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The Hermit's Burden
Poll ended at Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:19 pm
Yea 75%  75%  [ 3 ]
Nay 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Not As Is 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Abstain 25%  25%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 4
Total voters : 4
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 3:40 am 
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Characters: Aloise Hartley

The Hermit's Burden by RuwinReborn

Part One
Spoiler

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Last edited by RuwinReborn on Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:43 am, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 3:44 am 
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Part Two
Spoiler


P.S: I do not know how to add the vote thingy. T_T Is that for moderators only, or is this something I should know?

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Last edited by RuwinReborn on Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 10:34 am 
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When you make a new thread, down at the bottom, there is a section that says "poll creation." You can put in a question, and then below that is a white box where you can input up to ten possible options for the vote.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 12:21 pm 
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When you make a new thread, down at the bottom, there is a section that says "poll creation." You can put in a question, and then below that is a white box where you can input up to ten possible options for the vote.

Indeed. I edited one in, but for future reference, I typically set the expiration for the poll to whatever the end of the next voting week is, since that's how long they are supposed to be open; and allow re-voting.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 10:51 am 
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I've already said what I wanted to about this piece. It's very good, and up to Ruwin's typical high quality of writing. As always, it's really fun to see these characters grow throughout these stories.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 12:35 am 
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Location: Inside my own head
Identity: Human
Part1 concerns

Part2 concerns

Overall Impressions

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:56 am 
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Glad to see my grammatical errors are nothing if not consistent. T_T Got them all fixed, should read through better now. Specifically, the line about the smug and flat gaze: I was, in fact, saying that Aloise found it impressive that Satchen was capable of giving her such a look. I cleaned it up to make that clear.

And yes, the whole story is from Aloise's point of view, so the Thrim thing was just a pronoun misuse.

@Impressions: I appreciate that greatly. I was really gunning for that emotional punch, and its good to know I succeeded with at least one person. Really, I thought it was going to be more challenging to make Motta a sympathetic character. Like, I was able to get people to sympathize with Fisco, and I was worrying over Motta. I guess I was afraid of overdoing it, hehe.

Anyway, I think the hardest part for me to write, emotionally, is when Motta turns over on his back - probably for the first time since he can remember - and laments his brother's death.

I think I was trying to hard with Brand's letter. Hm. Anyway, thanks a lot, Luna. Appreciate it. :)

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 1:12 pm 
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With 3 non-abstain votes, and recent discussion, this work has been accepted.


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