"I said I wanted to meet the one with Adamantium claws!"

The person below me is about to be shot by a gun that turns the target into a fruit.

"Hey apple! Apple! Hey apple! Hey"

TPBM is snowboarding during an avalanche.

"Duuuuuuuuude so much fresh powder!"

TPBM is camping when a bear wanders into his campsite.

*draws knife* "It appears the time has come for my rite of passage. Today I become a warrior!" *stabs bear*

TPBM somehow got talked into playing Russian roulette with an AK-47.

"Now if I understand this right, you just put one round in and then take turns pulling trigger and hope it doesn't fire on you turn." *puts round in* "Here I'll go first"

TPBM's car stalled on the train tracks.

*Looks at the train engine fast approaching, then glances down at the dashboard's check engine light* "Well, I guess I can't ignore it any more."

TPBM is about to choke on a piece of Spam.

Spam Spam Spam Spam Baked Beans and *gag* Sp.... *Cough* *Gag* *Wheeze* Spa........ *Die*

TPBM is about to be sucked into a black hole and his ship isnt powerful enough to pull away.

Next time I ask a Genie to make me a starship Captain, I really gotta read the fine print...

TPBM is a professional window washer in NYC, and the scaffolding breaks while he/she is working.

"Oh, I hope this won't delay me. Unless I finish the 28th floor today, the boss will kill me!"

TPBM is inspecting a warehouse full of fireworks, when they see another worker light a cigarette.

"Take the job they said... it'll be a blast they said..."

TPBM just got talked into going Running With The Bulls

"I'll be safe in this china shop..."

The player below me is about to be consumed by a pack of hungry house cats.

~SE++

"The fortune cookie was right...."

The player below me is a red shirt on Star Trek.

"I cant believe the captain selected me to be on the landing crew to explore the *eaten by giant lizard thing* "

TPBM just realized theres a bomb on his bus and he cant go below 55 mph ...to top it off the brisge ahead it out.

"This is just like that one movie I saw that one time...."

TPBM is representing Earthrealm in the Mortal Kombat Tournament.

"I'm finished."

The poster below me just realized the fence they were trying to climb was electric.

"Man, being a paparazzi has its down sides."

The person below me just met Andrew Ryan.

"Andrew Ryan, you say? Oh no! My horoscope said I would spontaneously combust it I met anyone with the initials AR today!"

The person below me tries to google who andrew ryan is and discovers that google is going out of business for ever. As they feel the heart failure coming on, they say...

"Oh yeah. He's from Bioshock...."

The person below me just ate the last twinkie to ever exist due to zombie apocalypse.

"mmh, this is completely counter intuitive to the cardio i've been recommending to everyone, but it's too delicious for me to care. *munch*"

tpbm is tied to railroad tracks with a freight train speeding toward them

*something you cannot hear due to the train's whistle*

The person below me just jumped into the abyss without the Covenant of Artorias.