Joined: Sep 23, 2013 Posts: 6317 Location: New York
The idea is simple. You add one sentence to a story, and from there we grow a story. Post a summary in a spoiler tag, along with notes, ideas, and character directions. This could be fun, this could be terrible. Most likely it will be terrible fun.
Rules:
1. You can only write one expository sentence per post. 2. If you want to break the timeline/story to a different section, the previous section must have 3 paragraphs (9 sentences) and you must note in the beginning of your post that you are breaking the timeline/scene/story. 3. You cannot post consecutively. 4. All posts must follow the CoC. 5. If someone ruins your vision of the narrative, get a bigger vision. 6. You can write more than one sentence IF it's dialogue and IF it concerns a single thought. 7. You can introduce new characters, but ARE NOT allowed to describe them in-story, though you may include your suggestions in the spoiler story notes.
5/13: edited rule 1, added rule 6 and rule 7.
To start:
June arrived, and Fenway decided it was finally time to take down the desiccated Holiday tree.
Story Notes
Fenway is m/f protagonist living in the now to distant future, where Christmas is consigned to a winter-based gift-giving day, absent religious connotations.
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"In all fairness that probably is a sight that would make you stop and reevaluate your life choices." ~ Garren_Windspear
"Thanks for coming over sis," he said as she rolled up her sleeves to help him.
June:
June is a female sibling to Fenway.
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quotes wrote:
squinty_eyes: Alt, you have fantastic logic. And zero political prowess. CKY: Through a convoluted series of events involving three tons of garden gnomes and a pickup truck, Henderson’s Magikarp defeats the Deoxys terrorizing the city.
Joined: Sep 23, 2013 Posts: 6317 Location: New York
June picked up a small box, still wrapped in silver paper and adorned with a garishly green bow, "What are you going to do with all this stuff?"
Story Notes
Fenway and his sister June are taking down Fenway's Holiday tree. Time period: undetermined future. Time of year: sometime after Christmas. Scene: Fenway's house.
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"In all fairness that probably is a sight that would make you stop and reevaluate your life choices." ~ Garren_Windspear
Fenway shrugged; it had honestly been so long since his holiday tree was necessary, he didn't know what he was going to do with it.
Notes:
Fenway is either a slacker, or there is something that occupied his mind preventing him from un-decorating. Juna might not know, or she might be trying to bring it up subtley. YOU DECIDE!
Note: I'm so excited to see something like this, and I can't wait to see how it turns out.
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quotes wrote:
squinty_eyes: Alt, you have fantastic logic. And zero political prowess. CKY: Through a convoluted series of events involving three tons of garden gnomes and a pickup truck, Henderson’s Magikarp defeats the Deoxys terrorizing the city.
squinty_eyes: Alt, you have fantastic logic. And zero political prowess. CKY: Through a convoluted series of events involving three tons of garden gnomes and a pickup truck, Henderson’s Magikarp defeats the Deoxys terrorizing the city.
Joined: Sep 23, 2013 Posts: 6317 Location: New York
"I mean," June continued, gently placing the present back under the skeletal tree, "It's been months, Fen. Your family--maybe we should just donate all this stuff, you know?"
Story Notes
Glad you like it! I'm going with June unsubtly bringing it up. I've also decided to break the one-sentence rule, and will update the original post:
1. You can write more than one sentence IF it's dialogue and IF it concerns a single thought.
2. You can introduce new characters, but ARE NOT allowed to describe them in-story, though you may include your suggestions in the spoiler story notes.
Nice job making June a sister character, btw! I kinda think something tragic happened to Fen's family, and he hasn't bothered cleaning up in the aftermath, and his little sister June is coming over to help get things right again in his household. But who knows what'll happen!
_________________
"In all fairness that probably is a sight that would make you stop and reevaluate your life choices." ~ Garren_Windspear
(This will be helpful as it progresses...) June arrived, and Fenway decided it was finally time to take down the desiccated Holiday tree. "Thanks for coming over sis," he said as she rolled up her sleeves to help him. June picked up a small box, still wrapped in silver paper and adorned with a garishly green bow, "What are you going to do with all this stuff?" Fenway shrugged; it had honestly been so long since his holiday tree was necessary, he didn't know what he was going to do with it. "I mean," June continued, gently placing the present back under the skeletal tree, "It's been months, Fen. Your family--maybe we should just donate all this stuff, you know?" . . .
