Clockwise from left: Astral by James "If-not-for-Gravity" Henderson, Mesmeric by Jennie "sweetcivic" Yuen, Flameheart by Jessica "ArtLair" Feinberg, Shepherd by Anthony "Ubermonster" Francisco, and Foundry by Sarah "sarahfinnigan" Finnigan
So, I've got a set/block in the works, and right now it's open for development by anyone! I started with a post over at MTGSalvation, but two communities are better than one, right?
This is the story thread. Mechanics should be developed over in the Mentalis Mechanics development thread. This thread will be for worldbuilding of Mentalis itself, as well as developing the stories behind the different factions, and the history of the plane. We will eventually be discussing story down to the level of individual characters.
So here's the story/flavor we have so far. EVERYTHING is subject to change as we all discuss, improve, and develop
The plane is Mentalis, and it is filled with creatures who have all focused their mana on a particular area of specifically psychic ability. Each color represents a different faction which has honed a different psychic skill. They are listed below.
Current Faction Descriptions
Spoiler
The Astral Tribunal: The Astrals are a small group who, along with their followers in the Tribunal, have focused their abilities on photokinesis--that is, light manipulation. Long ago, Mentalis's sun burned out, and the plane was shrouded in darkness. Only the Astrals had the power to channel their psychic energy--with the help of the Astral Spire--to bring light to Mentalis once more. Because they are, in essence, the life-givers of the entire plane, they have the power to keep order.
The Mesmerics: The Mesmerics are a group of mages who have focused their abilities on mental manipulation. That is, they excel at creating illusions and hallucinations, and often use deceptive tactics to meet their ends. They are highly skilled at manipulating others through these illusions, and they do so often enough to stay behind the scenes in most of their work, even though they're quite infamous. They are playing a long game to take control of Mentalis from the Astrals--the have yet to figure out how to keep the Astral Spire running without the Astrals, and the Astrals have built a resistance against the Mesmerics' manipulations. They keep looking for new ways in, though, and they will persist until they are in control.
The Foundry of Damnation: Often just called the Foundry, this cult is filled with mediums--that is, creatures who commune with the dead and their spirits. In the Days of Light, the Foundry were once ruled by a great and powerful demonic master (who...we have yet to name, and have simply been calling Joe ). Some say the Foundry were responsible for the plane's darkness, an attempt to take control in the night. When the Astrals restored light to Mentalis, they banished Joe, and now the Foundry continually sacrifices victims left and right, guiding their souls to try and return Joe back to Mentalis and take their rightful place as rulers of the eternal night. (Potentially, the only souls powerful enough to bring Joe back are the souls of all the highest Astrals...which is a problem since the Foundry has so far been weaker than the Astrals). They have a turf war going on with the Soulburners (see below).
The Soulburners: (Name also subject to change--potentially soon to be the Flamehearts) The Soulburners are the brutes, rapists, thugs, and generally untouchable creatures in Mentalis. They have channeled their psychic abilities toward pyrokinesis, or fire manipulation. Like the element they control, their tempers are extremely hot. They are quick to lash out at and seek revenge for the tiniest of offenses--and almost everything offends them. Other citizens generally try to avoid them, but they're also often hired as bodyguards, assassins, and other jobs requiring a dearth of morality and a surplus of rage. The Foundry often consider the Soulburners ideal victims for their sacrifices, as no one cares enough to investigate a Soulburner's death. Meanwhile, Soulburners are constantly seeking revenge on the Foundry for these murders, leading to an ongoing turf war between the two factions.
The Silent Shepherds: The Silent Shepherds (or simply the Shepherds) live outside the boundaries of society. They prefer to live in harmony with nature, embracing life over ambition. They have developed their psychic abilities into an almost symbiotic relationship with nature and with each other, a psychic thread tying all life together. They have a disliking for each other faction for various reasons: they hate the Foundry because of their blatant disregard for life; they hate the Astral Tribunal because of their unnatural governmental restrictions; they hate the Mesmerics because of their conformance to minds rather than to nature; and they hate the Soulburners because of their chaotic and inharmonious nature. Although they're known for their nonviolence, preferring to simply live outside society rather than interrupt it, power struggles within the city have disrupted the Astrals' light source. This has caused the deaths of many plants, and through the food chain, ultimately many other forms of life as well. The Shepherds will be silent no more--they have decided to enter the city and destroy the creatures responsible for destroying the light. What they find is that every other faction plays a role in the disruption...and so it becomes them against all others, a true free-for-all.
Mentalis has some interesting creature type origin stories...
