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Accept The Destitute Seeker into the Archives?
Poll ended at Mon Jun 30, 2014 5:09 pm
Yea: 75%  75%  [ 3 ]
Nay: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Not As Is: 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Abstain 25%  25%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 4
Total voters : 4
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 5:09 pm 
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This is the vote for The Destitute Seeker, staring Raiker Venn. It will be for the coming week's vote (June 22nd-29th). Enjoy!

The Destitute Seeker


Last edited by RavenoftheBlack on Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:52 pm 
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I will defer to my comments on the original thread for the bulk of my thoughts. Executive summary is that I think this piece is wonderful, and that I give it a hearty "yea," on the explicit condition that Raiker stays away from the following people and things:

- Windchimes
- Deep-dish pizza
- Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Daniel Craig, and Pierce Brosnan (provided he isn't singing in this movie)
- Warm, fluffy towels fresh from the drier
- 1987

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 3:28 pm 
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- Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Daniel Craig, and Pierce Brosnan (provided he isn't singing in this movie)

David Niven, it is!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 9:23 pm 
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Location: Inside my own head
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Typo, first word, first paragraph:
Quote:
Lighting flashed a brilliant arc in the sky

Should be "lightning".

----

You go immediately from saying Raiker couldn't remember the name of the tavern to saying "the inside of the Seven Barrels" -- it's kind of jarring since in theory we shouldn't know that, right? I mean, since you open following Raiker's perspective, and he doesn't know the name of the place, it stands to reason the audience should be clued in some other way than just "He couldn't remember the place's name. inside [name of place],".

----

This is the third Raiker Venn story I've come across, and I love how you didn't feel the need to immediately link it to The Jaded Cat (I saw that this was the second story written), and instead decided to build him up in the same way as you had in that story. I have really liked the way you've written this character so far, as a man of great power but not just shown through action or battle; that you build through subtle nods and allowing the reader to surmise for themselves his nature rather than spell it out through great evil mustache-twirling acts.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:26 pm 
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You go immediately from saying Raiker couldn't remember the name of the tavern to saying "the inside of the Seven Barrels" -- it's kind of jarring since in theory we shouldn't know that, right? I mean, since you open following Raiker's perspective, and he doesn't know the name of the place, it stands to reason the audience should be clued in some other way than just "He couldn't remember the place's name. inside [name of place],".

For the record, although I still think your argument is valid, it's actually the name of the plane Raiker can't remember. He remembers the tavern just fine. ;)


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