Fenway was suddenly less excited that June was helping him, but she was right, he wasn't going to be celebrating Emmon's birthday anymore.
Notes:
What exactly is the holiday tree? An aside: At my house we have a holiday tree. It's a er... was a Christmas Tree, but one year we were lazy and never took it down. Instead, and since then, we decorated it appropriately for every holiday, birthdays, special events etc. That's how I view this thus far. He is certainly troubled by something relating to his family. Given June is Fenway's sister I imagine Fenway as having been married, presumably with children, and there was some loss that was limited to his family, but not his parents, or siblings etc.
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quotes wrote:
squinty_eyes: Alt, you have fantastic logic. And zero political prowess. CKY: Through a convoluted series of events involving three tons of garden gnomes and a pickup truck, Henderson’s Magikarp defeats the Deoxys terrorizing the city.
Joined: Sep 23, 2013 Posts: 6317 Location: New York
In fact, Fenway grimly thought, birthdays, Independence day, Christmas... the chances Fen and Emmon were going to celebrate those ever again were slim to none.
Notes
Here's what I think happened:
Fenway, Gwen, and Emmon were a happy little family living in the suburbs of some major metropolis in 2030. Around Christmas, something happened to Emmon, making it so their child (age unknown--possibly middle school?) either wouldn't appreciate the sentimentality of holiday seasons OR was so injured that his chances of recovery were marked as infinitesimal. Either what happened killed Gwen, injured her the same as Emmon, or the stress of it made her leave Fen and Emmon to fend for themselves. Months have passed, and Fen is only just now trying to get his life back together. This does a couple of things:
1. It gives Fenway motivation: his problem is his son and possibly his marriage, and protecting them and improving their situation is his motivation. It also gives him character depth. 2. It provides conflict: Fen inability/ability to deal with whatever happened to Emmon and Gwen determines his character's fate
I wrote "holiday tree" as a way to communicate a society that no longer subscribes to Anglo-Christian archetypes and sees Christmas as a universally celebrated time of giving and not a celebration of Christ's birth.
Note this is a sci-fi kind of future. Not terribly far ahead so there's no major advancements, but if you're not comfortable with that that's cool.
What do you think of a rule where, once a character is introduced, the person after them has to describe them? Like, I describe June and you describe Fen?
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"In all fairness that probably is a sight that would make you stop and reevaluate your life choices." ~ Garren_Windspear
Fenway must have shuddered, because June reached out to hold his hand; his bad hand.
Notes:
It would get harder if/when other people join in and with only one sentence at a time As long as we don't 100% ignore that character mention within the next couple of posts, I think we'll be fine. I wouldn't make a rule rocing anything just yet.
I wanted to imply something seriously wrong with the hand, but I can't do that without a run on sentence, so I leave it for the future. Something to do with an accident, a fight, whatever it is, the hand is related to the trauma.
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quotes wrote:
squinty_eyes: Alt, you have fantastic logic. And zero political prowess. CKY: Through a convoluted series of events involving three tons of garden gnomes and a pickup truck, Henderson’s Magikarp defeats the Deoxys terrorizing the city.
Joined: Sep 23, 2013 Posts: 6317 Location: New York
Question
Should we maybe expand this to 1-3 sentences at a time? Otherwise you're right, we run into issues with run-on sentences and other pacing issues.
June's thumb grazed Fen's knuckles, which were wrapped in swaths of bandages, "Look, if you ever want to talk about it--well, let's just get this cleaned up."
Notes
Here's what I'm thinking for the story:
1. Gwen (the wife) died in a car accident. 2. The accident happened because Emmon--who had some sort of entertainment tech implanted inside of him--caught a computer virus that affected his organics. He had some seizure of sort, causing the wreck, and has subsequently turned into a near-comatose zombie absent any humanity. 3. Fenway is trying to find his humanity and his son's humanity again. 4. I like the injured hand--maybe he clocked Emmon's doctor? Maybe he got into a brawl at a bar? 5. Maybe the antagonists are people going after Emmon, who is actually "trapped" on the internet and his body is being controlled by the virus?
Thoughts?
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"In all fairness that probably is a sight that would make you stop and reevaluate your life choices." ~ Garren_Windspear
We could do, one thought at a time. It will allow for some detail. Or maybe simply. One sentence, but you can add detail that adds to that (first) sentence. That will help as characters or other objects/points get introduced.
