No Goblins Allowed :: [Vote] [Poem] Journey to Nowhere

Journey to Nowhere

A path to nowhere, downward I descend,
Accompanied by nothing but my fears,
For what awaits me at my journey’s end?

My fate is merciless and strives to blend
Disaster and misfortune as it clears
A path to nowhere. Downward I descend!

I feel as though a tragic poet penned
My voyage as I search through dark frontiers
For what awaits me at my journey’s end.

I prayed that some great god above would send
A lifeline down to me. But what appears?
A path to nowhere! Downward I descend!

When torments I now fully comprehend,
I bitterly discard remaining years,
For what awaits me at my journey’s end?

I am resigned to what I must attend,
No choice remains, I look around, and here’s
A path to nowhere, downward I descend
For what awaits me at my journey’s end.

this is a really interesting form. a little hard to parse because it so closely resembles a truncated sonnet so it sets up expectations, but once you get past that it's neat. I don't really get the word choices though. beyond the repetition which is cool, much of it just feels like... I don't know, padding probably isn't the right word, but I don't really get much structure or guidance from it. I'm not sure how Imma vote yet but I'll think about it.

:duel:

razorborne wrote:

Hey, razor!

This is a villanelle, like Dylan Thomas's famous "Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night." And whenever I work with repetitive patterns like villanelles and sestinas, I like to try to play around with the meanings at least a little bit, thus the differing punctuation and lead-ins to the repeated lines.

RavenoftheBlack wrote:

razorborne wrote:

huh, never heard of it. neat!

:duel:

Author:	RavenoftheBlack [ Sat Mar 12, 2016 2:34 am ]
Post subject:	[Vote] [Poem] Journey to Nowhere
Title: Journey to Nowhere Poet: RavenoftheBlack Status: Public This is for the voting week of March 13-21. Journey to Nowhere Journey to Nowhere A path to nowhere, downward I descend, Accompanied by nothing but my fears, For what awaits me at my journey’s end? My fate is merciless and strives to blend Disaster and misfortune as it clears A path to nowhere. Downward I descend! I feel as though a tragic poet penned My voyage as I search through dark frontiers For what awaits me at my journey’s end. I prayed that some great god above would send A lifeline down to me. But what appears? A path to nowhere! Downward I descend! When torments I now fully comprehend, I bitterly discard remaining years, For what awaits me at my journey’s end? I am resigned to what I must attend, No choice remains, I look around, and here’s A path to nowhere, downward I descend For what awaits me at my journey’s end.

Author:	razorborne [ Sat Mar 19, 2016 12:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [Vote] [Poem] Journey to Nowhere
this is a really interesting form. a little hard to parse because it so closely resembles a truncated sonnet so it sets up expectations, but once you get past that it's neat. I don't really get the word choices though. beyond the repetition which is cool, much of it just feels like... I don't know, padding probably isn't the right word, but I don't really get much structure or guidance from it. I'm not sure how Imma vote yet but I'll think about it.

Author:	RavenoftheBlack [ Sat Mar 19, 2016 3:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [Vote] [Poem] Journey to Nowhere
razorborne wrote: this is a really interesting form. a little hard to parse because it so closely resembles a truncated sonnet so it sets up expectations, but once you get past that it's neat. I don't really get the word choices though. beyond the repetition which is cool, much of it just feels like... I don't know, padding probably isn't the right word, but I don't really get much structure or guidance from it. I'm not sure how Imma vote yet but I'll think about it. Hey, razor! This is a villanelle, like Dylan Thomas's famous "Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night." And whenever I work with repetitive patterns like villanelles and sestinas, I like to try to play around with the meanings at least a little bit, thus the differing punctuation and lead-ins to the repeated lines.

Author:	razorborne [ Sat Mar 19, 2016 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [Vote] [Poem] Journey to Nowhere
RavenoftheBlack wrote: razorborne wrote: this is a really interesting form. a little hard to parse because it so closely resembles a truncated sonnet so it sets up expectations, but once you get past that it's neat. I don't really get the word choices though. beyond the repetition which is cool, much of it just feels like... I don't know, padding probably isn't the right word, but I don't really get much structure or guidance from it. I'm not sure how Imma vote yet but I'll think about it. Hey, razor! This is a villanelle, like Dylan Thomas's famous "Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night." And whenever I work with repetitive patterns like villanelles and sestinas, I like to try to play around with the meanings at least a little bit, thus the differing punctuation and lead-ins to the repeated lines. huh, never heard of it. neat!

Author:	RavenoftheBlack [ Sat Mar 19, 2016 5:53 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [Vote] [Poem] Journey to Nowhere
razorborne wrote: RavenoftheBlack wrote: razorborne wrote: this is a really interesting form. a little hard to parse because it so closely resembles a truncated sonnet so it sets up expectations, but once you get past that it's neat. I don't really get the word choices though. beyond the repetition which is cool, much of it just feels like... I don't know, padding probably isn't the right word, but I don't really get much structure or guidance from it. I'm not sure how Imma vote yet but I'll think about it. Hey, razor! This is a villanelle, like Dylan Thomas's famous "Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night." And whenever I work with repetitive patterns like villanelles and sestinas, I like to try to play around with the meanings at least a little bit, thus the differing punctuation and lead-ins to the repeated lines. huh, never heard of it. neat! They're not particularly common in English. They're more common in French, from what I understand.

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[Vote] [Poem] Journey to Nowhere http://862838.jrbdt8wd.asia/viewtopic.php?f=45&t=13787	Page 1 of 1

Author:	OrcishLibrarian [ Sat Mar 19, 2016 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [Vote] [Poem] Journey to Nowhere
Oh, I do like this one. And, it's funny, I never would have made the connection to Dylan Thomas, but, now that you've mentioned "Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night," I'm actually sort of hearing his voice and cadence in my head from the Caedmon Collection, which is a pretty neat thing. I like the Tragic Poet callout, too, since we are dealing with an enchantment, here. "Yea" from me.

Author:	Lunar Mystic [ Tue Mar 22, 2016 7:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: [Vote] [Poem] Journey to Nowhere
Very good. I would vote yea'.

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