Whence Come the Myriad Creatures?
Spoiler
Fire elementals all used to be Flamehearts, but as their control of fire grew, so did their temper, until the very flames they controlled engulfed them, and all that was left was a blaze-filled shell in the shape of their old bodies.
Spirits normally pass on through the Darkveil into the afterlife, but because of the Foundry's messing with them to feed them to Joe (we need a better name for him), the Darkveil is unstable. Sometimes the Darkveil will spit out the souls of dead who have already passed over, leading to Spirits; other times, the dead can't even cross it, leading to Ghouls/Zombies.
Earth elementals are similar to golems in that they're created from the earth itself by the Shepherds, and imbued with intelligence as part of the Shepherds' usual harmonic psychic link.
Obviously, Illusions come from the Mesmerics. Also, the Djinn are not natural species on Mentalis. Djinn are Mesmerics who have become so powerful, honed their illusory skills so much, that they seem to bend reality to their will. Of course, it's all still just an illusion, so even though the Djinn provide wish-granting, it's almost always temporary. Usually, they grant the wish until you complete a favor for them, and then they take it away when you're done.
I wanted to complete the cycle of ideas here by connecting a creature type to the Astrals...but the Foundry have spirits, and I don't really know of a creature type that embodies light itself. So I thought, "Hey, why not introduce a new creature type?" Grin I don't know if we should make the Astrals themselves a creature type, or introduce one for the creatures they create... for now, I'll go with the latter and call them Luminals. The Luminals are creatures made of pure light. As light never stops moving, they all have vigilance. Most of them will have a non-keyworded mechanic representing their special ability: they can create a burst of light from within themselves that blinds their opponents, but if they do, it burns them out quickly. Mechanically, that means Luminals would have something like "[COST]: ~ can't be blocked until end of turn. Exile it at end of turn."
Now, first I'll open up the discussion by asking, "What are your thoughts of the story so far? What should be changed, why, and how?"
And then I'll say, "We need to fill the gaps!" Here are a few pieces of information we're missing:
1. Joe the Demon Master has a silly name. What is his real name and title?
2. We know a little about the history between the Foundry and the Astral Tribunal, but what about the other factions? What were they doing back when this war between night and day was happening? Why do the Mesmerics want to take control from the Tribunal?
3. So there's a turf war between the Foundry and the Flamehearts. What details can we find about this? Who was involved, how is it carried out, and what effects does it have on both factions (or others)?
4. A block needs a conflict. In this case, it seems that conflict if a power struggle that leads to a weakening light source on Mentalis. What is this struggle? Is it caused by the Mesmerists, the Foundry, or someone else? What's changed that this is happening suddenly after so long in relative stability?
5. Anything else?
Last edited by IceMetalPunk on Sat May 31, 2014 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
So, over in the Mechanics thread, storyteller pointed out an important plot hole. If fire emits light, then what makes the Astrals more powerful than the Flamehearts? My spontaneous workaround was "the Flamehearts only control heat, but their fire wouldn't emit light without the Astrals to provide it"...but yeah, that's clearly a forced workaround >_< .
So how do we explain this issue? My roommate suggested something on the basis of "fire destroys things, so it's not as pure as just light itself". How do we turn that into an answer here? Would it be okay if it were just, "Even the Flamehearts can't contain fire for long. It always burns whatever holds it, so it can't be channeled throughout the plane without destroying everything"? Or is that also too forced?
Mentalis is a cone-shaped plane. In the days of old, an unsetting sun sat atop The Tower, showering the plane's inhabitants with light and white mana. At the foot of The Tower, there was a huge kingdom surrounded by a lush forest, in which the Astrals, Mesmerics, and Shepherds lived in uneasy but sure cooperation, where many haughty Astrals believed themselves superior to others due to their ability to draw power from the sun. In the mean time, a group of those who were adverse to the light calling themselves the Foundry gathered underneath the kindgom, in the sewers and at the foot of a great demon by the name of "Joe", always plotting, though what they plotted none could fathom. Outside the bounds of the kingdom and beyond the reaches of the forest and the sun's light, was the dark continent, the extent of which none of the inhabitants could be sure of. All they knew were that monsters, beasts and beast-men seemed to spawn from the darkness without rest.
As time passed, the sun began to wane in power. For what reason, none could tell, though many of the kingdom's inhabitants suspected the Foundry for foul play. The three tribes immediately formed an army to hunt down the Foundry in the sewers. Despite being on familiar grounds, the difference in power of arms was too much to overcome, and the Foundry soon succumbed in war, with "Joe" sealed away by some obscure trick the Astrals pulled on them. The Foundry's remnants vowed revenge for their master, as well as their brethren who died in battle.
