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 Post subject: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 10:15 am 
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A vast beach of empty white
for a time, we count the grains,
too busy to see the emptiness,
but we tire of the counting,
we feel the emptiness within us
and we make castles of the sand.
In time, the castles are lapped away,
and the emptiness returns tenfold,
compounded by the loss of what was.
We build new castles,
and in time the loss fades,
but we never forget what was,
and shall never be again.

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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:23 pm 
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Adjectives are, almost always, meaningless. Particularly when you're constructing an emotional landscape from a literal one. Try, for example, falsifying punctuation while doubly employing your tropes, something like:

An empty beach we count grains
busy ourselves to not see
emptiness. We make
castles of sand and
castles are lapped away
and we count we build
new castles
and.

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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:33 pm 
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Existencil crisis: that moment of mortal dread when, after a lifetime of having understood and obeyed the rules but perhaps not yet fully grasping the consequences of breaking them, you intentionally color outside the lines for the first time.


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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:38 pm 
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miss_bun wrote:
Existencil crisis: that moment of mortal dread when, after a lifetime of having understood and obeyed the rules but perhaps not yet fully grasping the consequences of breaking them, you intentionally color outside the lines for the first time.


I mean, I like where cato was going, and yet you still had to bring lotus cobra into it?

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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 1:55 am 
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I was just expanding on the human race's eternal search for meaning! XP


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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 7:44 am 
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miss_bun wrote:
I was just expanding on the human race's eternal search for meaning! XP


A true philosopher would keep their puns at the end......... :V

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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:17 am 
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Thank you for taking the time to read through my poem. Now I feel bad about being too lazy to read through your short story.

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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 8:53 am 
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Cato wrote:
Thank you for taking the time to read through my poem. Now I feel bad about being too lazy to read through your short story.


No biggie. I was eventually going to cash in my evanescent cat points and make you read it anyway. :evil:

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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:23 am 
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You've earned enough catpoints with your clever posting and insight into limited to make me read it.

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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:05 pm 
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How does one earn "cat points"?

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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:57 pm 
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Do things of which I approve.

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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:07 pm 
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I think I received cat points on one occasion, but I can't recall for sure. :teach:


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 Post subject: Re: (Poem) Meaning
PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:51 pm 
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I stopped putting them in my sig, because I'm lazy, but I'm pretty sure you got a lot from making NGA.

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