Fenway's bandage got caught on some of the needles, and strands of it were left behind as he removed the ragged decorations.
Notes:
I hate gauze bandages. That is all.
_________________
quotes wrote:
squinty_eyes: Alt, you have fantastic logic. And zero political prowess. CKY: Through a convoluted series of events involving three tons of garden gnomes and a pickup truck, Henderson’s Magikarp defeats the Deoxys terrorizing the city.
Joined: Sep 23, 2013 Posts: 6317 Location: New York
Summary
June arrived, and Fenway decided it was finally time to take down the desiccated Holiday tree.
"Thanks for coming over sis," he said as she rolled up her sleeves to help him.
June picked up a small box, still wrapped in silver paper and adorned with a garishly green bow, "What are you going to do with all this stuff?" Fenway shrugged; it had honestly been so long since his holiday tree was necessary, he didn't know what he was going to do with it. "I mean," June continued, gently placing the present back under the skeletal tree, "It's been months, Fen. Your family--maybe we should just donate all this stuff, you know?"
Fenway was suddenly less excited that June was helping him, but she was right, he wasn't going to be celebrating Emmon's birthday anymore. In fact, Fenway grimly thought, birthdays, Independence day, Christmas... the chances Fen and Emmon were going to celebrate those ever again were slim to none.
Fenway must have shuddered, because June reached out to hold his hand; his bad hand. June's thumb grazed Fen's knuckles, which were wrapped in swaths of bandages, "Look, if you ever want to talk about it--well, let's just get this cleaned up."
Fenway's bandage got caught on some of the needles, and strands of it were left behind as he removed the ragged decorations.
Previous Notes
Here's what I'm thinking for the story:
1. Gwen (the wife) died in a car accident. 2. The accident happened because Emmon--who had some sort of entertainment tech implanted inside of him--caught a computer virus that affected his organics. He had some seizure of sort, causing the wreck, and has subsequently turned into a near-comatose zombie absent any humanity. 3. Fenway is trying to find his humanity and his son's humanity again. 4. I like the injured hand--maybe he clocked Emmon's doctor? Maybe he got into a brawl at a bar? 5. Maybe the antagonists are people going after Emmon, who is actually "trapped" on the internet and his body is being controlled by the virus?
"Excuse me," he murmured, pulling away from his sister's touch. He walked out of the living room and down the narrow hallway leading deeper into his home, and turned into his bathroom, "Emmon!" he whispered. "You're not supposed to be up!"
Notes
I like the idea of a single thought/action. It allows for some more depth, while it also prevents a writer from monopolizing the story
_________________
"In all fairness that probably is a sight that would make you stop and reevaluate your life choices." ~ Garren_Windspear
Bato walks into the room. June and Fenway both open their mouths in surprise. They had never expected a Nobel laureate, TV personality, and three time super bowl champion quarterback to walk into their living room.
Notes:
Spoiler
Bato is also (SUPER SECRETLY) the leader of the American Resistance Front, which battles the communist Nazis from Russochina that took over the United States after Obama surrendered to them in 2015. He is 6 foot 8 inches tall, has curly brown hair, and a pretty smile. His interests include mixed martial arts and raising horses on his family farm in Colorado. He's really smart and brave and strong and handsome and married to 5 supermodels.
More notes:
Spoiler
He is also a vampire.
Even more notes:
Spoiler
Please don't take this seriously.
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Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Bato walks into the room. June and Fenway both open their mouths in surprise. They had never expected a Nobel laureate, TV personality, and three time super bowl champion quarterback to walk into their living room.
Notes: [spoiler]Bato is also (SUPER SECRETLY) the leader of the American Resistance Front, which battles the communist Nazis from Russochina that took over the United States after Obama surrendered to them in 2015. He is 6 foot 8 inches tall, has curly brown hair, and a pretty smile. His interests include mixed martial arts and raising horses on his family farm in Colorado. He's really smart and brave and strong and handsome and married to 5 supermodels.
More notes: [spoiler]He is also a vampire.[/spoiler] Even more notes: [spoiler]Please don't take this seriously.[/spoiler]
rstnme reply
WTF THIS IS AWESOME WHY CAN'T WE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY
_________________
"In all fairness that probably is a sight that would make you stop and reevaluate your life choices." ~ Garren_Windspear
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