No Goblins Allowed
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[Vote][Story][Thorneau] A Business Proposal
http://862838.jrbdt8wd.asia/viewtopic.php?f=45&t=25156
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Author:  RavenoftheBlack [ Tue Jul 30, 2019 11:27 am ]
Post subject:  [Vote][Story][Thorneau] A Business Proposal

Title: A Business Proposal
Author: RavenoftheBlack
Status: Public
Word Count: 4801

This is for the voting period of August, 2019.

A Business Proposal

Author:  RavenoftheBlack [ Tue Jul 30, 2019 11:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Vote][Story][Thorneau] A Business Proposal

Based on feedback from the original thread, I have made a slight alteration to the first version of the story. One line was changed, and about four or five paragraphs were added. Both changes are near the end of the story, and here is how that section appears now:

Spoiler

Author:  Huey Nomure [ Tue Jul 30, 2019 12:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Vote][Story][Thorneau] A Business Proposal

I like the addition a lot :D I feel the ground slipping under Thomas' feet.

Author:  RavenoftheBlack [ Tue Jul 30, 2019 12:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Vote][Story][Thorneau] A Business Proposal

I like the addition [i]a lot[/it] :D I feel the ground slipping under Thomas' feet.

I'm really glad it works for you, Huey! It was based on your feedback, after all! Rereading it, I very much agree with you that the turn was a bit too sudden in the original draft.

Thanks again!

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