper

Alright let's see. Make a common noncreature, non-burn spell.

I think this criterion is what Mark Rosewater once said was the single hardest category of cards to design, because Red has the smallest piece of the color wheel. Let's expand that piece, shall we?

Basilisk Breath –
Instant (C)
Target creature becomes an artifact until end of turn. (It loses its other card types.)
The basilisk lurks under the sand, waiting for unsuspecting passerby to breathe its poison and turn to stone. They become its eternal captives, miles below the surface of the sand.

[Cardname]
Instant
Destroy Target Artifact
Target creature gets +2/+0 and first strike until the end of turn.

This seems more like something blue would do. Kind of like how blue got the mistform creatures in Onslaught. Mind you, I could see chaotic red taking over this part of blue's pie.

Functional reprint...

Burning Blades --
Instant (C)

Attacking creatures get +2/+0 until end of turn.

Many commanders have their soldiers spend hours in Illpyre before battle. It helps them feel cooler elsewhere, but more importantly adds a searing heat to their blades.

Well, we probably want at least one common artifact hate card in the set.

Melt for Scrap
Instant
Destroy target artifact. Add to your mana pool an amount of equal to that artifact's converted mana cost.

Shatter Shot -
Sorcery
Destroy target artifact. If an opponent controls an artifact creature, you may cast ~ as though it has flash.

I would actually put it into White if I weren't actively trying to bend the color pie a little. It's basically target creature can't attack or block this turn.

Bringing this back again.

Eject
Instant
Destroy target artifact. Put a Relic artifact token onto the battlefield. (Relics have no abilities.)
The most precious of treasures are always held closest to the heart.

Sorcery
Up to two target creatures can't block this turn and must attack during their controllers next turns if able.

This should cantrip.

Song of Blood
Sorcery (C)
Put the top four cards of your library into your graveyard.
Whenever a creature attacks this turn, it gets +1/+0 until end of turn for each creature card put into your graveyard this way.

Pumps your creatures more the more creatures you're running, and dumping extra creatures into your graveyard works really well with the intimidate viashino in black. graveyard creatures should totally be an archetype. Works well with oblation, too.

When red has turned things into artifacts before, they became colorless. I think there was a Kavu in Invasion who did this to himself.

Viashino Surprise Attack
Sorcery
Put three 1/1 red viashino scout creature tokens onto the battlefield.
Until end of turn, creatures you control have haste.
Travelers in the desert fear the viashino most of all. The sandscouts can appear at any time, with no warning.

The instant/Sorcery limited deck would benefit from some dragon fodder-style cards.

Solar Flash
Sorcery (C)
Target creature can't block this turn.

That's strictly worse than Stun.