Though the perceived threat of the Foundry had been scattered, the waning of the sun saw no slowing. The Astrals, feeling the Sun in need, climb The Tower for the first time in recorded history, where they managed to preserve some of the sun's power before it went out completely. Nowadays, the Astrals keep a significant portion of their members in the Tower, constantly amplifying the salvaged power so that enough could be spared for the continuation of life on Mentalis. While seemingly of good intentions, the fact that they were essentially the ones keeping the plane alive, the Astrals' haughtiness grew with no bounds. They began to oppress the Mesmerics and the Shephards, and in particular, the Shephards, whose trees and plants needed the nourishing light of the sun, were forced to follow even the most unreasonable demands of the Astrals. In this, they were forced to move to the outskirts of the greatly reduced kingdom, in the small circle of trees that still remained alive in the weakened "sun"'s sphere of influence, forced to defend the kingdom from the fire beasts, whose numbers seemed to only grow as the darkness beyond the kingdom deepened. The Mesmerics fared better, not having to rely on light for their art's survival. They kept a sense of pragmatism to themselves, trading and tricking the other tribes for profit. The Foundry grew in power over time, as more and more Astrals were kept busy within the Tower, and more and more inhabitants grew tired of the Astrals' oppression.
To Recap:
Astrals - A race of photokinetics, whose abilities are honed in the creation and manipulation of light. A haughty kind from the beginning, their pride only grew in face of hardship, and fashioned themselves to be the rulers in their greatly darkened home plane. Since a great number of them are occupied at The Tower at all times, they send their agents, the Luminols, a race of artificially created light spirits, to do their bidding.
Mesmerics - A race of mesmers, whose abilities involve controlling other's minds and perceptions. They are masters of deceptions and a deeply pragmatic group, willingly bartering with the other races for profit, and not above a few tricks along the way. While they are on friendly terms with the Astrals, they are also not loath to trade with the Foundry, either. Their greatest arsenal lies in the creation of various illusions to deceive opponents, and the greatest of Mesmerics are capable of temporarily turning themselves into a djinn - a being of omnipotence, though one whose influence only lasts as long as its illusions are maintained. The Mesmerics recently began finding great enjoyment in experimenting with and betting on fighting fire beasts.
Shephards - A race that communicates with nature through their mind. They live peacefully in what is left of the forest, as what used to be a vast and far-reaching forest shrunk as the sun's lights reached shorter and shorter distances. With their ability, they can create golems out of mud and raise trees to aid them. They have been forced into a compromised position due to the trees' need for light, thus putting them at the mercy of the Astrals. They now station themselves at the edge of the kingdom, fighting off fire beasts almost constantly.
Foundry - A race whose powers deal with communion with the dead and supernatural beings, namely demons. Founded under a great demon by the name of "Joe", the Foundry was once destroyed in accusation of maiming the sun, with "Joe" sealed in the process. As the Astrals grew in power, so did the Foundry grow in numbers, as many disgruntled inhabitants turned to the Foundry. They situate themselves underneath the kingdom in the sewers, where they practice their dark arts, reanimating corpses and summoning demons to do their bidding. Recent trends seem to indicate that beast-mens from the Dark Continent have become popular sacrifices for the group's dark rites.
??? - The race of beasts and beast-men living in the darkness outside of the kingdom. Their powers are a those of pyrokinesis, though hardly any of them have developed-enough intelligence to make good use of their powers. Particularly powerful individuals of the race, however, have been known to suddenly erupt into flames at times of high emotion, turning into a blazing fire elemental. It is unknown how these beasts come to be, but their already seemingly infinite numbers only continued to grow as the sun wanes. In recent times, the Foundry have being using the beasts as sacrifices to their dark rites, while the Mesmerics derive enjoyment from them by pitting mind-controlled fire beasts against each other in secret rings. It is here that eruption of fire beasts is most often observed, except in the lands of the Dark Continent. In fact, fire elementals are treated as rare commodities among the Mesmerics. Though they meant danger to the mesmerics since they didn't have enough of a mind to trick or control, the light it afforded them outside the Astrals' influence brought prestige to any mesmeric who owned one.
As time passed, the Shephards came to understand that the fire beasts and beast-men were also part of the natural world, and began communicating with them. In the process, they have learned much more about the beasts' pyrokinesis, and the possibilty that they may be able to survive without aid from the Astrals. In the mean time, the Foundry finally succeeded in summoning "Joe" back to the plane, and "Joe" is none to happy about what the Astrals had done to him.
