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PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2014 10:34 pm 
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Find the stuff here

Corrosion
Yea:
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Illarion Vale
Yea:
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Shandrovol Expansion
Yea:
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

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I have a blog. I review anime, and sometimes related media, with an analytical focus.

I'm a (self) published author now! You can find my books on Amazon in Paperback or ebook!
The Accursed, a standalone young adult fantasy adventure.
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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 10:39 am 
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And now I know why you wanted to create multiple polls in one thread :P

Part of me feels like you could still linger a little more on the end of Corrosion, but I think stopping before the epilogue was the right call, and I think this does a good job of filling in this necessary space in Illarion's timeline.

I don't have a lot to say about Shandrovol. It's an exotic plane but it still feels very much like a Magic plane, and you've done a good job of introducing Phyrexia as a threat and hitting some of the major Phyrexia narrative points without it becoming a copy of Invasion. It's a good world, and I think it'll make for some interesting stories in the future.

Corrosion
Yea: 1
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Illarion Vale
Yea: 1
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Shandrovol Expansion
Yea: 1
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:


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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 1:45 pm 
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You know, just a note: since instituting the polls in votes a lot of M:EMbers have been voting without posting. I don't know if this is significant data, but I thought I'd let you know.


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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 2:17 pm 
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Well I've done that a lot recently because usually I've already given commentary within the original threads themselves. People don't put stuff up to vote these days without some sort of preview, and I realized that it was a waste of time to keep posting "well I already said what I wanted to say about this so you know why I'm voting Yea."

I think that addition of more preview time is the other significant factor here.


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PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 10:00 pm 
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Giving my thumbs-up to all this. I won't rehash my comments on the story beyond reiterating that I think it's wonderful, and that the edits improved it as well. The Phyrexians have never held much fascination for me, but you've definitely captured their essence here.

Also, I'm a fan of Illarion's. In particular, I like to see 'walkers who fit in a little lower on the raw power curve, so he's a welcome presence in my book.

Yea all around!

Corrosion
Yea: 2
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Illarion Vale
Yea: 2
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Shandrovol Expansion
Yea: 2
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 11:44 am 
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I'm for Shandrovol, except that there are two instances of "Koiskk" and one of "Kosikk". Which is it? Also, how do you pronounce it? With a second k sound like "koi-sk-k" or the same as you would with one k?

Theoretically, there should be a decent number of Phyrexian-infected planes out there, right? I mean, it makes sense that we haven't seen but one recently from WotC, but I'm frankly a little surprised we haven't seen more come into the M:EM, even only in WiP form.

Shandrovol Expansion
Yea: 3
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Illarion I like. Actually, reading Corrosion made me want to go and reread Ordinary Day to see how much of Corrosion was mentioned/planned in it. I really like the whole idea of having a fully written history instead of a synopsis in the dossier and stories going forward in time. Plus the whole tourist angle is very relatable; it sounds like something I could end up doing if I became a planeswalker.

Illarion Vale
Yea: 3
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Corrosion is... a whole other can of worms. I enjoyed the story, but to be brutally honest, the number of typos, especially in the second half, made it a slog to work through. There's even a portion of missing text early on. The typos themselves are relatively easy to correct, but some others I don't know your intention and I'd like to hear what you were going for. I'm withholding my vote on it for now.

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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 5:53 pm 
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Hey, Tevish! So, I was finally able to read this (as well as Ordinary Day and Homecoming, which I hadn't read yet) and I have to say that Illarion Vale is a pretty fun character. His attitude is infectious (no pun intended with this story, you understand) and he really interacts with people in an amusing way. I also really love the fact that he's not a very powerful mage, and he knows it. Many of us, myself included, have a tendency to create powerful wizards who can do all sorts of amazing things, and while that is interesting at times, it doesn't stand to reason that all 'walkers would be that way. I think it's fair to say that I like Illarion a lot.

Corrosion


Now we come to the matter of the vote. As Luna mentioned, there were numerous typos and small errors that need to be fixed for this story to get in. For the time being, I'm going to vote yea for Illarion and Shandrovol, and NAI for Corrosion, just until the typos are fixed. The story itself, though, is a go for me. Another job well done. [EDIT]If Tevish says the typos are now fixed, that's good enough for me! Changed my vote below to Yea for Corrosion, as well.

Corrosion
Yea: 3
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Illarion Vale
Yea: 4
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Shandrovol Expansion
Yea: 4
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:


Last edited by RavenoftheBlack on Sat May 17, 2014 6:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 6:37 pm 
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All the typos Luna pointed out should now be fixed.

I really have to thank you for going through and doing that. I'm a pretty fast typist, but not always the most accurate. Believe it or not, I probably catch even more typos than get through while I'm writing. Squiggly red lines under things help that, after all. But some times there will just be something amidst enough proper nouns, or autocorrect will sub in the wrong word, or it will be a single letter left, or I'll just space and miss it. Or I'll revise a sentence three times, walk away before revising it a fourth, and leave the incomplete mishmash in place when I come back. That's particularly embarrassing.

For any of these, having a new set of eyes on it helps a ton.

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"Enjoy your screams, Sarpadia - they will soon be muffled beneath snow and ice."

I have a blog. I review anime, and sometimes related media, with an analytical focus.

I'm a (self) published author now! You can find my books on Amazon in Paperback or ebook!
The Accursed, a standalone young adult fantasy adventure.
Witch Hunters, book one of a young adult Scifi-fantasy trilogy.


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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 6:43 pm 
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All the typos Luna pointed out should now be fixed.

I really have to thank you for going through and doing that. I'm a pretty fast typist, but not always the most accurate. Believe it or not, I probably catch even more typos than get through while I'm writing. Squiggly red lines under things help that, after all. But some times there will just be something amidst enough proper nouns, or autocorrect will sub in the wrong word, or it will be a single letter left, or I'll just space and miss it. Or I'll revise a sentence three times, walk away before revising it a fourth, and leave the incomplete mishmash in place when I come back. That's particularly embarrassing.

For any of these, having a new set of eyes on it helps a ton.

Yeah, Luna is great with that. Keeper, too. And I'm the same as you, Tevish. I'll typically read over/listen to my stuff at least twice before I put it up, and still I leave errors in there. It's pretty natural.


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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 7:25 pm 
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Looks great. To be honest, there were probably a half-dozen or less typos that I couldn't have corrected when putting the thing in google docs, like the missing words in part 1, but I'm glad you bothered going through all of them. :D

I'll be voting Yea, then.

Corrosion
Yea: 4
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Illarion Vale
Yea: 4
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

Shandrovol Expansion
Yea: 4
Nay:
Not As Is:
Abstain:

P.S. Thanks for nailing down the goblin name ;)


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