Then I would still have all my fingers.

What if you could get paid to pop bubblewrap?

Then I'd be popping bubblewrap. Obviously. Though I suppose it would get dull after a while.

What if pigs could fly?

Then my parents would finally buy me a Game Boy!

What if parents always gave their children what they wanted?

Then Pluto would still be a planet.

What if Pluto the planet got angry over it's demotion?

Then it still wouldn't be in any position to do anything about it. Wanna bring your beef to Earth? Go ahead Pluto, we could use a second moon.

What if Jupiter got mad at Earth?

We'd probably never know, what with the lack of efficient interplanetary travel...

What if hypothetical scenarios actually influenced reality?

based on this thread alone reality would go ka-boom

What if only one person had reality warping powers and they were mentally stable?

They would probably not stay mentally stable for very long.

What if the internet shut down permanently without warning?

A great sorrow would descend upon the world, a sorrow that could never be measured through s. Also the world economy would crash. Billions of dollars would vanish and billions more would be forever separated from its owners. People would start watching television again.

What if Supeman doesn't really have a weakness, and just fakes the kryptonite bit to keep things interesting?

He would still be a bland mono-dimensional character - just in a slightly different way. Also Mr Mxyzptlk would probably get more screen time to compensate for a stable of now useless villains.

What if alcohol lost its inebriative quality - effectively just becoming a carbonated soft drink?

Then people would have exactly zero reasons to drink it. Fancy, expensive sodas and legalized marijuana would compete for the newly-liberated market space. Only hipsters and and the the ultra-cultured elite would continue to extoll the virtues of champagne.

What if Batman had superpowers this whole time?

Then he would actually be a short, overweight, middle-aged woman. Because he obviously isn't using his "powers" for combat or persuasive reasoning. "I'm Batman. KA-POW!"

What if we had portable flying cars that could fold up into a convenient, briefcase-like package?

I would run around smacking people with my automobile, yelling, "Car punch!". Actually, assuming they are light enough for convenience, they would make pretty good weapons. Heck, by merit of their expansive properties alone... or you could use them as compactors by putting stuff into the car and having it fold up!

What if everybody was okay with eating bugs?

Then the high-in-protein critters would supplant the world's cattle market, the worldwide bovine population - and therefore bovine flatulence - would decrease significantly, and the o-zone and planet Earth's life expectancy would increase by approximately 5.7%.

And the USDA's new slogan would become, "Save the Planet - Eat a Bug!"

What if, instead of giving gifts at weddings, we received them?

Then young couples would start there lives together even deeper in debt.

What if humans were able to digest wood?

Then I'd have a whole new way to get my daily fiber.

What if there was no such thing as getting fat?

Then my old habit turned new snack of chewing on the end of my pencil would no longer be a problem. Also, Oprah's street cred would vanish. And the winner of The Biggest Loser would just be very depressed.

What if parachutes were never invented?

Then drag racers would stop with forward-facing jets.

What if April Fools lasted more than one day?

What are you talking about? It lasts the entire month, and it always has.

What if there was a simple way to detect sarcasm, both in speech and writing?

Then we'd get a lot more pissed off at each other than we already do.

What if anger was removed from humanity's emotional palette?