I'm going for NAI. The exploration part was gripping, I like Morgan's notes a lot and the discoveries L&M make are very intriguing indeed, but the piece has a number of issues.
Something about the title itself kept me from approaching the piece until now. As I read it I felt something was... odd. Maybe not wrong, but not exactly right either. I read the comments on the original thread, as I sometimes do when I feel something's off but I can't put my finger on it, and I found out I agree with some of the points Raven made:
Quote: For one thing, I really don't like Jackson Lake, for several reasons. First of all, the name, particularly when this story features an actual lake, the name seemed both none-fantasy, which I'm usually against except on planes where it makes sense for specific real-life evocation, like Jakkard or Thorneau. Also, he strikes me very much as a sort of exaggerated Indiana Jones, but basically without the redeeming qualities.
[...]
I also wasn't a fan of the "nerdy girl takes off her glasses and jerk male character realizes she's actually pretty" cliché there at the end.
I don't mind the "real"ness of Lake's name, but I do object to the choice of surname when a lake is heavily featured in the narrative. I kept thinking there was a link between the character and the location, and the fact no one, not even the narrator, acknowledge the fact makes me think it's an unfortunate coincidence that should be rectified.
About the man himself... I tend to find this type of character obnoxious, but that's just my personal taste. I won't judge the piece on this basis.
But the fact that the only moment where his behavior changes is to indulge some worn out cliché is not a good thing. There are a bunch of things that could be edited to make Jackson less two-dimensional while keeping him over the top, especially things that are shown instead of told us through Elise. On second thought, I find him obnoxious because there's no actual evidence that tells me he's like this just to be a comic relief or a prop to set an Indiana-esque scene on the third act.
And here we reach my second point.
Quote: Basically, my biggest problem with this piece is that I wasn't sure if I was supposed to take it seriously or not. With the names of the characters, the alternate titles, both of which are longer than they need to be, and the use of modern things like dynamite, or Lily saying "this is going to be cool," I thought for a while that this was going to be an non-canon, tongue-in-cheek piece, which made it harder to get involved in it.
Apart from the dynamite issue, which I don't particularly mind and is basically a matter regarding the idea each one of us has of the fantasy genre and the M:EM in particular*, I agree with this. There are parts that sing "don't care about the details! Nothing serious here! Everything's gonna be fine!", and others where very dark shadows indeed loom over the characters. What this piece lacks is an equilibrium that allows for a light (but still plausible) mood at the beginning and the end and a more serious and chilling part in the middle. You could also go for a strong and permanent mood whiplash, but I gather this is not what you wanted.
*If we accepted a Western-like plane and a steampunk one, reaching " '20s-esque archaeology" is a small step. Hell, I love the Shadowrun lore and worldboulding, and in that setting you can find an elven mage fireballing cybernetically enhanced trolls to protect her dwarven friend who connected his brain to the Matrix! But of course, others may disagree.
About secondary characters: James reeks awfully of red shirt. No actual line of dialogue or meaningful interaction I can remember, he seems just a name to throw under the monster army to show their magic. On the other hand, Sarah manages to be good at her role with very minimal characterization; the fact that someone mentions a relevant part of their background without it being the reason for very unprofessional behavior later on is greatly appreciated in this kind of story. Lily's... nothing to speak of, but there is no glaring flaw either.
A little thing that made my Chekhov's alarm go off was Elise getting zapped by the monster factory: From time to time I had the impression she was hearing or feeling things different from the others because of this, but in the end nothing happens.
An issue related to the last is the frequent shifting of the POV. This is a piece related to exploration and discovery, and you seem to choose a narrator very close to the POV; the problem is, the more close the narrator is to the POV's mind, the more jarring is the shift to another POV without a section break, at least to me.
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I have 0 problems with name chances, especially when people pointed out that having Lake and a lake was confusing.