In paragraph 3: "Those that survived the biref but terrible fury of the war."

In the paragraph describing Gliders: "tirning"

In the section of The Underground: "Necrosynth1"

A few paragraphs down in that same section: "deliberatley"

In the section Geography: "Tunnle-town"

In the part about Rooms: "wil lbe"

In the section about Ghosts, a sentence begins with an un-capitalized "this".

In the section Highlands: The highlanders to not abide...

In the section Bloodfruit and Grabbers, you say "junge" when I presume you mean "lunge".

In the Pyris section: "Constand degradation"

In the history of the Crater, at one point you say "Ravana" instead of Ravan, and I'm not sure why.

In the paragraph starting "The great Trades": trages

In the section on the Merchant classes, you say "buy and cell", and shortly afterward you say "onlt".

In the part about "Outsiders", you say "accorded", when I think you mean "afforded", and a little later you say "rarley".

In the part about the Altrium calendar, you say "Sidreal" instead of sidereal, twice I believe.


Also, there seem to be numerous times when you forget the final period of a sentence. I have listed the ones I noticed, because I do that sort of thing:

The paragraph beginning:
Nobles
Vaults and Abysses
"The first and more common..."
Riftlands - "The jungle itself..."
"The children of the Living flame"
Commoners
The living flame banner
"Servants of the Rakshasas"

The second paragraph of Altrium, The Aerial Kingdom:

That second sentence is... a little confusing. Maybe you mean "Titanic forces"?

Typo:

Should be "townships" (plural).

Typo:




You imply Sunstones are fragile, but you don't say how fragile. Are they prone to shattering but strong against compressive forces, like glass? Are fractured pieces still usable as smaller sources, or are they only viable when complete? Or are these nebulous notions left for other people to fill in?



Nothing against you, but this line:

Made me immediately think of a Gurren Lagann-style face-off where the badass pilot is staring off his competition through his rad goggles and with his hands across his chest.

Typo:


I would also suggest changing this line:
to "if only a miniscule amount is consumed".

Typo:


Typo:


Typo:




I feel like you missed an opportunity for a great large ecosystem of cave-dwelling creatures (like insects and/or amphibians), but I won't count it against you or the plane, since you were obviously going for a certain aesthetic.



This line:

I feel should be changed to "the best light available" or "the best light in the Underworld", since just saying "the world" kind of implies "best in the plane", which can obviously be better than what's available underground.



While I'm not going to say the Nyx Conclave needs a name change, I will say that it stands out to me because of the implications of the word Nyx. (And also because I've become attached to one Nyx in particular, as you may have guessed from my avatar.)

Typo:

Should be "built bridges" (past tense).

Typo:

Should be "features".

Typo:

Should be "By and large". The line is also slightly confusing because of the immediate repeat of "getting more"; I would suggest changing it to "finding more and getting more out of what they find".

Typo:

Comma missing between "Altrium" and "the Children of the Living Flame".



I don't really know whether I should facepalm or congratulate you for the Asimov reference.

I kind of hate to say it, but I don't like how the first section is called "Welcome to the Jungle". We've already been given three sections that outline [each layer = a color] and the Highlands say the Rifts are filled with jungle. You didn't need to resort to that old cliche to communicate that.



This line:

Is rather jarring because A) It's the first incidence of this being more a narration than a written guide (i.e. that the writer is essentially breaking the fourth wall); and B) While I understand this is being read only by humans, Planeswalker's Guides should be written in 3rd-person so as not to break the immersion -- 'walkers come in all races, so why should this guide be written from a human perspective?



Typo:

Should be "exsanguination" (with an "s").

Typo:


Typo:


Typo:

Should be "persistence" (with an "e").

Typo:


Contradiction:





Ha. Ha. -_-

I'm not sure if saying the Rakshasas are "kin" to Nacatl, Leonin, etc. really helps as it's phrased.



Typo:

There should be an additional comma between "Ravan" and "the Imperial Family".

Typo:

Should be "trades".

Mutiple typos:


Typo:


Typo:

Should be "comestible" (with an "i") or the more common "consumable".



If all elves are kept as slaves, why are humans farmers to begin with? Why not have "farmers" be landowners who have their elf slaves grow and harvest their crops? Or was that explained and I missed it?

Typo:

Period missing from the end of "Leyana", before "It starts and ends".



Just how do the people of the Underworld keep track of time? Do they have mechanical clocks in every town? Are there magical crystals that pulse with every prime? Is there some widely-known cantrip that people can cast to tell them the time?