Lowhanging Sage
Creature Sloth Wizard
: Draw a card. End your turn with the least amount of effort possible.
0/1

Wise Ass
Creature - Donkey Shaman (R)
Whenever Wise Ass or another Donkey enters the battlefield under your control, you may perform a haiku about that creature. If you do, draw a card.
If you look closely,
He is counting syllables
Using his fingers.
2½/2½

You want a card with a Weird creature type
But Weird is a Normal creature type
However, Normal is not currently a creature type

Izzet Normal
(Art: A blank white paper cutout of a man or a bear)
Creature-Normal Wizard (U)
Izzet Normal is affected by summoning sickness
You can win the game and your opponents can lose the game
Creatures you control can be the target of spells or abilities
At the beginning of your upkeep, do nothing.
I guess it is
2/2

Chicken Roost
Land
: Add to your mana pool.
, tap an untapped chicken creature you control: put a hatching counter on chicken roost.
, remove 3 hatching counters from ~: target opponent chooses a creature card they own from outside the game. Put that card onto the battlefield under your control.
The Tolarian institute of biology concluded that only chickens hatch from chicken eggs. In light of new evidence, they were forced to greatly broaden their definition of "chicken".

Swine Before Pearls UG
Sorcery
Put a 2/2 Pink Hamfolk Warrior creature token with boarwalk onto the battlefield. If you already control a hamfolk, draw 2 cards instead.