Or something like that. This is how I envisioned your plane while I read your setting. Seems too streamlined for each color ._.
So, I'm pretty much in love with what you've written. I only have one and a half issues with it (and considering how much you've written, that's like.... 1% XD ). The half-issue is we need to flesh out the "trick" that the Astral used to seal Hothaxis (the Master Demon... I'm suggesting a real name for him instead of Joe XD). My suggestion is this:
In the midst of the largest battle in the Dark War, the Astrals created their first Luminals to act as warriors. Hothaxis had never seen such a thing and wasn't sure what to make of them, but he reacted as he always did when faced with an enemy: he attacked. While the battle between the Hothaxis and the Luminals raged on, distracting the demon and his Foundry, the Astrals prepared a magical Seal. With enough power, this Seal would devour and contain just about anything in its center. While some Luminals distracted Hothaxis with their everlong fighting, others attached the Seal to the wings of Hothaxis himself. When all was set, the Luminals simultaneously burst forth their light, all at once, a radiant blast that blinded everyone for miles around. This light activated the Seal, capturing Hothaxis and imprisoning him indefinitely.
*EDITED SECOND HALF*
So now we come to the bigger problem. The red faction in your story. While making them all (or mostly) unintelligent solves the problem of why their fire's light hasn't usurped the Astrals yet, it creates a new problem. Now we have a faction in a world filled with psychic abilities...but there are virtually no sentient pyrokinetics. They're using the powers of their mind, but don't have a powerful mind to use. It seems...counterintuitive. From a more mechanical design perspective, it also means that red cards based around sentient creature types would be nonexistent--no pyromancers or intelligent elementals to speak of. Just the idea of an entire color/faction of nonsentient beings in a psychic-themed plane...doesn't sit right with me. Also, if they're used to their fire creating light, then why have they stayed mostly in the dark continents and avoided the sun's light?
It's interesting to me that red seems to be the hardest faction to design around in this set...then again, psychic abilities are based around mental control, while red is generally chaotic, so maybe that's part of why XD .
What if the Flamehearts (or whatever their name ends up being as their backstory develops) are about 40% sentient, 60% beastial? The sentient Flamehearts are part of society (only barely) and the beasts are either their pets or their hunted prey. The reason their pyrokinesis isn't usurping the Astrals is simply a mix of apathy and irascibility: basically, the light source needs to be steady and constant, but the Flamehearts are too chaotic to ever want to supply a steady light to anyone, even themselves. Also, the order and calm necessary to do so only makes them feel controlled and therefore angry at their controllers. So they aren't interested in trying to supply any kind of steady anything, let alone steady light for the entire plane, and anyone trying to make them do so...gets burned.
Does that work? It allows for all the aspects of pyrokinesis the faction embodies, while explaining why they haven't taken over from the Astrals, and also allows for some sentience to fit the psychic theme and allow them to live within society--at least, they live there, even if no one likes them living there xD .
I do like your Dark Continent idea, though... what if we make that the Foundry's headquarters, for lack of a better word? They use the city's underground sewers as a path between the city and the Dark Continent, gathering victims and bringing them to their homeland for the sacrificial rituals. The purpose of trying to eliminate the light was to expand their territory to engulf the entire plane, and now there's only the small area of city/forest that remains out of their control. Only Hothaxis can brig total darkness to Mentalis, so they continue their rituals in an attempt to get him back. A small number of Foundry members stay in the city, cloaked and covered to keep out the light, learning all they can about its inhabitants. This allows them to choose ideal victims without being bothered about it (usually Flamehearts), and it also constantly feeds them new information about the Astrals, which in turn gets them closer to learning how to break the Seal and set Hothaxis free. Whenever a scouting party comes into the city to gather new sacrifices, the Foundry that reside there pass on their information to take back to the Dark Continent.
Does that work? (I keep asking this because I don't think I know what works )
Lol. I only call myself storyteller cuz it was the first username (for nasakids) I ever chose for myself. I was in 4th grade at the time, and only recently started learning English.
Vs "Joe" seems fine.
I imagine the Dark Continent to be a place of little heat, and thus only the beasts can survive adequately. It might actually be quite the scenery to look out into the dark continent and see a field of small fires dotting the landscape like the stars dots the sky. On another note, I didn't mean to imply that the beasts/beast-men were not at all sentient. The beast-men do have some level of intelligence, but often choose to follow their emotions over their mind. Thus, they use pyrokinesis only as a tool of survival and battle rather than being able to realize the importance of fire as a source of light in the plane. I also imagine that the beast-men will learn to become more intelligent under the tutelage of the Shepherds.
