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| [Vote][story]Brilliant Ultimatum http://862838.jrbdt8wd.asia/viewtopic.php?f=45&t=2550 |
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| Author: | Barinellos [ Mon Feb 17, 2014 1:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | [Vote][story]Brilliant Ultimatum |
viewtopic.php?f=19&t=1462 |
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| Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Mon Feb 17, 2014 1:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: [Vote][story]Brilliant Ultimatum |
I've already made my comments on this piece, so I'll just repeat the biggest one. I love the way you set up the scene depicted on the card. Overall, very nice work. |
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| Author: | OrcishLibrarian [ Wed Feb 19, 2014 9:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: [Vote][story]Brilliant Ultimatum |
Like Raven, I already said my bit on the original thread. (Spoiler alert: I liked it!) This thumb points in the upwards direction. |
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| Author: | Lord LunaEquie is me [ Mon Feb 24, 2014 2:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: [Vote][story]Brilliant Ultimatum |
While there's nothing really wrong with the line, "etherium powered the most awesome spells," I find the word awesome stands out quite a bit. I try to avoid using the word while writing whenever possible. Typo? Quote: To do so otherwise would be potentially insulting to your client. I'm pretty sure that "so" doesn't belong there.Otherwise, I think it fits very well with the rest of your series (that I've read so far) and feels very Esper-ish. Not much else I have to say about it. |
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| Author: | M:EM Archivist [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 9:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: [Vote][story]Brilliant Ultimatum |
Apologies, I had some one-time obligation that made me forget about this. This gets in, joining the others in this series. |
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