This is the first magic fanfic I have ever read, and I'm glad I did.

@ Disguised Goblins: As the current Archivist, let me apologize for the current stat of our Archives. We have probably 2 times what's currently in the Archives here, but I've been dragging my feet in converting the files I have into properly spellchecked and formatted versions. Due to recent circumstances, I've accelerated my productivity, so there should be more incoming now and then. Keep an eye out for when the Archives subforum updates.


Wait, Lily, didn't you read Aaarrrgh's story Erik and the Wishmonger? In fact, weren't you the one who requested "a story with unicorns and dragons and a happy ending with a fourth-grade reading level"? That counts.

No, I didn't request that, and I didn't read it.

Fun fact: Malfegor was a unholy abomination spawned by a demon and a dragon.
Malfegor was also the name of a goblin baloon brigade member.

Gogdammit why did I think that? >.>

It was flopfoot, apparently.

I'm sorry. I really am. I have got to stop doing stupid things like that.

Perhaps you were merely recalling a famous anecdote about Dr.Seuss?

I hope that means you'll forgive me. I'm not sure how to read that.

"It's fine, I don't care, you are silly" like that.

Hey, Disguised Goblin! So, I was able to read this more closely, as it is a pretty short piece, and I have a few thoughts.

First of all, this story was not at all what I expected from the beginning. From the title and the first line, I was wondering if it was going to be a sort of humorous short. That first sentence especially reads like the start of a joke. But don't misunderstand, I think that's great. Magic does tend to make jokes out of their goblins, and so I think your opening (and the tone of the entire piece, actually) really works to convey "goblin."

But the way you build the story as it goes is excellent. Borderline brilliant, even. It's almost like every paragraph is layering on more development and more emotion. It's like one of those transparency reports where you keep flipping and things get more and more detailed. And then when you hit us with the emotional sucker punch (I mean that in a very good way) at the end, it's really powerful.

I also love how much characterization you were able to pack into those goblins without doing or saying much of anything, especially Masked Goblin. For some reason, the way their physical descriptions ARE their identities just really works for me. And there is a profoundly heartwarming sadness in that final paragraph I really like, as well as a very clever explanation for why Masked Goblin never went down to get those bones.

I did notice that most of the time you mentioned one of the goblins, it was as though it were a proper noun, like "Tall Goblin." But there were one or two instances where you did not capitalize them. I think you would want to be consistent on that point, and probably capitalize all of them. Other than that, I don't think I have any complaints about this piece.

If you are interested in making these three goblins the "Ruk Gang" from my story The Cruel Finale, I would fully support that. I certainly hope you decide to keep writing stuff and posting it here. This is good work.

This strikes me as a really big compliment. Thank you!


No reason to apologize. You guys have some fun stuff up as it is!


Thanks for the read and the comment. That's pretty cool. I really like your stuff, so the fact that you liked what I wrote is a nice compliment, too. I really didn't think people would like this as much as they seem to. That's pretty cool.

Yeah I just read through it and I agree with Barinellos -- it hits some simple notes that we don't really have a lot of in our Archives. It carries a silent somber tone without going for the gut punch. I think it's the stronger because of it, not trying to over-step it's bounds just to evoke a response in its audience.

Raven also brings up a good point that makes your piece stronger as well: goblins in M:tG are oppressed, the brunt of jokes, enslaved, just stupid, etc. Why this affects your piece is severalfold. First and foremost, you bring a touch of humanity to these goblins, especially Masked Goblin of course. Secondly, the clear implications of the world you have built up around them places it perfectly within Magic expectations: goblins as a persecuted race, murdered out-of-hand without thought of their feelings or culture, possibly even eradicated completely and left extinct, no care even given to give the bodies a proper burial. It really gives your piece the humanizing strength that only Masked Goblin is from here, that he managed to escape, that he comes back to pay respect to his dead family, and that Fat Goblin and Tall Goblin come along with him.

I'm assuming that Masked Goblin's companions are 'walkers themselves, which also implies the strength of the bond they share, that they would accompany him for this personal journey, despite becoming increasingly uncomfortable during their stay and not having the emotional connection to the place that he does. And they do so with minimal complaints, mostly just waiting for the appointed time to arrive.

Then there's the realistic presentation of the world. You don't get heavy on exposition of unrelated portions of the plane, you just describe the location that the characters are experiencing with a little touch of the emotional past that Masked Goblin himself experienced. You make it very clear that this is the just the small, localized spot these characters are experiencing, and being (forgive me for saying this) simple goblins, it works in such a totally coherent way without seeming overly-simplistic.

I can't give you more than two thumbs up for this, but if I could I would.

I feel you may not have expected such detail and/or praise in my review.

This really is one of the best things I have read in a while.

The praise. I mean, I was happy with this story, but I honestly never thought it would get such glowing reviews!


Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it! Like I said, I wrote this cause of some of the other stuff that was already up. You should check that stuff out, too!

So, Disguised, any thoughts on whether you'd be interested in putting this up for an actual vote?

I don't know, I guess so? I mean, you guys can have it if you want it. I just don't know if I'd be all that helpful to you guys. I mean, I'm not trained in literature or anything like you guys. I don't think my feedback would be much more than "I like this," which I would probably say a lot...

And also, I have a deep, dark, terrible secret about my true identity that I can't tell anyone ever...

You don't have to worry about it. The extent of my literary training is one composition class in college (plus whatever I may have taken before my college years that is largely negligible), for instance. A lot of the critical analyses that I offer is just what I've picked up between years of reading/watching reviews and staying around these guys here.

Plus, you shouldn't need to feel obligated toward anything. We keep the uninitiated riff-raff out of voting process, but we don't demand all our Voting M:EMbers to vote all the time.

And whatever it is your secret is, I'm sure it pales in comparison to our other members. Keeper has a book for a head! Oh, and he also wears skirts, but mainly you got to wonder HOW DOES HE COMMUNICATE WITH A BOOK FOR A HEAD?! OrcishLibrarian may or may not be Robert Wagner. I hadn't known before he came along that Robert Wagner was a game developer, either. Yxoque (our previous M:EMperor) is from a magical land of Ba'al Juum. Barinellos- I'd better not describe. You seem like you'd rather your brain stay solid and inside your skull.

As for me? ... Actually, I don't know. Maybe someone else can tell you about me.

Luna is actually a sentient acronym.
I have died twice now, and maybe three times? I've become ambivalent by this point.