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The Storm & Seasons
Poll ended at Wed May 11, 2016 1:08 am
Yea 89%  89%  [ 8 ]
Nay 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Not-As-Is 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Abstain 11%  11%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 9
Total voters : 9
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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2016 1:08 am 
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So, I apologize for doing this in a way that is a little bit out-of-the-ordinary, but I have two stories for voting this week -- a microstory called "The Storm," and a short story called "Seasons" -- and I'd like to essentially lump them together into a single vote.

The reason for that is that both of these pieces feature a character who isn't in the Archive yet, and, while I think that they are separate stories, if you will, I don't think that one can stand without the other. If they aren't both in the Archive, then neither should be.

As such -- assuming that the Archivist doesn't object -- I'm going to ask that people vote on the stories as a pair.

One other item of note -- I have changed the main character's name from the versions that were originally posted. She's now Haru, as opposed to Hara. After giving it a lot of thought, I think that the name change is necessary, so as not to step on the toes (hooves?) of Sri Hara.

Anyway, all that blathering aside, here are the actual stories:


The Storm :diamond:

The Storm


Seasons :diamond:

Seasons

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Last edited by OrcishLibrarian on Wed May 04, 2016 10:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue May 03, 2016 11:28 pm 
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I read 'the storm' and it's brilliant.


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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 12:09 pm 
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I have already said that I find these stories, as well as their main character, brilliant and well handled. Clear Yea from me.

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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 7:24 pm 
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The Storm

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PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2016 10:15 pm 
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I read 'the storm' and it's brilliant.

Thanks for the very kind words, Lunar! I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story.


Aaarrrgh wrote:
I have already said that I find these stories, as well as their main character, brilliant and well handled.

Likewise, thanks again for reading, Aaarrrgh, and for the very kinds words -- they mean a lot.


The Storm

Oh, man, sorry about that, Luna. This one gets me, too, for whatever that's worth.

Thanks very much for reading!

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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2016 2:08 pm 
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Hard to believe, you outdid The Storm.

Well done.


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PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2016 9:16 pm 
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Thank you again for the very kind words, Lunar -- I'm really happy that you enjoyed both stories!

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PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2016 10:15 pm 
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On Seasons:
The one issue I have to raise regards the farmer's introduction. You mention his teeth being black and pitted, but unless he were smiling or gawking, shouldn't his mouth have been closed when he first opened the door for Haru? I don't think the line about his teeth is necessary since they never come up again in the story.

Other than that, I thought it was brilliant. It went from quiet contemplativeness to heart-wrenching empathy with just a few simple lines, and by god I love you for that.

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PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2016 10:55 pm 
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Thanks so much for reading, Luna -- and I appreciate the comments!

The one issue I have to raise regards the farmer's introduction. You mention his teeth being black and pitted, but unless he were smiling or gawking, shouldn't his mouth have been closed when he first opened the door for Haru? I don't think the line about his teeth is necessary since they never come up again in the story.

Huh. You know what? I never even thought about that. Guess I'll have to give it a think.


Other than that, I thought it was brilliant. It went from quiet contemplativeness to heart-wrenching empathy with just a few simple lines, and by god I love you for that.

Well, thank you for the very kind words -- I'm really glad that you liked the story!

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PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2016 2:45 pm 
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Interesting story, interesting character, and a much different tone than most of our stories. Yea from me.

Although, I will say that I disagree with the premise that neither of these stories can stand without the other. I think either could work alone. They do compliment one another, of course, but I don't think one needs the other.


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PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2016 7:53 pm 
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These are wonderful stories. I got chills reading them, like the first time I ever read the Jackie stories -- only these are even more compelling, even closer to my heart. A+ work.

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PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2016 10:14 pm 
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Interesting story, interesting character, and a much different tone than most of our stories. Yea from me.

Thanks so much for reading, Raven, and thanks for the very kind words! I'm really glad that you enjoyed the stories!


Although, I will say that I disagree with the premise that neither of these stories can stand without the other. I think either could work alone. They do compliment one another, of course, but I don't think one needs the other.

From a story perspective, I guess you're right. I guess that maybe what I should have said is that I kind of can't see Haru as a complete character without seeing both of these moments from her life. If, somehow, one of them wound up as "officially" her, and the other one didn't, then I almost feel like she wouldn't be whole -- she would be someone other than who I think she is. So maybe that's what I was trying to get at, if that makes any sense?


These are wonderful stories. I got chills reading them, like the first time I ever read the Jackie stories -- only these are even more compelling, even closer to my heart. A+ work.

Well, thank you so much for reading, CKY, and for the extraordinarily kind words! You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that.

So, thank you again, and I'm really glad that you enjoyed the stories!

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