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| [Vote][Story] Skysong http://862838.jrbdt8wd.asia/viewtopic.php?f=45&t=17948 |
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| Author: | Tevish Szat [ Sat Feb 18, 2017 10:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | [Vote][Story] Skysong |
Status: Public Located here: viewtopic.php?f=19&t=17872 |
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| Author: | RavenoftheBlack [ Sat Feb 25, 2017 3:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: [Vote][Story] Skysong |
...and within three years it was weaponized, and hundreds of thousands died... Sorry. Anyway, I like this piece, and as others have mentioned, there is a ton of great imagery here, and that nice, almost cinematic moment at the end when she bursts through the clouds. There are a number of typos, which I did not jot down. I remember one where Song was stronger than "he" looked, and there was at least one instance of a quotation mark ending a paragraph in which there was no dialog. Also, this line I did copy: "and Song was sure the city's air wasn't doing him any fathers." But typos aside, this was a good read. Yea from me. |
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| Author: | OrcishLibrarian [ Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: [Vote][Story] Skysong |
I'll mainly defer to my comments on the original thread, but, suffice to say, I'm a fan, and this is a "yea" from me! |
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