No Goblins Allowed
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[Vote] [Story] Breaking Form
http://862838.jrbdt8wd.asia/viewtopic.php?f=45&t=13115
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Author:  RavenoftheBlack [ Wed Jan 06, 2016 4:24 pm ]
Post subject:  [Vote] [Story] Breaking Form

Title: Breaking Form
Authors: KeeperofManyNames and RavenoftheBlack
Status: Public

This is for the voting week starting Sunday, January 10th.

Changes from the original


Breaking Form

Author:  KeeperofManyNames [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Vote] [Story] Breaking Form

Wow and it only took us a year to finally put this up for voting!

Author:  razorborne [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Vote] [Story] Breaking Form

word count: 12223

:cry:

:duel:

PS: the meter in the voting options is a little off

Author:  Huey Nomure [ Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: [Vote] [Story] Breaking Form

'random ramblings'

tl;dr: Yea

Author:  OrcishLibrarian [ Mon Jan 18, 2016 12:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Vote] [Story] Breaking Form

I missed the voting deadline like a genuine chump. :( But, since it looks like we have one more week to sing the praises of this wonderful piece, I will happily do so, and add my "yea."

I remember really liking this story when it came out, and sifting back through it reminded me of why. The contrast of styles and voices here is really fun, and this story has one of my favorite endings of all time. :)

Author:  Aaarrrgh [ Mon Jan 18, 2016 8:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Vote] [Story] Breaking Form

My only critique here is that some of the paranthetical statements seemed out of place. I simply felt that they didn't need the paranthesis, and so the unexpected punctuation was a bit jarring to me. Which also was an eye opener, because I know I have overused parenthesis in the past.

But that is a very minor issue with a finely crafted story. I loved the interplay between the characters, and especially how it showed some of the more human aspects of Raleris ("I just almost died twice but managed to talk my way out of it in a way that not only saved everyone's lives, but made everyone happier in the process! The question is, how do I best celebrate this? Oh, I know: awful pun!")

But seriously, solid work!

Author:  Lunar Mystic [ Sat Jan 23, 2016 1:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: [Vote] [Story] Breaking Form

Nice opening!

The characters are very natural.

It's very surreal. I really like the imagery. It strikes hard like momentary confusion, and softly intrigues, just the same.

I'm not too fond of the poem at the end, but it's well written.

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