I'll give your version a spin when I have a relevant quest. Been playing Plague Inc Evolved.
ETA: Played 5 games with this and lost 4. The first game was great, I completely steamrolled the guy. The next four games (Abzan Trials deck - 83 cards, Mono-G ramp, W/G Humans - 70 cards, and Mono-W enchants) I lost. Everything but the mono-G ran and drew Angelic Destiny, which I only saw in the first two games (the latter of which was a Yahenni wearing it who got Cast Out.) I kept hoping to draw removal but it didn't happen, or it would be Push against 5+ CMC stuff. Sram never did anything but sit there and suck. I think he at least should be Ayli - the Deathtouch is a lot more relevant. Also, strangely, I kept being weak against fliers despite having roflcopters, Harvesters, and Destiny. I'm sure at least one of those games was a bad draw (the second I drew 13 land in 25 cards, slightly more than I should have), but overall I kept not being able to do enough about my opponent's side of the board.
Aside from the Ayli swap, I'm not sure where to go. It looks and feels like it SHOULD be working, especially if you get Monument or Oketra (I never did see her, BTW), and that the removal package SHOULD be enough. I dunno, ask Yumi, I have crap draw luck. If it's working for you, great. I got the "cast 15 U or B spells in ranked" quest, so I've probably got 2 or so more games to play with this until I finish that. If I have an upturn in luck, I'll report back.
Also ETA: Lost to 80 card all-but-G Superfriends deck with Ob Nox, Chandra Flamecaller, Saheeli, Gideon, and Sorin in top 20 cards. Languish too. Nothing I played survived a turn. Great times, but I think my version would have been just as screwed. I did, however, beat an Azorius control deck piloted by a guy who kept casting
Aether Tradewinds as a Sorcery, was mana screwed, and kept returning land to his hand. So there's that.