It is currently Thu Nov 28, 2024 6:38 am

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

Is there a Cold Wind blowing?
Poll ended at Sun Aug 16, 2015 5:27 pm
A Pleasant Breeze (Yea): 86%  86%  [ 6 ]
The Cold Wind blows, alright... (Nay): 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I could use a windbreaker (Not As Is): 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm hunkering down for winter (Abstain): 14%  14%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 7
Total voters : 7
Author Message
 Post subject: [Vote][Story] Cold Wind
PostPosted: Sat Aug 08, 2015 5:27 pm 
Offline
Member
User avatar

Joined: Sep 22, 2013
Posts: 11080
Title: Cold Wind
Author: RavenoftheBlack
Status: Public
Word Count: 3803

Cold Wind


Like this post
Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 5:33 am 
Offline
Member
User avatar

Joined: Sep 23, 2013
Posts: 4975
Preferred Pronoun Set: He/him
I really like this piece. It does a good job of establishing the setting, and Salkhi is a great character. There are some deep internal conflicts there, which is something I like.

My only critique is that it was sometimes hard to follow, simply because there are no formatting clues as to what is flashback and what is current action. But that's a minor issue, and I could almost always pick it up a sentence or two into each paragraph.

Voting Yea.

_________________
Come and play 3 Card Magic! The Most Minimalistic Magic Format! (TM)

my ego sig


Like this post
Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 12:10 am 
Offline
Member

Joined: Sep 22, 2013
Posts: 12283
So, given my own role of editor to this, I think it obvious that it meets my approval. You did a good job at the transition sequences, which was tricky.

_________________
At twilight's end, the shadow's crossed / a new world birthed, the elder lost.
Yet on the morn we wake to find / that mem'ry left so far behind.
To deafened ears we ask, unseen / "Which is life and which the dream?"


Like this post
Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2015 7:39 am 
Offline
Member
User avatar

Joined: Nov 04, 2013
Posts: 5157
Trying to sneak my two cents in here before the deadline. I'll mainly defer to my comments on the original thread, but the short version is that I'm a fan. "Yea" from me.

_________________
"And remember, I'm pullin' for ya, 'cause we're all in this together." - Red Green


Like this post
Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group