Not too sure about the Foundry HQing in the Dark Continent. The premise was that no one knew what was out there. Perhaps there come be some revelation to come out of the bonding between the beast-men and Shepherds about what's on the other side of darkness. In the meantime, I imagined Foundry to be HQ'd in the sewers, and only ventured out onto the Dark Continent to capture fire beasts to use as sacrifice/sell to the Mesmerics, seeing as, once again, I imagined the Dark Continent to be a place unsuitable for habitation, except to the fire beast/beast-men. Demons and luminols would presumably have no trouble out there, though.
It's "Luminal", not "Luminol"... luminol is a chemical detectives use to find traces of blood and body fluids xD .
Okay, as long as there are some intelligent Flamehearts, it works. Except now there's another problem introduced >_< . The Foundry chooses the Flamehearts as an ideal sacrificial victim because no one cares about them enough to investigate. But if the Flamehearts are being taught and/or nurtured by the Shepherds...then they would care and investigate, wouldn't they?
Unless... ooh! Interesting thought! And a way we could combine our two concepts of the Flamehearts! So in the Dark Continent there are wild Flamehearts (and I guess some semi-wild caveman-type creatures). But some are being nurtured by the Shepherds, learning, gaining intelligence. And when they reach a highly sentient level, they venture into the city. Although they're intelligent enough now to join society, they are still slaves to their emotional, aggressive instincts. The ones that have passed into society become like the Flamehearts I described before, while the ones that remain wild and in the Dark Continent are like the ones you've described. The Shepherds are sort of the teachers, acting as guides to help them pass on. They're trying to instill a respect for nature into the Flamehearts, but have so far failed to do so, in the process merely enriching their minds but not their souls.
I think that's a fair compromise. The only thing is that I now have to rework some of the cards I've created (and posted). Specifically, I have a green/black card that's a Zombie Beast, with the flavor of originating from the Gap between the Shepherds' forests and the Foundry's Dark Continent. If the Dark Continent now belongs to wild Flamehearts instead...that doesn't work anymore. In fact, if the Foundry lives in the sewers of the city, and the Shepherds live in the forests outside the city...when would they ever meet? How can I justify green/black cards at all? >_<
Oh, no, that definitely is fine! But even in conflict, I feel like there has to be some way to justify every color combination, at least in the rare instance, so that the flavor doesn't limit the card design too much.
As it is now, anyone in the city can interact with each other, and the Flamehearts and Shepherds interact...so that's every combination except green with WUB. Three 2-color combinations that would be forced to be nonexistent in at least the first set in the block (after that, it can be justified as the Shepherds move into the city in retaliation for the waning light).
So really, I guess the question isn't specifically "how can G/B be justified?", but rather, "How can G/B, G/U, and G/W be justified?"
Why do you need to justify those color combinations? Are you planning on creating a whole bunch of gold cards? If not, it doesn't matter much. One or two gold cards can be exceptions rather than rules. And if you are... maybe you should be rethinking the way you've divided colors up.
Not "a whole bunch", but even if there's only two or three of each, how can those be justified? Even as an exception, they need to make sense. (At least...I really would be uncomfortable putting something in that doesn't make sense...that's the author in me, I guess).
I just think you're maybe overthinking things a little bit. One or two cards are, inherently, exceptions rather than rules, and they don't have to fit into the specific social system you've constructed.
Like, the major human character in the M:EM plane Jakkard is r/b despite humans being predominantly w/u/b. She's an exception, though, not a rule--a legendary character. There's no sense in rewriting the style guide to explicitly account for her exceptional case, when it's obvious that she's a deviation from the norm. Similarly, Tibalt is a devil planeswalker. This is EXPLICITLY FORBIDDEN by the rules of the spark. To make him possible, he was given a more complex backstory. Creative did NOT in contrast rewrite the rules of the spark in order to make Tibalt possible.
What you've got here is solid. Why screw it up in order to account for a few corner cases that can be properly flavored when the time comes?
If you really need the connection, I imagine some Shepherds could have joined the Foundry, despite the arts' conflicting ideals. In my imagined setting, the Foundry grew in numbers - those numbers had to come from somewhere, and they sure didn't come from the Astrals or fire beasts. (Actually, could there be the rare good-hearted Astral who grew tired of his kind's constant oppression that join the Foundry?)
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