I believe this is the main reason why some had issues with keeping track of the shaman; normally if the same character is continuing dialogue across multiple paragraphs, there is no closing quotation. This, coupled with the fact you call him "the shaman" in one paragraph and "the old man" in another, makes it seem as if two different characters are talking. I myself hazarded a guess that there was only the one character, and it only happened that I was correct. I'd suggest dropping that closing quotation mark on the first paragraph or else combining these two into one paragraph.
Fair enough.
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Is that the proper plural for portcullis? Also, I would suggest adding a comma after "impenetrable" to break up the sentence a bit better.
I believe it is? I think it's a singular form plural.
Also fair enough.
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I believe this is meant to be "fear-bringing". As it stands it almost seems to say the instincts are bringing caution.
The fear brought caution. Otherwise the phrase doesn't really make sense.
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Secondly, I really, really like this. I love the metaphorical tone you have going for the piece, I love the dark setting mirroring the dark tone, and for whatever it's worth the problems I normally have with your writings don't seem to be here (not that I've ever been able to pin down the issues I usually have with your works).
Glad you like it. I think it's a really successful piece, but there again, I am biased.
I'd had this story in mind for ages before I put it together, so I'm just glad it's out there now.
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