Title: Spinning Clock
Poet: RavenoftheBlack
Status: Public

This is for the voting week starting December 20, 2015.

Raven, is this the one that you did a reading for, and posted the video on YouTube? Or am I getting my memories muddled?

I think the second stanza is my favorite in this one. There's something very, very evocative about the last line, especially. It's like I can hear people and horses stampeding in my direction.

Anyway, I think this is great. "Yea" from me!

Indeed it is! You can find it here: Spinning Clock


Glad you liked it! And yeah, they might be heading toward you, or they might be heading away. The direction changes a lot based on your point of view...


Thanks!

this is... much more interesting. I feel like there's a little too much liberty taken with the meter here. it alternates pretty freely between trochees and amphimacers, which is pretty cool, but there are times when it's not really either. the line "Sleeves are deceitful and deep" specifically is almost impossible for me to not read as dactylic. "Mine once, now only lost," is also pretty hard to parse in the general meter. I really like most of this, and the jumps between the two primary feet I think are great and give the whole thing a jagged feel but the parts where it steps entirely outside that feel too off for me. I'm gonna vote not as is with the request for some metric smoothing.